Doctors appointment !

Blood pressure, perfect.
Cervix, closed.
Measuring, 30 weeks.
next appointment, 2 1/2 weeks.

Stop reading if you don't like hearing stories that contain words like: TMI. poop. fart and vagina's.

I have to share something. I don't know if this happens to anyone else, but I for one am SICK of it happening to me.
EVERY TIME. and I have been at this trying to conceive/female Dr.s appointments for a VERY LONG DAMN TIME. every time I get naked from the waist down and jump up on the table I suddenly get the feeling that I need to either fart or poop. I don't know if it's all mental, the way I'm sitting (I have tried to adjust myself, lay down, sit up)or what....but EVERY TIME I go in my bowels seem to relax, or tense up, or something and it all causes for a VERY uncomfortable wait time and physical exam.
I'm afraid that any pressure in the wrong direction is going to cause me to slip, to lose control and hell, after birthin' 3 babies the control is pretty much gone ANY WAYS.
Each time I explain my situation to J. and it's been a lot of times explaining. I tell her it's not funny. I tell her I don't know what to do. I tell her I'm serious this time. this time I really am serious. I freak out and then we get through the appointment and leave with no worries.
Today I had a feeling. I kept saying...dude I seriously think I need to poop. (which, I NEVER NEED TO POOP, and I already pooped this month so I shouldn't need to go again)
J continued checking her emails and ignored me, because HI...we've been at this for A LONG DAMN TIME.
Finally, I made several jokes using the paper sheet as a prop...wrapping it around the front of me and heading for the door. Like I would actually RUN to the bathroom with my ass hanging out. ha ha...cha ! (I might)
Then I made comments about how I could just wrap it up in tissue paper and throw it in the garbage and how nobody would know. and how this time was different and I am serious and I feel like I really need to go.
J continued checking her emails and would occasionally smile and continued to ignore me. she did throw in, "you know that if you go to the bathroom you won't be able to go right ?"
I threw on my pants, ran to the bathroom (as to not miss Dr. Hottie when she came in) and SURE ENOUGH....May's bowel movement came a few days early.
I went back in. missed the doctor (of course) and said, "now aren't we all glad I went."
I HATE that God didn't put our anatomy in different places. Why couldn't we have babies and vagina's and cervix's in our belly buttons.
I know it might cause problems at the beach in bikini's. But hey, if it were always like that, it may not be weird at all.
Leave the pooping, peeing, flatulence issues down under where they could be kept covered and muffled at all times during female appointments.
Proof again to me that God is a man.

One week to my first goal

Well the WHOLE pregnancy has been one big goal, but 24 weeks is such an important date....it's right next to 12 weeks, 30 weeks, 32 weeks, 33-34-35-36-36 1/2-37-37 1/2-38 !!!! ok, that's good. right there..we'll stop right there.
38 weeks !

I don't know if it's good that I have experience with a twin pregnancy or not.
Before I was a little naive to the whole thing. A great friend of mine recommended the best book to me, When you're expecting Twins, triplets and quads, so I had a heads up as to the differences between a singleton and a twin pregnancy. I FELT the difference. But I remember being put down at 29 weeks and going to stress tests and ultrasounds and doctors appointments and everyone HOPING to get me to 34 weeks. I didn't feel a thing. Not a contraction. nothing. Or so I thought.
Now EVERYTHING I feel is familiar and I keep thinking, OH SHIT, is this pressure and pain and contraction dilating me.
The back pain, the pressure, the constipation. Ok, the constipation really has nothing to do with anything I am just sick of it like the other symptoms.

We had SUCH a great Saturday. J took the boys to her moms and taught them how to install a new disposal.
I spent the day with my little girl and our friends Kelly Belly and her daughter Imani.
They get along so well...and it's so much fun to see them play together. We went to the mall, the girls immediately grabbed hands and skipped off like the best of friends.
After we decided to go get pedicures. The girls were great.
Here are some pictures of that day.
















Saturday night we went to see Baby Mama. It was pretty funny.
It started out a little slow, the middle I laughed so hard my eyes hurt and then the ending was predictable.
I'm a little embarrassed that what made me laugh so hard was the word fart. COME ON NOW ! it was pretty damn funny though.
All in all, chalk it up to one great weekend. Hope yours was the same.

Picture this.

I asked Sydney to take a belly shot...as I was requested to post an updated one and well although I think you are all computer animated people and have no right to ask me to do anything....I remember the comments that I have left to some of you about posting updates with belly shots :) hee hee hee so here you are.

Sydney would giggle and say, "big ol' bella" and then SNAP.
"Did you get it ?" I'd say and she'd happily turn the camera around to show me her work.
Ya, honey, I need you to get my belly.














"Can you see my bell..." SNAP. okey dokey.














