I am a Lobbyist

I went up the hill to the Capitol today. A few of us went with our children (yes all 3 of mine) one with pictures.
We went to meet with some of the representatives to bring our bill out of rules.

We may be a dollar late and a day short this session....but I can now say that I am a Lobbyist. DAMN I wish that fit on a license plate. I always wanted to be a litigator so that I could have a license plate number that said "litig8r" :) ha ha

I had a comment in a newspaper published and a letter published in another one.
I finished up a short clip video about the rally on the 13th and SHIT I am TIRED.
I feel like I've been fighting this bill for years.
I'm all over the place baby.

(HUGE SMILE) so sarcastic...so fucking funny...I crack myself up.

Seriously though. I'm in this to win. Utah needs to change it's laws to serve and protect the rights of EVERYONE.
Even if this bill isn't pushed this session. It just gives us another year to prepare and take them down.
W-H-E-N the laws in Utah change. I will feel SOOOO good knowing that I had a part in it. My children can be proud to know that their mommies fought for them.
Sydney was on the phone with her grandma today and told her that we went to the HUGEST most GINORMOUS building EVER and that there was a statue.
When my mom asked her where she went she told her that she was at the Capitol and that she was a lobbyist with a button.
FUNNY THING my mom didn't mention ANY of the conversation when I finally got the phone :) ha ha ha ha
oooh don't ask don't tell.....hear no evil speak no evil.

Edwards is out. NOW WHO DO I VOTE FOR !
I'm very sad.

Please go read An Accident of Hope's blog.
You can help us with our 2nd parent adoption in Utah.

Happy happy happy happy happy anniversary. happy happy happy happy happy anniversary.
1 year blogging. 1 year and I just opened an account with blog.lines :) I'm a little slow.

10 weeks. my floating babies look like perfect little people finally.

1 week of no blood. YEAH !

10 days until our friends and family come to see us. SO SUPER EXCITED ! (chanting, I won't be sick, I will feel well and rested the entire time they're here...herrrrreee....heeeeeerrrrreeee...)

4 days until my first OB appointment.

2 hours until my children sleep and give me AT LEAST 2 hours of uninterrupted me time.



9 1/2 weeks people. GOOD NIGHT NURSE.
I know people will say...PULEEEAAASE, you have this little bump.
But I must add...MOST people don't have these "little bumps" until well in to their 4th month.
blah blah blah...but it's twins. I know. It just blows my mind that I look 4 months pregnant.
You see I KNOOOOOW how big you get with twins. I'm in COMPLETE DENIAL.
yes. still.
I am NOT however in denial about the size of my breasts. that's it. that's as big as they're getting. whatever !
small breasted women can only look forward to pregnancy to get just a small TASTE at having boobs. I won't get that that chance. (sigh)

I don't want to talk about the L-word. I'm still upset.
again...DENIAL !

I have to post....

I have to post and only because pulling my blog up and looking at that hairy leg is taking it's toll. I can't take it any longer :)

What to say what to say ?????

ok....Sydney.
Sydney has been having us act out scenes from Pollyanna.
We fight over who gets to be Pollyanna and who has to be Mrs. Snow.
I have to say as sweet as she does Pollyanna...to hear her say..."come here, come right over here....you have a stubby little nose..what do you think about that?" in this little old lady voice all while grabbing my cheeks and turning my head sideways as if she's sizing up my nose, is HILARIOUS !
My goal is to capture this on video. If I can I will post it.

I stubbed my toe in the bathroom on the way to the toilet. Syd had finished and was washing her hands.
I whined and winced and wasn't holding back the pain at all.
Sydney jumped down from the stool and knelt down by my foot. "mama is there blood?"
"no" still trying to get over the throbbing pain.
"where does it hurt ?"
I bent over taking a better look and pointed to the toe with the layers of skin peeled back.
Sydney stands up, "oh, that is going to make me sick, that is going to make me puke."

