Dead but not forgotten.

This man died a couple of weeks ago.   Please take a few minutes and read over his obituary.

Aug. 17, 1926 ~ May 7, 2013 Melvin Duane Gadd, age 86, passed peacefully away on May 7, 2013, in his home, surrounded by his family. He was born August 17, 1926 in Seattle, Washington to Edgar Issac and Laura Brown Gadd. At a young age he honorably served in the U.S. Army during World War II. Afterward he served an LDS mission in the Eastern States. He married the love of his life, Rosemary Kimball, in the Salt Lake Temple on November 21, 1960. He graduated from the University of Utah with a degree in education, teaching fifth and sixth grades in the Granite School District. Mel and Rosemary moved to Bountiful in 1961 and raised their four children there. They are the proud parents of Duane, who died unexpectedly in 2012, (Janice Abbott), Paul (Holly Lawrence), Leslie (Rocke Thompson), and Brian, (Dalynn Black). His 15 grandchildren were a great joy in his life and they loved his stories and his great sense of humor. He shared his love for gardening, fishing, and camping with his children and grandchildren. Mel was an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and was always faithful to his strong testimony and love for his Father in Heaven and his Savior, Jesus Christ. He served with faithful dedication in various callings throughout the Church which included many years as an ordinance worker the Bountiful Temple. Mel and Rosemary served as senior-couple-missionaries in Birmingham, England in 1996 - 1997, and he later spent many years doing family history and temple work for his ancestors. Funeral services will be held Saturday, May 11, 2013 at 11:00 a.m. at the North Canyon Second Ward at 3350 South 100 East, Bountiful. Friends and family may attend a viewing Friday evening from 6:00 - 8:00 p.m. at the Russon Brothers Bountiful Mortuary, 295 North Main, and Saturday from 9:45 - 10:45 a.m. at the church prior to services. Interment at the Bountiful City Cemetery.


He sounds amazing right.    Loved by so many.   So accomplished.   I love the part where it talks about what a great grandpa he was.    That's what he felt like to me.   Like a grandpa.   He looked exactly the same in the picture above when he was my 5th grade teacher.
Truth is.  this man was a child molester and rapist.   I didn't know what kind of a monster he was until many years later.   Years later when my best friends sisters best friend (get that) committed suicide because she just couldn't handle what had happened to her.  It was all written out in her suicide letter.  All about how he would close the blinds in his corner class room and fondle and eventually rape her.  
Her family had gone after him....but statute of limitations had run out.    I just assumed that because of her an investigation would have ensued that would have brought him to justice.
To be honest....I have no idea what ever happened to him.    He was transferred.   maybe to another school.   Much like a catholic priest just passed along.    From his obit. it doesn't sound like he had a forced but quiet retirement.

He picked favorites.   2 of my friends and I were his favorites.   We got to stay after class during recess and help correct papers.   Or clean up.   Or just sit on his lap.    He had a drawer with caramels in it and when we were finished we'd get a caramel and sometimes a kiss.   I remember he would point to his cheek and wait for his kiss.    Sometimes he'd turn his head quickly to kiss us on the lips.   Or maybe it was just that one time.   Either way I remember wiping my lips off and with a screwed up face saying, "ewww"  We'd laugh and it was so wonderful and he loved us so much....just like a grandpa.

Something very important happened to me that year.    My parents were separated.   I remember my mom going to Mr. Gadd and explaining that there were some issues at home.   That she'd be watching closely for behavior changes.    After my mom had this talk with him things changed.   He stopped giving me as much attention.   Now I would have thought that he would have jumped at the chance (my thinking now as an adult) all of my behavior could have been explained away by their separation.  I am now so grateful for that conversation between my mom and my teacher.   I don't know if I would have fallen victim.  If my loud mouthed personality would have kept me safe.   I'll never know.

My friend Karissa wasn't so lucky.    I remember seeing her perched on top of his shoulders at recess.   My arms extended up....I wanted a turn so badly.    He was a giant.   He would dismiss me along with all of the other kids trying to climb him.    I remember the recess when he offered to put her up and she said no and I thought, "what the hell.....he's offering to put you on his shoulders and you aren't JUMPING at the chance" He kept pushing the issue.  Kept trying.   I stood there dumbfounded like....dude. she doesn't want to. put me up there.
I also remember later her quietly asking me with concern in her voice, "Does Mr. Gadd ever act like....more than a teacher to you ?"   I jealously replied, very short, "you mean like a grandpa ?"
She said, "no, not like a grandpa.  but not like a teacher."
I said, "no" and that was the end of that.