In other news, an Ant Colony was destroyed today.
I TRIED to explain that we don't roll them up, scratch them, or use sidewalk chalk on them...that they had families and didn't want to be picked up with a pincer grip leaving 1/2 of their bodies stuck to one finger and a head with legs flailing about on the other one. Maybe when they are 3. Then they will understand the quality of a life.















Sydney tried to help Spencer understand that you "don't touch bud, just look at them" too....but this ant also fell to the table and lost his life when he was being picked back up. RIP little ants.

The boobs hath landed !

Yes, it is true, my boobs now rest upon my belly while in a seated position.
Now before you start congratulating me, and patting me on the back like I've suddenly grown normal sized boobs....let me just tell you that it's not my boobs that have grown down to my belly but my belly up to my boobs. (sigh)

I was in the shower this morning and glanced down at what looked like a pretty good sized blood clot. I just stared at it. I didn't touch it, or squat down to it. My whole body froze and thoughts of, "I just peed and didn't wipe any blood", came to my head. The thought of pushing it with my toe came in and then the impulse to do it stopped me short 3 or 4 times. I really did freeze up.
I finally bent over and examined it a little closer and inched my toe over and pushed it. It was firm and not slimey or blood clotty at all. alas. a grouping of red to dark red strings had made it's way in to the shower with me. no blood at all(sigh)

Ultrasound day.
Dear babies, thank you both for being alive. Thank you for still having 4 chamber hearts, brains with no black spots and no additional and unnecessary appendages.
I appreciate that you are both head down and ready to go...however please make yourselves comfortable for the next 4 months. Float around. No need to act like you are on your way out.
Also....Please stop burying your faces in to the softness and comfort of the placenta so that we may get a better look at your beautiful faces.
Sorry I still call you A and B. Working on that.
All my love and kisses,
Mama (sigh)


The ultrasound went well. They are measuring a week and 2 days (baby A) and week and 4 days (baby B) ahead of schedule. Big boys !

I went to lunch with my wife, came home...picked up my kids, put them all down for naps and now ladies and gentleman (yes, I believe there may only be one man that reads this) I'm off to rest it up for the next 1 1/2 - 2 hours (I HOPE)

(SIGH !!!! )

He's not heavy.....he's my brother !

My turn older but not bigger bro !

Mr. Sandman....

Dear Mr. Sandman,
I'm writing you a letter to let you know how things work in our home.
We don't allow our children to watch scary or terrorsome T.V. Even cartoons with violence and hair-raising action is not permitted.
This being said, I would appreciate it if you would keep those horrible dreams to yourself, for at least the next 18 years. No more creepy bugs, no more "beast-is" eyes on Mommy J.
Sydney ACTS grown sometimes but she is just a little peanut and cannot handle the kinds of things that you are bringing her to dream of at night.
Thank you, and please keep this letter on hand so that we don't have to go over all of these issues again in 4 years with the boys.
-K-

P.S. Thank you for sending me all of the sexually charged dreams....(whispered) I really dig Queen Latifah and could really care less about Matthew McConaughey.

P.S.S If my uterus and cervix can no longer handle these "dreams" go ahead and send them to my wife. She deserves them.

oh oh oh...and please don't blow up J's bosses house (resembling my High School) filled with all of the employees, any more...just so that J will get a few days off of work, while all of her co-workers are having surgery. Because although I was excited that I got to have J off for a couple of days I'm sure those families were also sad that their loved ones were hurt, dismembered and fighting for their lives. Thank you for keeping my family safe though.
peace and love Sandman...always remember,peace and love.

attached is a picture of my tiny little peanut. much too small for such big scary dreams. only big enough for dreams like making it in to the Olympics or possibly the circus. Look at that back bend. today is our 2nd gymnastics class, Sydney is praying to work on cartwheels. :)

Why I'd like to be a weather girl

Because I'm SUPER good at making shit up.

Today's weather forecast













Friday's weather forecast













3 letters WTF !!!

21 weeks.

Well tomorrow marks 21 weeks.



















Ok that is me 34 weeks pregnant with my boys.
Does the fact that I FEEL that big give me any kind of sympathy :)
20 weeks 5 days


















correction :
J reminded me that she HAS in fact cleaned our shower before. Maybe even 2 times.
I wasn't going to argue with her...damn she's pissy lately !!
(just like me and I LOVE it :) ha ha ha

FREAKING frost/snow on the ground this morning. not complaining...waiting for it to hit mid 70's by Sunday.
Off to find some sweats that I can cut off in to shorts. well longs. I can't show too much of these big ol legs.

Hope you all have a FABULOUS WEEKEND !

A Narcissist, clean my house !

So the sun isn't coming out today...nor tomorrow...but by Saturday it is TOTALLY coming out. OMG look at Monday. Can you see it, can you feel it. do you know I just peed a little.
JOYOUS JOYOUS JOYOUS days.