Pain COMPLETELY gone. laughing hysterically at her. B.ayer naaaah, Ibupr0fin who needs it, Tylen0l...WHY ? I've got the best pain relief in the form of an adorable 3 year old.

The GROSSEST THING EVER (echo ever, ever, ever)**updated**

For those of you who have an easy gag reflex, well...I'm sorry !
It's probably too late and you've already glanced at the picture.
Yes people. this is my leg. I've been working on this, unlike most pubescent boys, for ONLY 3 weeks.
Can you believe what a great amount of hair I can produce...oh and not all soft and light. No this is coarse, m-a-n hair. (look at it almost curling already)
I could give my brothers a run for their money.
You'd think I was Greek for hell sakes ;) ha ha ha

J has been SICKENED by this. not just a little sick either, but I can't look at them, get them away from me, I'm going to lose my dinner sick.

I'm having my 2000 parts waxed today. I hope I remember my camera so that I can take a picture of the material with all of my hair and its follicles on it. It's AMAZING to me.
It also hurts like a bitch.
Especially that strip of skin right at the panty line....between your pubic bone and your leg. You might as well be cutting my left big thumb toe off, that's how bad it hurts. and right around the ankle. aaaaaaah.

I know there are those women who choose to be all natural....that is TOTALLY ok with me. I'm just not one of those women. I want it all off. I don't want to worry about shaving for appointments. instruments getting all caught up on the way in if you will :)

oh the pain. the pain. the pain comes tonight.

****updated****
You people and your eyebrow waxing. you have NO FREAKING CLUE. none whatsoever to the pain of a leg and Brazilian wax. For the love of all that's holy.
Ankles are the worst. and then there is the bikini area.
This girl is goooood. she is fast. that is good. but she perfected my triangle and THAT I WON'T HAVE !
For those who are wondering and for those who consider it too much information. :)
I've only done the Brazilian 3 times in my life. For the Brazilian you get on all 4's and drop to your elbows...buttocks exp0sed and sticking STRAIGHT up in the air. oh yes you do. wax is applied to every crevice that holds hair, covered with material, and R E M O V E D . (when I say removed I mean ripped from the very depths of your inner cell make up)
The view they hold is much worse than any doctor might, I can only imagine.
I don't know her last name and leaving my money on the table made me feel dirty and used.
Here are a few pictures. The one is horribly blurry of my leg. but it shows the little dots where the blood RUSHES to the surface to try and heal the wounds left by that DAMN HOT WAX !
Tomorrow...after the blood leaves and returns to my barely beating heart....it's gonna look GOOOOOD !



bless my heart !

The loss of the dream of a friend.....

It's true...me and Bette can never be friends. I however CAN be friends with Jody and all of her camping buddies. What was that all about any ways. I didn't think that I would ever find myself not liking her. hmm. at least there wasn't a lot of Jenny crap schmack...and then there was a lot of blah blah blah in the middle.
oh and then a surprise and real storyline that I seem to like and can follow...Tasha. yummy
WAIT. what does "family style" mean. Mrs. Peabody..you nasty ol lady :)

No blood for 3 days. and then I went with friends to a local jump house on Saturday and walked around chasing and lifting my children and then there was some spotting Sunday...but then there wasn't and now 2 more days with no blood.
Weeks of bleeding and could it be over ? PLEEEEEEAAAAAASE can it be over.
***update*** 12noon blood !!!! GAW !

I called my mom the next day after breaking the news to her. I decided that I should be the bigger person because after all, I was the one to drop the bomb in her world. She was a little better but still all church voicy and soft spoken at times.
I came to a conclusion. I have no regrets, and I'm not sorry.
She called on Sunday and I wouldn't talk to her. I didn't want her to take me back in to the guilt that I knew only she could. J talked to her and said she was fine....my mom talked like nothing had been said.
She didn't call yesterday. We'll see.

I have this hideous secret to disclose...:) that's tomorrow though. (oooh I can't wait...it's so gross)

and in other and very important news...did you see that my floating babies look less like tadpoles lately ! :)

It's over. I did it.