Now I don't know that he did touch her.  Knowing his reputation and what, "more like a teacher" means to me now as an adult, I have a hard time not assuming that something happened.
I just wish that I would have continued that conversation with her.   That I would have been more mature and known more.    I wish she would have said that to an adult.

That sick bastard is dead.   and his obituary is this glowing review of his life.   How many lives did he ruin and all the while he was spending time with his grandchildren and his many church callings.
I'm not sure where the system failed.....but it certainly did in this case.

Cool things Thursday

What the hell kind of person would I be to not share this with you.
THIS.  HAS TO BE.  HANDS DOWN.  THE COOLEST THING I'VE SEEN.  for at least 2 weeks.
Seriously.
http://www.childsown.com/

This company makes stuffed animals/dolls to match your childrens drawings.
Here are a couple of examples to show you what I mean.   Incase you didn't trust that what I just said, the coolest thing ever part, is really the COOLEST THING EVER !

Prices range from $90-$140.00.   But oh my hell how cool to have something your child draws come to life like this.  
Just loved this and had to share.

It's a girl and we'll call her Lilly !

I did it.   It's all on me.
Well, my wife did forward me the link to the pictures as an enticer.  (admitting that she knew I'd want her)   but it was I who called the lady and set up a meeting 1.5 hrs later (the lady lives coincidentally 6 minutes from me)....and I didn't even tell J.   I called her and told her that I bought one and then admitted not buying her but explained that I was in fact standing in a walmart parking lot and that I HAD to have her. because J....she's so freaking cute you could just die.  I love her.
WTF !
I didn't want another dog for a year.   Just one summer of no poop.   and then figured at that point we'd see how we even felt about it.
I didn't want to have to worry about a dog when traveling.
(sigh)

And then I saw her face.
and oh my goodness this face.

and yes.....she's this cute

and she's this cute when she sleeps

She's a spaniel mix.   Her mom is a cocker spaniel and her dad is a cavalier king charles spaniel.  and that made her the cutest little spaniel I ever saw in my LIFE !
She's all of 8 weeks old and the size of a water bottle.  She's just teeny.
As I left J's work after showing off our new puppy, I turned on Lady and the Tramp so the kids could see what Lilly will look like when she's bigger.   As I entered the freeway my stomach turned over a little and with the idea of taking on a new puppy a bit of buyers remorse set in.     I have to keep looking at that face to help me get through a full on anxiety attack because really people......what the fuck.  and also OH my hell.

Losing that baby weight

After the birth of Emeli.....I was really hoping to drop a couple of extra pounds.  You know...all of that baby weight.  but I mean...come on...my uterus should have weighed something.

I remember my doctor saying, "hormonally nothing will change.  You still have that one ovary that will continue to deliver your body with hormones."
What I heard was, "everything you complain about seems to be coming from hormones that have been regulated by your girlie parts for your whole life.....SHIRLEY (surely) ripping it out will leave you with less of those raging hormones which will then leave you with a renewed love of life, energy and the ability to drop weight like a 21 year old"
You know what.   Doctors know their shit.   I mean, I suppose that's why they make the big bucks, yeah ?
So fuck it, it didn't turn out like I had hoped.   I still have the hormonal "situation" every month.   No bleeding which is lovely....although it's harder for me to pinpoint the exact timing without that bloody flag and I'm too lazy to track it (so far) so I just feel edgy and then chalk it up to PMS.
There does seem to be some changes.   I can't necessarily blame it on the surgery or lack of surgery.   Maybe the timing of it just sucked but it seems like and it feels like (in my pants for sure) that everything that I eat goes right to my butt.   and my stomach and my hips, legs, arms, face.   I seem to be collecting fat near the knuckles of my fingers and collectively around my ankles and around the tendons in my wrists.
CLEARLY it has to do with what I'm eating.  and how much I'm eating.   but before.  BEFORE. I could cut down a little and exercise and bam.....I'd be back where I was.  (small cries beginning to escape)  It's not so much happening anymore.
I just.  just.  I just can't face the fact that I'm getting older and that my 20's and hell....even my early 30's are gone.
I've heard SO many women tell me...."just  you wait.  just wait until you get older"   seriously.
Every time I'd sunbathe and bronzed my skin to perfection "just you wait"    and I always thought they were bitter old ladies who had mostly white, brown spotty skin with freckles and moles and that's why they said it....and FUCK PEOPLE that's what I have now.  (full on sobs)
As I was the first to grab the bread at dinner and slather it in butter....my 40 year old friend sitting to my right grabbing her water and passing on the bread would say to me "just you wait"   (aaaaah haaa haaaa)
I waited.  and it's here.  and I wasn't ready for it to come so fast.
So here I am with 20 + lbs to lose.   I'd be happy with 10.   I have this vast love of treats and all things bad for me and what seems to be an impervious willpower.
I'm trying REALLY REALLY hard to grab the water instead of the bread people.  and it's hard.  it's so so hard.