With my ever growing belly and the tired and the pain and the bleeding and the scares I haven't been much of a wife. I don't clean, cook. I manage. I pick up.
The kids are alive when J gets home and that is good enough for me.

- J is not one to take care of details. She is more laid back and doesn't let things bother her....all the while I'm sitting in this FILTHY house and it's DRIVING ME CRAZY !
- Another thing. J doesn't like sandwiches. it has to be w-a-r-m, it has to be a hamburger and fries (which I hate) it's a point of contention in our relationship I must say. She also won't eat cereal for dinner. "it's not a meal, it's a snack" she says. "but that's what I made for dinner" I explain.

it all started :
The last couple of weeks she's been on edge. Snappy. who could blame her really, she's got a lot to deal with.
The other night she said, "I think I'll have a sandwich for dinner"
WHAAA ??
Last night she came home and said..."I have to get the bathrooms scrubbed, they are driving me crazy"
She cleaned my floors, bathrooms and put some laundry away.

I walked in to our master bath, J was on her knees scrubbing our shower...(I don't think she's EVER cleaned our shower) and I realized something that I never thought could happen.
She's turning in to me and I like it.
I never thought I would like myself if there were another one of me out there.
I TOTALLY would. We would be best friends and I think I was a little turned on by the whole cleaning thing.
Slightly narcissistic right ?
It helped with my self esteem, my house is clean, and I fell madly in love with my wife. Who was tired and spent and didn't want me talking to her while the Suns killed the Spurs....let alone sitting too close to her on the couch. I just wanted to be right next to her and visit and be close and not let her out of my sight.
I announced to everyone while meeting up with her after her duties were over. "who wants to make out with Mommy ?"
Spencer and Syd both ran to give her big loves.
I wish she were here right now, I would TOTALLY make out with her.

aaaaah. I'm going to sit on my clean floors and read to my kids.

The sun will come out....tomorrow ?

My mom and I took Sydney to see Annie last night. She loves the movie so the Broadway musical would be wonderful.
I was 8 when my mom took me to see it for the first time. I was HOOKED.
I memorized every line, including those of the people on the streets and would repeat it each and every time I watched it. Almost every day for the next 6 years.
I imagined Grace Farrell falling in love with me and spoiling me rotten as I so rightfully deserved to be.


When the orchestra began playing in the beginning Sydney glanced up at me with stars in her eyes and a big surprised look full of recognition on her face.
My heart flooded with happiness and as I looked at her smile those butterflies I felt when I was 8 came rushing over me.

The moment soon left, and I was reminded of some dear friends. An hour or so before leaving I got a call that this friend had to deliver her baby due to complications and held her 23 week and 2 day old baby in her arms for 2 hours before he passed away.
Tears filled my eyes and these friends were with me for the next little while as I placed Syd on my lap and held her tight.
My thoughts and prayers are still with them.
I hope that their sun will come out..tomorrow !
Love you A and T !

First Haircuts.....

We took the boys to get their first professional haircuts. I've been doing it so far and preeeeeetty much think that it's time to move on.
Hint, when the lady asked me about Spencer's hair and said...."so do you want it to look like a mullet ?".
"NO ! I want the shaggy, Canadian Hockey player look. Come one now !"

They both handled it really well considering we had previews with Syd who screamed her ENTIRE first haircut, so this wasn't so bad :)
















Cameron LOVES "bawoooons" so it was just a matter of getting him down to make him happy.
















(note to self : never have hair cuts land the day before pictures....you need a little time to let the bangs grow in)

We took Syd to have her Kiddi3 K*ndid pictures taken. I followed the rules and made an appointment. I followed directions and went to the one located in BRU.
Showed up 10 minutes early JUST LIKE THE WEBSITE told me.
Hair perfect. dress perfect. children perfect.
"hi, yes, we have an appointment at 10:50. my name is oh positive one. 4 year birthday pictures. great. ok." smiling. happy.
"there is one more sitting before you"
"but I. I have an appointment. that's the whole reason for the appointment is to have it and to hold the time for me."
"why don't you go look around the store, we will page you when it's your turn. these are older kids so it shouldn't take so long."
Feelings of anxiety rushed over me. not again. NOT AGAIN.
FORTY FIVE MINUTES FUCKING LATER.
This woman before us had the MOST unattractive children. and bless their hearts they were trying to MAKE them look attractive.
They had several sets of outfits and because they were a little older (2 of them) they had to run to the back of the store to change. and then their flutes weren't in the right place and the damn BABY DIDN'T CARE FOR THE FEATHER DUSTER AND DAMN IT I MADE AN APPOINTMENT.Syd's hair had flattened out, the boys were screaming their heads off. I was having pressure and pain. J's head was where I was taking out all of the pressure and pain.
We FINALLY sat down. Syd was a SUPER STAR. Lights. Camera. Action. she's growing up folks.
Here are a few pictures that we got.
(p.s. loved the picture girl...she was fantastic) TOTALLY didn't take it out on her.
OH and....I was out of the store before that dumb lady who probably was a walk in, had even finished ordering.
THANK GOD we weren't getting all 3 of their pictures taken.