I don't feel better...or relieved....in fact I feel very unsettled and like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop or something.
I called her on the phone and just said it. "MOM, I have something to tell you.
I'm pregnant. do you want more. it's twins."
She was immediately worried about Sydney. She asked what I was doing. you know, to herself, she didn't wait for or really want a response.
She did ask me about the bleeding, how far along I was, who knew, how I was feeling, if I had seen my doctor, where I was going to put everyone.
She then said she had to go. it was in a, WOW this was a lot to choke down, I need to catch my breath kind of go. I asked her if she'd be calling my dad first and she said yes. I said, please give it to him in pieces. She said, ok. bye.
It wasn't a "happy" call. or a "congratulatory" kind of conversation. we knew it wouldn't be.
I'm certain she'll come around. like she does to ALL of my little life altering predicaments I get myself in to.

It's done though right ? I mean....she knows now.
Now I just need to get over it.

WHY DO I GIVE HER SO MUCH CONTROL....I swear I will never do this to my kids :)

Something I don't give her control over is my subconscious mind.
There is a tile in my bathroom that looks JUST LIKE a little kid with a bandaid over one eye smiling at me.
When I start talking to him that's when I know it's time for an intervention.






Oh and what do you make of this little scene on my piano ? veddy intadesting.

Food aversions 101

It seems that everything I look at. I eat.
Not exactly what I meant to say.
What I mean is....if we drive passed (hold on...I need to get myself together...even SAYING it makes me sick) McD's I mentally eat a hamburger. It makes me so SICK. Thinking or driving passed any fast food establishment causes me to start my Lamaze breathing techniques and sends my eyes to the dashboard for a safe retreat. Strip malls can cause my mouth to salivate and my tongue to get thick. I can't eat fast food or even look or say the names....uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh.
Same goes for food in my fridge or in my sink. I had been avoiding the kids mac and cheese from lunch yesterday, all night. I can't clean it up because it makes me sick...yet every time I go in the kitchen for anything I see it, then mentally eat it, and then I get all gaggy.
(if you knew how hard this was for me to talk about....I'm so sick right now)

I was able to(dun, dun, da, daaaa) FINALLY throw away the remaining cheesecake in my fridge leftover from Sunday. OH MY GAGGING.
It has haunted me. I've been avoiding the second shelf of my fridge for 4 days...FOUR DAYS.
I ate breakfast and without any eye contact was able to pull it from the shelf and dump it in the garbage can.

Raw meats make me sick.

Tuna fish sandwiches make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Something that makes me sick today could sound perfectly delightful tomorrow and visa versa. but I have to mentally eat it to see if it will make me sick.
So I sit and eat stuff in my head and gag until I finally don't gag and then I know that THAT is what I'm eating for breakfast/lunch/dinner.
This is AWFUL !

grocery list : tuna fish. (we're out) FABULOUS !


To help get our minds off of the yuck, here's some love !

18 months

Spencer (baby A)
Height 34 1/4 90%
Weight 24 lbs 15 oz 35 %
Head 49 80%

Cameron (baby B)
Height 34 1/2 95%
Weight 26 lbs 9oz 60%
Head 49 80%

Very much the same except for weight and I've gotta tell you that it's only been the last 2 weeks that Spencer has decided to eat.

They are both ok as far as words. Spencer just passed :) whew !
Interesting, they both surpass the physical challenges. Everything that they should be doing by 2...they already do...including that jumping with 2 feet off the floor ? I was not aware of that.
Walking up the stairs. (hell they can already walk down the stairs) sitting on a scooter and pushing themselves forward with their feet. I can't remember the other things. any ways...she just checked them all off.
They should say 50 words and be making 2 word sentences by 2. Lets see if my little jocks can do that.

