Today was orientation for Syd's new preschool.
Miss Angela had 3 tables set up with different activities. Syd chose books and quickly found me in the living room and sat on my lap while I read to her.
She warmed up and went to join the other kids at the tables. Choosing the blocks. The block table which of course was the only table at this point occupied by a little girl and her sister.
Syd took her blocks (not really, but up to this point the WHOLE table was the other little girls) It's the way that Syd looked at her. Like I'm taking this...back off.
I immediately removed her from the table, much less drama than I thought. She moved to NOT the table that I tried to steer her attention to (of course), but to the 3rd table with books.
My little girl is aggressive. She uses loud words and physical actions to handle situations. Sydney has not learned the use of physical force by example....but by the way I am made to feel you would think that I had a rule book and coached her.
I understand when it is your child that is being mistreated....how defensive you get. I have been there. But when the woman who's little girl was getting her blocks taken away from MY daughter looked up at me......the feelings of blame burned through me and slapped every ounce of parental pride I had mustered up since the last "
situation".
I have put this child in time out. I have redirected. I have followed through. On a whole I think that she is trying. I think she makes the right decisions a lot of the time. It's that 1 time. That is the time I feel as if all of my efforts as a mother have been stamped on. Have been picked apart and judged.
I'm doing it wrong. It's MY fault she acts this way.
Just so it be known. I don't like the behavior and wish it would stop.
I talked to my mom about it this weekend. I was so flustered and needed a wiser, experienced opinion from someone who wouldn't judge Sydney for what I was telling her. For someone who loves her as much as I do and KNOWS the sweet little girl that I know. She laughed. She said that it was me. :) Not until much older....but she said that my best friend Anna would go home crying all of the time.
I've been thinking about this since that conversation. I remember being the strong minded, my way or the highway kind of a person. I remember going over to Anna's house and telling her that I was sorry and that I wanted to play with her again.
I wasn't physical with her....but I do remember beating up the bullies in school. (all boys, surprisingly....what can I say...I was raised with brothers...I knew how to fight)
I also remember loving Anna as much as ANY one person could love another person as the bestest friend ever. We were best friends after she moved away to Las Vegas clear up and until she went on a Mission :)
Sydney is extremely precocious. She LOVES babies. She is soft and sweet. She is expressive and dramatic. She is sharing and forgiving. She is strong and growing and learning new things every day. She is funny as hell. She has the biggest heart and is filled with the most love of any one kid I know.
She is loved completely. She is loved for the good, the bad, and all of the middle parts too.
I believe that all of these qualities that she holds are the makings of a great person. I believe that every kid is different and that one set of rules is not the way to handle ALL children.
I believe that we all want our children to love and be loved and I believe that we want our efforts as parents not to go unnoticed.
The next time you see a kid throwing a huge tantrum, or crying uncontrollably, or the next time your kid gets pushed......please don't judge the parents...smile, because most likely, you will be smiling at me :)