Au Pair-ently you had questions.

I am the WORST at answering questions. HORRIBLE. I forget. Blame it on the pregnancy brain.
WHICH by the way has been STATISTICALLY, CLINICALLY, RESEARCHICALLY proven to be in fact a fact. NO, not that I am the worst at answering questions. but that "pregnancy brain" does exist.
I am the perfect person to study if you know someone who knows someone who is writing a dissertation on this subject.
I can't remember words. Simple words. Every day words. They are lost in a hormonal frenzy and after circulating through my blood, over the placenta they exit in my pee.
APPARENTLY it takes 5 years for them to return. I've been pregnant for the last 5 years. explains a lot dudn't it.
No, I don't really know how long but I worry that they will never come back.
(even typing this...the word "exist" escaped my brain and I had to pregnancy pause and search for it. It's bad people)

How to find a nanny, For idiots :
We went on a few nanny web sites that were recommended to us. You can look over the applicants for free but to get their contact information you have to pay a fee (the ones we looked in to ranged from $60.00-$120.00).
What you are paying for is detail about your nanny, what they are looking for what they are willing to do, down to their height and weight (I still don't really get that)
They do a background check on them(which I'm certain isn't fool proof).
Either way...it's all right there. Once you sign up and put your profile in, you mark favorites, they find you and can mark you as a potential favorite. The site will send you who they think you match up with. Then you pick one and hope that they pick you too.
Relatively simple really.

We chose to go the Au Pair way for several reasons.
1) cost. It is quite a bit cheaper to bring someone in over farming the kids out. You wouldn't think so, but even using our inexpensive Ms. Monique, we are saving $400.00 a month this way.
Some nannies and most with experience would have cost the same as if we took them to daycare...which is why we went the not a lot of experience route.
I will be home so we aren't too worried about that.

2)The kids stay in their own environment. They don't have to get up at 6:30 am so Mommy J can fight them all the way to daycare leaving them in tears for the wonderful Ms. Monique to deal with.

3) They don't have to share time with any other kids.

4)I can still see them, hear them, be around them, kiss them, hug them ANY OLD TIME I WANT :)

We put Syd in daycare when I went on bed rest with the boys at 29 weeks. I missed her SO MUCH !
I hated that I was just laying around and couldn't hug her little body all day.

PLUS..PLUS...PLUS....THE BIGGEST BONUS. Let me just tell you.
Nicole's willing to work some nights and weekends if we decide to go out. She will be here when we deliver so we won't have to worry about taking the kids in the middle of the night to grandma's or finding someone to take them while we recover in the hospital. IF there is an early delivery I will be able to worry free spend time up at the hospital knowing the kids are at home in good hands.

SEE why I'm on cloud nine !!! I'm so thrilled I just peed a little.

Oh. Nicole's mom (who is a cop by the by, as is her dad) called J and talked to her. She told J that Nicole had offers in France and Ireland and that her WHOLE reason to nanny was to use her newly acquired French language. She said that she was going to France and then the next she knew she was coming to Utah to work with us. Her mother was as confused as we still are. I hope we can make this a good experience for her.
FRANCE...HELLOOOO....IRELAND ! I'm thinking of leaving Nicole here and taking that job !

P.S. I didn't mention anything about blogging all about our time together in the contract we had her sign. :)
I will for sure ask her before posting pictures.

It's 55 degrees outside and I'm off to play with the kids. They LOVE the playhouse this year. It helps that the neighbors who have used it more than my kids, carpeted the upstairs :)

Excuse you........

Saw doctor Hot-ay today.
2 heartbeats.
measuring 28 weeks. (that's 7 months in the singleton world)
gained 19 lbs thus far.

I had to valet because there was no close parking and I was L-A-T-E.
The valet attendant tried to tell me that there was parking over in the middle section of north 40 but that I'd have to walk a ways....I smiled politely and said, "oh really"..using my inside voice I said, "I'm late bitch, is this valet or what ?....give me my friggin' ticket already !"
This particular valet could OBVIOUSLY hear inner voices which included mine, because as a nice gesture when retrieving my car she left me a little present.
She TOTALLY FARTED in my car. She dashed off before receiving a tip. I'm certain she felt that was payment enough.
When I explained to J how a strangers fart is worse than a loved ones fart, she felt as violated as I did.
Little did she know, I left her a little something at her valet stand. :) hee hee
WHAT !! I can't help it, I'm pregnant. Shit happens.
Tit for Tat !