I tried to get video of them jumping. I also tried to catch them loving on each other which is THE CUTEST thing EVER !!! nada. they are not performers.
I was however able to catch Mommy J slamming Spencer's head in to the ceiling while trying to play :) ha ha ha I threatened to blog it but I won't.
(child.protective.services ya know)

Invincible

I have to give a big SHOUT OUT to my WONDERFUL friend Jen. She sent me a BIG BOX of the BEST PRENATES EVER.
They have perfected the dosage and give them to you in stages. Stage 1 is your first trimester, Stage 2, 2nd trimester and then finally Stage 3, for your last trimester and breastfeeding. LOVE IT !
Any ways. THANK YOU !

We have a little place here called Fetal Foto. It's great. You get to know the sex of your baby earlier than 20 weeks, you can get wonderful 3 and 4-D pictures. and a little DVD with music choreographed perfectly with the kicks and punches of your little one in utero.
We went last night for peace of mind. They offer a $50.00 viability ultrasound. It was worth it. Still 2 beating little hearts. J teared up and almost cried. I was relieved and slept like a rock for the first time last night in weeks. AAAAAAAAHHHHHH.
Still brown bleeding, but the bright red scare didn't affect the pregnancy.

just to clarify. I reserve the right to be scared at ANY time during this pregnancy. to mourn the possible loss of one or both of my babies. and to lose sleep and readers. :)

oh and no....I still haven't told my mom. I don't know how. If you have any suggestions on how to break the ice I'd love to hear them.

Sydney says.
set up. Sydney asked Mommy J to buy her some chocolate pudding. pudding was purchased and is now in the fridge.
Sydney asks for pudding but is told she will get some after her nap.
Sydney is put down for a nap. Mommy J retires to the basement to watch football.
I head to the bedroom for a nap.
1 hour later, and still not sleeping.......
Sydney, downstairs : "DUDE ! I'm starving up there. I'm laying in my bed and I'm starving. it's like I'm on an Island. I NEEED PUDDING."
Mommy J feels like it is a performance worthy of pudding and feeds her some pudding.
Sydney never took a nap that day.

Both of my boys jump now. I mean really, both feet leave the floor JUMP.
White men jumping, but still. They are getting some AIR YO !

Lastly. I'm putting this song on my blog until after the Rally on the 13th. Maybe until after the 2nd Parent adoption law passes.
I've always wanted to use this song for some gay rights issue and HERE I AM. :) If I could sing I'd sing it. but alas. I will let the legendary Pat Benatar do the honors.

They came, They fought !! They won ??

The big gay 2nd parent adoption was at my house this weekend.
I must back track however to Saturday. no wait. Friday.
I've been feeling like CRAP. still no energy, but really crampy and the brown sludge seems to just keep coming. I've relaxed as much as you can, taking care of 3 other babies...but nothing helps.
I told J that I didn't have it in me. I couldn't do it. I wasn't able to clean my entire house, prepare desserts, and create a warm and inviting atmosphere by Sunday night.
My sweet and loving and WONDERFUL wife agreed and did it herself. I laid around and she cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. OMG I love her.
Saturday I had a baby shower for my brother and his wife. Saturday night was date night. Juno. a must see.
We came home and put the kids to bed. I went to the bathroom and screamed. Ok, not so much a scream but a gasp and an "oh no!" came out.
J came walking in and looked down with as much surprise and horror. My panty liner was full of blood. BRIGHT RED BLOOD. The toilet looked like koolaid.
I called the doctor on call. he was the sweetest and most sensitive man I've ever talked to. "YIP, you could be miscarrying. maybe just one. you could lose both. there's nothing we can do"
I KNOW THAT. I KNOW that there is NOTHING you can do. but god damn it I still want to know what's happening to my babies.
"go to the emergency room if you fill a pad every hour for 9 hours and are passing clots with cramping"
oh thank you I cried, thank you thank you thank you. (noted sarcasm)
Do you think that I slept ? ya...no. I laid there waiting for the major cramping. waiting to fill that pad. waiting to miscarry my baby(ies).
Every time I went to the bathroom I would wipe and with furrowed eyebrows I would slowly look down. YIP. still wiping blood.
I didn't fill a pad and it turned back to the wonderful brown sludge the next day but there I was. a party to get ready for. a house soon to be full of people. all the while I was waiting for the inevitable.
I remember moments before they got there. I told J, "I don't want to do this. I can't do this. I can't fake it and be happy and act all hostessy"
J, typical, "then don't" :)
as my house filled with family. that's how I feel about them. it came very easily and although still at the top of my thoughts (as I couldn't get away from it, everyone congratulating me, patting my tummy) I had a great time. I enjoyed talking to everyone and saw friends that I hadn't seen in years.