I think Janeane Garafalo says it best.  It's just this simple.  only super hard.  I need OA.

Entirely her

To balance out all those cute pictures of her sweet smiling face....here are the pictures in between.   They capture her personality to a T and I love them all.

Sydney

It all started with a pair of boots.
I had this idea for Sydney's 9 year pictures to be in combat boots and a floofy dress.   You know that contrasting style look.  urban.  fun.
I put it together, grabbed my friend and her camera and we headed downtown.
Syd was such a good sport.  Thank goodness I have my 1 girl to do this to...I don't really see my boys as willing participants so much !
Here are a few of my favorites.   A few out of the 91 I still have on my computer mind you :)
I think they turned out great.  I love that we were able to capture her personality in so many of them.
It's like Cyndi Lauper hit SLC.  What ?  that's the look I was going for :) ha ha

(To achieve pictures like this you need.....lighting.   We went at 6:30 pm to get the good light.   A good eye.  My neighbor has a great eye.   A dream, that's where I come in.   A good camera.   Lightroom to edit.  oh and lets not forget.  The MOST beautiful child.   and a mom who isn't at all biased)

Now, tell me which one(s) is your favorite ?

Heterophobia

Not an original idea.....but powerful still the same.
Click here to watch video

This was being posted on Facebook yesterday.    I loved the message and thought that I'd share it with you here.  I know that we are leaning towards progress, but there are still so many times that I feel like we take 1 step forward and 3 steps back.   This open letter gives me hope in the generations to come that we are in fact willing to move forward.


Church,

I got to go to the Macklemore concert on Friday night. If you want to hear about how that went, ask me, seriously, I want to talk about it until I die. The whole thing was great; but the best part was when Macklemore sang “Same Love.” Augustana’s gym was filled to the ceiling with 5,000 people, mostly aged 18-25, and decked out in thrift store gear (American flag bro-tanks, neon Nikes, MC Hammer pants. My Cowboy boyfriend wore Cowboy boots…not ironically….). The arena was brimming with excitement and adrenaline during every song, but when he started to play “Same Love,” the place about collapsed. Why? While the song is popular everywhere, no one, maybe not even Macklemore, feels its true tension like we do in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. If you’re not familiar, here’s the song:

Stop–did you watch it? Watch it.

 Before the song, Macklemore spoke really simple words along the lines of: “Hey, you can all have your own opinions on how we treat gay people in this country, but this is mine.” And I held my breath in anticipation of some kind of uproar or walk-out…but the crowd cheered louder than they had yet. In our red state, in our conservative little city, the 5,000 young people in that arena wanted to hear about marriage equality.

During the song, almost every person at the concert had their hands up and their eyes closed…it reminded me of church. The whole crowd spoke every word with Macklemore. We were thirsty for those words. We want to hear about equality and love in a gentle way. We’re sick of the harsh words of both sides. Say what you want about my generation, but we can smell fake from a mile away. This rapper from Seattle had brought us truth in song form, and we all knew it. I live in such a conservative bubble that I couldn’t believe the crowd’s positive, thankful reaction. But I shouldn’t have been surprised. No one knows the tension of that song like my generation in South Dakota does. So many of us were brought up in churches and Christian homes, and even if we weren’t, we’ve experienced the traditional Christian culture that just resonates from South Dakota’s prairie land. We know conservatism; we know tradition. But we also have Twitter, we watch SNL, we listen to Macklemore, and we read Tina Fey. We’re more in touch with the rest of the country than the Midwest has ever been. Some of us love the church and some of us hate it, but there aren’t too many people for whom it’s irrelevant. So when Macklemore takes on that tension with his poetry, his South Dakota audience listened. We practically yelled with him when he spoke the lyrics:

“When I was at church, they taught me something else: if you preach hate at the service, those words aren’t anointed. That holy water that you soak in has been poisoned.”