moving on. 2nd parent adoption is a MUST in Utah. I know that a lot of you weren't able to come and still want to be involved and help. I know that there are a lot of you out there who didn't know how screwed up the laws were and how much they hurt people.
basically. J has NO rights whatsoever to my children. because of the laws and some of the cases that have gone before the courts and passed....it would be as easy as snapping my finger to take them from her tomorrow if I wanted.
It affect the kids in school, with doctors, social security, insurance, ALL OF IT.
Write letters. all of you. everyone. straight. gay. married. single. write a letter and email it to keri@equalityutah.org.
It can be 1 paragraph. tell your story. or just say that you want the laws in Utah changed. make it anonymous. ask your family to write them.
There will also be a rally at the state capitol on the 13th of February. PLEASE COME. 5 people won't really get a rise out of the law makers. If they think that this is just a couple of cry babies and that they can ignore them and they'll go away...they will ignore them.
Did you know it took 13 years to get the hate crime law passed in Utah. THIRTEEN YEARS.
Write. Rally. Fight for our families. fight for mine :)

Rally it up !

Fighting for 2nd parent adoption in Utah.
Meeting at my house. Sunday. 6pm.

hee hee, I feel just like Katie Morosky in "The way we were".

I need some CHEESE !!!!!

whine, whine, whine.
I have started practicing my Lamaze breathing. Each wave of morning sickness brings me to a sitting position breathing heeh heeh haaaaaaa heeh heeh haaaaa.

Sydney said to me before her nap yesterday...."mommy I don't want you to be sick"
She's SO perceptive. We haven't told her yet. We haven't told her because we haven't told my mom and dad.....or her pre-school teacher, the lady at the grocery store, some random guy at the mall. I think we'll save it until we are ready to announce it to the world.
She was up at 3am barking like a seal. I got to sit in a steamy bathroom with her. I tried to picture myself all svelte and at the gym in a steam room, working off that last 20 calories to get myself through it. is this really my life


I'm SO TIRED !
I tried to clean my house yesterday. I loaded the dishwasher, separated the dirty cloths and put a load in the washing machine. My heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest. and I felt as if I'd run a full marathon. That can't be good. so I stopped cleaning.
Like getting up all night to pee prepares your for new babies...I believe that being thrown on your ass does as well. I had better get used to a messy house, kids in jammies, hamburger helper and bad breath because....well...frankly that's what I have.
Fuck Kate and her 8. She's a freak of nature.


**update**
How I know this is affecting my children.
Sydney opened the blinds for me and while doing so sang "I'm a Higgly Town hero born and true, I help this town with the things I do...I opened these blinds so you can be...a Higgly town heroooo, just like meeee, a Higgly town heroooo, just like me... "
I have GOT to start interacting with my children...she's memorizing songs to shows on the Disney Channel for the love of all that's holy.

2 beating hearts.....

and then there were 3.

No. no. no. just kidding.
I went in for an ultrasound today.
Still 2 beating hearts. 2 perfectly aged, appropriately sized babies.

They found some blood spots and called it a hemorrhage of some kind. It's like placental abruption, but because it's so early they don't call it that.
She found no reason to be overly concerned and said that they sometimes see this.
As for the lack of pregnancy symptoms. no answers for that. they sometimes see that too.

Now that I'm over this whole bleeding, miscarriage, there's no way this will happen for me phase. (warning:for today only)
Let me just say, that although I was in a dark place last night....I STILL don't think that I could have found MUCH to be happy about with the L-word.
BLAH. that's how I felt. I feel like they are turning Shane in to Poppy. (and I'm glad that her studio was burned down) and if they don't get my mom....I mean Cybill Shepard off of the damn show I'm boycotting. I don't like seeing her face.
They IMMEDIATELY throw Tina and Bette around as a couple....blah.blah.blah. and Jenny's character is ABSOLUTELY ridiculous.
The only saving grace for last nights episode was TASHA !!!! I luf her.
This had better pick up. I feel like they go every other season. Last season rocked so now this season is going to suck. Maybe not !
I've been wrong before :)

I see brown !

I'm posting from a dark place. Figuratively and literally.
I thought....why not post how I feel. PERFECT !

My heart of hearts is telling me that this pregnancy will not last. You know that maternal instinct. That inner voice. I haven't felt quite right about this pregnancy from the beginning.
My body seems to agree. I have been having "spotting" episodes throughout this entire pregnancy.
The first time it was pink and ended with brown. The second time was brown. Today brown. There's no reason for it as I have relaxed and rested this entire weekend. I also have cramping. It's not growing uterus cramping either. I've carried twins, I remember the pinching and cramping that you get. This is like shards of glass are in my uterus and then it contracts on them. I remember this all too well.

You see. I feel like I was given a gift and he is now saying...you spit on it. and I respond, that was not spit but tears, and he says...same thing....and now I'm taking it back...and I try and tell him that I'll be ok, I'm coming around....and he says, no...not good enough.

I haven't made my first doctors appointment. I think I will.
I see an ultrasound. I hear a doctor say...I'm not seeing hearbeats. it doesn't look like they've grown from about 6 weeks.
I've said it before and I will say it again.
oh the irony !

THREE WORDS

well ok, 2 words and a letter.
THE L-WORD !!!!!

Season premier on Sunday !!!!
I can't wait.
and with all of these added hormones I can enjoy each episode long after I fall asleep too. woo hoo.

Que sera sera.....

I went through every kind of emotion there was yesterday from overwhelming sadness, to fear, to anger, to guilt, to extreme happiness and back around to fear again.

Everyone is worried about J. I thought I'd let her speak for herself.
Me : "Ok, go !.......oh wait, sorry." (sound of tape ripping off of flesh)
J : "OOOOOUUUUCH !"



Ok, not really. J as always is a ROCK. She has been a tower of strength.
She feels as if she's always known it was twins. She prepared herself for that and only with my persuasive personality had doubted that it was not going to be twins.
She laughed during the ultrasound. so much so that I told her to stop at one point.
She's terribly excited and has been calling everyone, including her family.
She's also found our new suburban with a fold down middle seat. :) That's my girl.

My family hasn't had the chance to step up yet. I'm certain this is my fear, as it was my fear that everyone would laugh and say "you did this to yourself ya crazy bitch"
That has not been the case AT ALL and I'm sure that my mom will be fine too.

Funniest thing I heard yesterday in response to the news, "Shit Hero, you're gonna need a small bus" Thank you Kimmy. GOD how I needed that laugh !
I couldn't POSSIBLY name the sweetest. You have all been ABSOLUTELY caring and supportive. Thank you.
Thank you for your comments, emails and phone calls. for all of the words of encouragement.

As for belly shots (carey).....WHATEVER. :) Girl I HAD twins, hell I've had a singleton and then twins...my belly will never see the light of day. EVER.
I will say that was one of the give a ways that I was pregnant with twins.
My stomach looks 3 months along already. I thought I was just bloated or what the hell ever....I just knew I looked 3 months pregnant and figured it was all of my taking it easy, and eating what I want.

I didn't know how I was going to write this post. I've come up with so many ideas in my head for the last couple of months. Some funny, some creative.
There will be none of that today. Just facts :)
Catch up time !