 We yelled because we knew that holy water too well. We knew that hateful preaching too well. We had all been hurt by it in one way or another.


My point in writing this isn’t to protect gay people. Things are changing—the world is becoming a safer place for my gay friends. They’re going to get equal rights. I’m writing this because I’m worried about the safety of the Church. The Church keeps scratching its head, wondering why 70% of 23-30 year-olds who were brought up in church leave. I’m going to offer a pretty candid answer, and it’s going to make some people upset, but I care about the Church too much to be quiet. We’re scared of change. We always have been. When scientists proposed that the Earth could be moving through space, church bishops condemned the teaching, citing Psalm 104:5 to say that God “set the earth on its foundations; it can never be moved.” But the scientific theory continued, and the Church still exists. I’m saying this: we cannot keep pitting the church against humanity, or progress. DON’T hear me saying that we can’t fight culture on anything. Lots of things in culture are absolutely contradictory to love and equality, and we should be battling those things. The way culture treats women, or pornography? Get AT that, church. I’ll be right there with you. But my generation, the generation that can smell bullshit, especially holy bullshit, from a mile away, will not stick around to see the church fight gay marriage against our better judgment. It’s my generation who is overwhelmingly supporting marriage equality, and Church, as a young person and as a theologian, it is not in your best interest to give them that ultimatum.

My whole life, I’ve been told again and again that Christianity is not conducive with homosexuality. It just doesn’t work out. I was forced to choose between the love I had for my gay friends and so-called biblical authority. I chose gay people, and I’m willing to wager I’m not the only one. I said, “If the Bible really says this about gay people, I’m not too keen on trusting what it says about God.” And I left my church. It has only been lately that I have seen evidence that the Bible could be saying something completely different about love and equality.

So, my advice to you, the Church: if you’re looking for some intelligent biblical liberal opinions on the subject, have a little coffee chat with your local Methodist or Episcopal pastor. Christians can be all about gay people, it’s possible. People do it every day with a clear biblical conscience. Find out if you think there’s truth in that view before you sweep us under the rug. You CAN have a conservative view on gay marriage, or gay ordination. You can. But I want you to have some serious conversations with God, your friends that disagree with you, and maybe even some gay people, Christians or not, before you decide that this one view is worth marginalizing my generation. Weigh those politics against what you’re giving up: us. We want to stay in your churches, we want to hear about your Jesus, but it’s hard to hear about love from a God who doesn’t love our gay friends (and we all have gay friends). Help us find love in the church before we look for it outside.

Oh, and can we please please PLEASE stop changing our Facebook profile pictures to crosses in a protest against gay marriage? You are taking a symbol of hope and redemption and using it to make a political point. No matter what you think, that has to stop. It’s a misrepresentation of what that symbol means.

Love,

A College Kid Who Misses You

The damage is done.

Without a wife and a microwave.
Good lord I don't know what's been worse.  

I think I'm finally starting to crack under the pressure of it all.  
Tonight, a night following a day that started in hell and continued down.   My boys were all in getting ready for bed.   Or were supposed to be getting ready for bed.    The big boys were already in their rooms for bad behavior and the littles weren't helping the situation.
My patience were gone.   The last straw was pulled before dinner and my boiling point hit about the time I put the big boys in time out.
I was helping Syd with her homework in her room.   (she too was put in her room along with the big boys)  I was calm.   I was treading until bedtime ....and then I heard them......potty talking.   Not just poop fart burp talk....the boys body part talk.  The talk that I've repeatedly stifled.     The reminding and coaching that I've tried to do.   I just couldn't take it.
I walked down the hall, grabbed the one little who had his naked toosh pressed against the glass door to their bedroom at the urging of his brothers on the other side.  All of them laughing hysterically.  I pulled him away and slapped his toosh.
I then followed it up by walking in their room and slapped the toosh and faces of the other 3.    They all crumpled to the ground crying.    I yelled.   I yelled that I'd had it.   That I wasn't playing anymore.   That this had to stop, that this kind of behavior was not acceptable.   I told them to get their pajamas on and I walked out of their room.

I went to the kitchen and listened to their cries.   I grabbed the phone and called J who was still at work, who I won't see tonight until at least 11'oclock.    I told her what I'd done.   She could hear them screaming in the background and the stress in my voice.   She understood and talking to her was my 10 second calm down period that I should have taken 2 minutes before.

While still on the phone with J, Ryan came in the kitchen.   He had no idea who I was on the phone with.   He wasn't crying and with bright eyes and excitement in his voice he said, "I have a good idea mom.  Maybe you could take turns with mommy J"
(insert knife)
I answered him, "It would be a good idea to take turns with Mommy J huh buddy.  So that when I'm mad she could come in here and when she's mad I can come in ?"   He was so proud that I understood and agreed with a, "YEAH !"

I of course took the opportunity to make it a learning process....set an example.   It's ok to get angry.  We all do it...even mom...it's how you handle it afterwards that matters most.  blah blah blah.
I told them all how sorry I was for exploding.   That I was so frustrated and that I didn't feel like they had been listening and that I just lost it.    I told them that I shouldn't ever hit.   That I was sorry for hurting them.   That I was sorry for not taking a minute to compose myself.    I then of course reinforced that the behavior with their private parts needed to stop.    Having 2 brothers and knowing lots of other moms with boys older than my own.....I know that exposing themselves and shaking their groove things at each other might not stop altogether.  but maybe.  just maybe it will cause for a bit of hesitation next time.

The boys and I cuddled on the couch over books.  Their little bodies forgave me as they nestled in on my lap and shoulders.   Their eyes still a bit red from crying.   Cam still had a bit of red on his cheek where I got him.
I don't forgive myself.    The damage is done.    I will of course blame my actions the next time they handle a situation the same way I handled myself tonight.

To end on a lighter note.  I saw this on facebook today.   I couldn't have said it better myself.

Now to remind myself.   Tomorrow is a new day !  

What a pinteresting teacher appreciation gift that was.

What would I do without blogland.    I love it.   I love getting to know people and reading up on what's new in their lives and families.    Searching for the pieces to the puzzles of parenting and wifing and household running.   I also love blog jumping and finding lots of fun projects and gift ideas.

I found this post through a blog through a blog through a blog.   You can get LOST in this place.    

I immediately knew that it was something that I had to do.    I missed the window of opportunity last year and sadly I haven't felt the overwhelming desire to do it for Syd's teacher this year.   Lucky for me though I love the big boys kindergarten teacher and didn't have to wait another year.

Like everything else though....I had NO IDEA where I had seen the original post.   Thanks to pinterest search engine and a few clicks I found the original blog. 

      

I knew that it would be a little pricey and so I offered to share the task with a couple of the boys friends moms from their class.   After purchasing all of the supplies though I had only spent $38.00.    I would have been willing to spend $20.00 per child on their teacher and could have done it alone.   but alas....the invitation was already extended so we added a gift card for a pedicure and called it a day.

Both moms came over to help put it together this morning so that we could deliver it when school got out.

I did see some other supply cakes on pinterest and wasn't as happy with the way they looked....so I stayed pretty close to the original recipe.     

supplies

building.
I bought the designed nesting boxes.  They were only 1.00 more than the plain cardboard looking ones and we didn't have to paint or wrap them.    Plus they were cute enough that they'll be used after it's taken apart.

All done.
I wish I would have taken a picture without the gift card stuck in it....it takes away from the final  product.
Not bad for 15.00 a kid !  (think if you only had 1 kid :)

We put little notes and drawings from the boys in one of the boxes.   

We had talked about filling them with other school supplies...hand sanitizers, markers, stickers etc...but in the end decided the pedicure would be nice too.   What do you think ?   Any great ideas for next year ?  For older kids teachers ?

Why do I love you.....

let me count the ways !