History,
In August J and I sat down and talked about our 5 frozen possibilities. J's not getting any younger and we are paying to store them. We agreed to try again.
The appointment was made and
In September we met with the lovely staff at the UofU again and put our calendar together.
In October I started the pills
In November I started injections
In December they thawed all 5 of my embryos. 4 survived. 2 looked good, both 5 day blast grade 2B's.
Dec. 5th we transferred the 2 we thought looked like might produce a baby.
My odds went up from a normal cryo cycle of 27% to suddenly 74%.
I remember the second the doctors walked out of the room I turned to J and said...."what the fuck did we just do" ! :)
Funny that keeps coming to the edge of my lips but there is nobody here to say it to.

I started taking pregnancy tests 3 days after transfer (I know, I know)
Day 5 I got a positive. the tests slowly darkened through day 10 (I stopped only because that was all of the tests that I bought)
We were pregnant ! WOO HOO !!! I was happier than I thought I was going to be. I had talked myself out of the chances. Cryo or FET's (frozen embryo transfer) don't work. They NEVER work.

I had some bleeding/spotting last week. I tried to take it easy and after 3 days it stopped. I was CERTAIN that I was miscarrying. It was all reminiscent of the first miscarriage. The cramping and spotting.

I went in for my viability ultrasound today.
I left crying.
I'm still crying.
I feel guilty for crying. I feel bad for being sad.
Mostly....I'm just scared.
I mean fucking out of my mind...how am I going to do this again. scared.











I don't know how I'm going to tell my mom. (ssshhh for those of you who know my family members) nobody is going to be happy about this. and that makes me sad. because I want to be happy about this. but my fear has taken over and there seems to be room for nothing else. (tears, more tears)

Logistics and fears. new car. most likely a new house. (and by new I mean old). most likely bed rest with 3 little babies already here. never leaving the house without someone with me. no more date nights. no babysitter is crazy enough to take this on.

Blessings and things to look forward to. (tears streaming) 2 more WONDERFUL and amazing children to call my own. 2 more best friends. thanksgiving. family.
I have so much to be grateful for. I am ABSOLUTELY blessed...so much so that my cup seems to hath runneth over :)

Doesn't the picture of my uterus look like a shocked face. maybe that of a cat.
WHATEVER....it's psychology, it's my inner self explaining itself on the outside. or some bullshit like that.

2008 is GREAT !

How Cheesy was that title.
It's over. and now I can start scratching out 2007 when I write the date for the next 4 months or so.
2007 came and left and with every passing year I feel myself getting older and older. well that's stupid..of course I'm getting older ! cha.
but I mean...I'm getting REALLY old.
I find myself saying things like..."No honey...that's not lady like" and
"Don't make me pull this car over"
Days, weeks and months pass in a blink of an eye now. and I find myself reflecting more on my life and what it has become.
OMG I'M GETTING SO-OOOO-O OLD !

I got through my first year with twins. I feel like I deserve a medal. We learned how to walk, talk, C~L~I~M~B, escape.
They now sleep through the night. Feed themselves. and turn a room upside down in MERE SECONDS.

Sydney has grown in to this smart, sweet, STRONG little person. She took her first dance class, t-ball lesson and dropped out of swimming lessons.

We met our amazing 1/2 sibling families.
We flew to meet them. with 3 kids. ACROSS THE FRIGGIN' COUNTRY ! and we survived.

Me and J found each other again through the daze and haze of kids and diapers and bottles and work and re-connected and became a stronger unit.

We have spent time with lots of great people, some new and some old.

and although the words go like this....
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne.

I've always sung it,
should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never bring da maaaa
should old acquaintance be forget,
and never su so my....

What it means to me is, I feel like I need to remember those friends that I don't talk enough to and to kiss the ones I do see.
We were able to spend New Years with WONDERFUL friends this year.














What's New Years without the back of a car and fireworks.

2007 was great. it has brought us blessings we can't describe. I could try...but not today !