1- because you wore these snow goggles while riding your big wheel up and down the street yesterday.
2- because you kept them on while playing in the backyard by yourself in the sandbox.  happily.  for nearly 30 minutes.
3- both of which obligated me to give you a bath and through it all, you kept the goggles on.
and  4- because that sweet face melts my heart.

Teefless Tuesday

Tuesdays BIG tips

Laundry -   Dingy whites ?  Yellowy or grayish ?  wanna know how to make them look super white again.
White Brite.    It's a powder you add to your washing machine water.   I was a bleach WHORE and now I use nothing but my soap and this stuff when washing my whites.   It really does work.  It  stinks like hell when you put it in....but don't worry....your clothes don't come out smelling like it.
(please know that this blog is my own little place to rant and speak my mind.   It is not a means of advertising for ANYONE...I receive nothing for it...other than knowing that someone out there might take my advice and have whiter laundry :)

I'm not sure why I care that the worlds whites are whiter.  It just makes me happy to share)
There are other forms of brighteners.  I've tried a couple.  One was a blue liquid that I diluted with water and added to my whites.   But honestly this works the best.

Eyelash curlers -  I went on vacation with my aunt.   She had this electric eyelash curler that heated up and then she'd curl her lashes making them super curly.    I tried it once and didn't really love it.  I don't need the extra oomph.   Wanna know what though ? you can do the same thing with the eyelash curler that you have.   Just put your hairdryer on it for a few seconds and it will do the same thing.   Go figure.  No batteries required.  :)

Counting to 10 -  A time out for parents.   Sometimes counting to ten doesn't cut it.   Especially if your children are of the devil and there is 5 of them.
Take your counting to a different room in the house.   Preferably a place where you can lay down.   Tell your children you are in time out.  1 minute for every year.  Depending on the need for time out you may need to set up your quiet time area.   Make sure to stock it up with chocolate and even alcohol.

Deciding what is right and wrong - If you struggle deciding between right and wrong.....bombarded with information from religious leaders, politicians, ancestors and now fast food and clothing stores.    Just remember this.   I'm right.  The end.
Please also take into consideration history.   Gays in scouts ?  NO WAY !  because history shows us how bad they will fuck it up for everyone.    Lets continue letting the straight 1st counselor who is married with kids share tents with little boys.  Because history shows us time and time again...that it's THAT guy abusing your kids.   Religion can compare the sin of homosexuality to the sin of pedophilia....but being gay doesn't make you a pedophile.   They compare the sin and I feel like people assume that they are one and the same.
Since don't ask don't tell has been eradicated there hasn't been an outpouring of sex in the bunkers.   And also.   I'm pretty sure that the reason most people are scared to allow gays in scouting is because they feel threatened by the gayest coolest derby cars ever.
Fact is.  your kids are going to deal with gay people in their lifetime.   They will be around them at school.  luckily they haven't banned gays from public schools.   Please know that hanging around a gay person doesn't make one gay.   Just like hanging around a black person doesn't make you black.   Although it seems that hanging around assholes can make you an asshole so be careful.    If your child is gay.  (S)he is GAY !   1 out of every 10 people is gay (homo, bi, trans)  You do the math.    Whether or not you want to accept and love your child for who they are is up to you......or you can continue to teach your child that what they were born as is a sin and that the only way to deal with it is to suppress those feelings and be someone that a declining group of people think they should be.  

This video -because it's hilarious.  and because although making a complete joke of the situation.  it hits the nail right on the head :)



 Life - Is life fair ? no.  long answer.  nooooooooo.

Marriage - Will gay marriage ruin straight marriage.   It might.   I hear the gays put on some FABULOUS weddings.   WATCH OUT !
They won't just be doing your hair, make up and wedding dress designs....they're gonna be wrapping street corners in tulle celebrating their very own.   And guess what else.   They will settle down and plant flowers and continue paying their taxes and talking about their days over meals in front of NCIS and American Idol.  They'll fight and laugh and poop in front of each other.   They'll bitch about snoring and not replacing the toilet paper roll and leaving wet towels conveniently on your side of the bed.    I know it's scary.   I know it feels unheard of right now.  and when you think it's too much.   GET OVER YOURSELF !

Gummy Bear

This is for all of my peeps who have not yet been introduced to the Gummy Bear song. (and those who just had a conversation with me about it)
The Most annoying and absolutely addictive song.   My kids plead, "play it again mama, play it again"
I hesitantly agree and repeat, "last time" while pushing that damn repeat C looking arrow at the bottom of the screen.  I sit with my head bobbing back and forth and make that damn pop sound with my mouth. (you'll understand when you hear it)

I find the strange little facial fuzz on the gummy bear a bit creepy and yet it's safe to show your kids.   I will warn you that there is a part where he shakes his booty and 1/2 of it is sticking out of the top of his underwear.   Each and every time my kids see his tooshy they sing in sync "EEEEWWWW" and laugh hysterically.



This one is just a bonus. Sydney introduced this to the boys and once again. big hit. There are 3 parts to the duck song, my kids seem to like 2 the best.  I do believe that a 3rd grader wrote and animated it which explains why they think it's so great.



Here's hoping your kids think these songs are boring and not at all worthy of a replay.  :)  (not my plan at all)

All the single ladies...all the single ladies....

Now put your hands up.
oh oh oh oh uh oh huh hu hu haaa aaaaaaaaaah hu hu hu aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

I've been a single mom for over a month now.  practically.  that's how it feels to me anyway.  and it's how I feel that counts.  ;-)
If my wife isn't getting home at 10-11 pm....she's traveling out of town.   Today she's in Denver.   The night before last she got home at 11:30 pm.  
In fact last night was the first night she has been home to sit down with the family for dinner in weeks.   It was so nice.   I invited her to join me for a movie after WE got the kids to bed.   so glorious.  we laid on the bed and even held hands a couple of times.
(we watched Breaking Dawn 2, finally.  I will admit it was the best of the series but still)

Funny story -  about 1 week into this new schedule I decided to face time her.    When her face appeared in the tiny screen I asked her how it was going.    She said fine and so I casually asked her to show me her office.  you know.  just to make sure she was in fact where she said she was.   she did.  I then asked her to show me under her desk.  you know.  just to make sure she was alone.  she did.  and she was :)  
We both laughed out loud and I silently breathed a sigh of relief.  
I suppose that if I didn't know every detail about the reports and computers and numbers and struggles and all that it entails from our brief conversations that we do make time for,  I would wonder why she's spending so much time at the office.

I don't know how so many of you do it.   Mad props to you.

In other news.   Nathan's eating has become a problem.   and by problem I mean that there are no hours in the day that J can work a second job to pay for his eating habits.  
Yesterday he ate 3 ham sandwiches for lunch.  THREE.  a handful of crackers and a granola bar.   He snacked on crackers and bananas between meals and then had 2 helpings of lasagna for dinner. french bread. 2 glasses of milk and 2 pieces of cake.  (leftover from Syd's birthday)
SERIOUSLY !  
He woke up this morning starving...which isn't like him to want to eat first thing.
He's 4.  
I do remember my mom making us 2-4 cheese sandwiches each when we were growing up.
I think my brothers record was 12 pieces of french toast in one helping.    We were under the age of 10.
My family still laughs about the time my brother and his friend went to the local buffet after football practice  for an early lunch and stayed through dinner.   They just kept eating.  They were finally asked to leave.

ha ha


I don't share a lot about my extended family here.  I guess I feel it must be consensual and since they don't know about this blog....I must resist.
This picture is an exception however as it needed to be shared to highlight the early 90's.
I had grown out of the big permed hair....apparently however wings of love were hard to give up (??  WTH)
I kept the same giant size do....just cut the length.   I was 18 here.
And what's with my older brothers pegged pants with socks and sandals.   I know that this is fully acceptable with the islanders who have moved to our cold weather Utah.   but as you can clearly see by the green grass....it was spring if not summer.   My little  brother was in the throws of his football career, with a neck the size of his head.  "put me in coach"
aaaw.   Awkward family photo's are the best.

How was that for yet another addition to my random postings ?   One day I'll get my head clear and will actually post something that maybe has some normal rhythm to it and is somewhat enjoyable to read.
Bear with me.
Oh and just because this post is already lost in random land.  that reminded me.  we use a navigational tool while traveling.   We've named her Marguerite......and while directing us she will say, "bear right.  or bear left" and each time she'd say it I would repeat, "bear down"   It never gets old.  although typing it makes me wonder how it might be annoying to my wife.   I'll have to ask her.  when I see her.
Nate wants more lunch. gotta run.