7 month belly pic

Ok, so I'm 2 days early from 7 months.

My goal here was to have a 3-D, biggest loser image that rotated around so you could get the whole body picture. I don't know how to do that, so here is a flat, bad-REALLY BAD lighting, taken by a 4 year old picture.....with added text. I thought I was pretty good to add the text....ya ?

I got all my test results back.

(now imagine I'm rotating....naked...in all my 3-D glory....see isn't this picture WAAAAY better than what you just put your mind through)

So you're telling me I coulda had the candy bar.....

Memorial weekend came and went.
With it we were able to get some yard work done (and by "we" I am referring to the hard efforts of my wife)
We made it to 1 BBQ this weekend. 1 out of 3 aint so bad, right ?
One of the BBQ's was scheduled to be at my next door neighbors house (and by "next door neighbor" I am referring to my house :) She said that everyone would gather at her house and then the kids would all come play at our house. I thanked her for inviting us.
But alas, it was rained out as was the Zoo and any other activities that took place outside on Memorial day.
We took the kids to one of the greatest, indoor back ups here and they had a blast.

Spencer and Cam on their Jeep safari














Yes, this is Nanny Nicole. (full authorization and signatures took place before downloading this picture :)














The girls !















27 weeks & 3 days. Can you believe it ! I have been patting myself on the back every day for the last 5 days. especially after going to the bathroom where I STILL check for blood.
In 1 week I will have been put down for the remainder of my pregnancy with the first set of boys. I think I am going to do better this time around.
I had a doctors appointment today and Baby A who is now Baby B is back to his head down position but is still considered 2nd in the chute. I believe when he pulled out, his brother kindly took the lead and might not give it back.
I also had my glucose tested today. I'm a little nervous only because I am measuring big and my boys are as well. The drink is actually kind of good. It has a bit of fizz to it now....I don't remember them adding that. Dr. Hottie told me today that now they are letting you eat a king sized snickers before getting the test. ARE YOU KIDDING ME ? I had to have freaking Orange FANTA when I could have had a king sized snickers ! I'm hoping to fail just so that I can eat the snickers bar.

I measure 36 weeks now. My hips are spread so wide with 2 over sized heads pushing them apart that even the slightest movement can throw my back out.
10 1/2 more weeks.
lets all pray for me ! :)

Phototherapy lights.

I'm needy. now those who THINK you know me and are already thinking of something sarcastic to comment, just you wait.
Pregnancy makes me SUPER NEEDY. I want J next to me, by me, I want to be touching her at all times when she's home. If she had a kangaroo pouch I'd climb in and stay there for the rest of my pregnancy. Popping my head out only to drink cherry Slurpee's and eat Whatchamacallits.

I started saying during the end of my pregnancy with Syd....J, come be my neighbor. She instantly knew by those 4 words that she would no longer be watching some rerun basketball game from 1985 and would have to sit by me and watch something we both agreed upon on tv. :) she always did too
It's now been 3 kids and 10 years later. Now I say, J, come be my neighbor. (nothing) Neeeeighbor. NEEEIGHBOR. (still nothing) J. WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT ON THE COMPUTER THAT YOU CAN'T COME BE MY NEIGHBOR. I can SEE you. I see that you are looking up Weeds to see when it starts again. are you SERIOUS. Pulease come be my neighbor.
Usually that amount of nagging and pressure brings her to me with a guilted and bothered "WHAT?!". The kids will drag her away after a few minutes but she will return to me if I can catch her somewhere between their bedrooms and JUST before the computer room.

Now I must add. SUDDENLY, J's work wants to take her away to Denver, Vegas, some 3 day conference someplace far away from me. ARE YOU KIDDING ME ! FORGET IT !
PLUS. She's finishing my parents basement and goes straight from work once a week to work on it. Which leaves me all by my lonesome until about 11 pm when she rolls in, showers and falls fast asleep. (before you feel sorry for her, J LOVES to do stuff like this. It's like my scrapbooking. It's a hobby for her)

She's going there tonight. She also called to tell me that she was going to take her trip to Vegas and combine it with Denver so she doesn't have to fly home just to get up at the crack of dawn to go to Denver. An overnight in Vegas. without me. but but but....those few hours of her home means that I can visit with her. Why doesn't she realize this ? Why doesn't she think about MEEEEEE ?

I just called her at work to remind her to make a doctors appointment for a bilirubin test that came back high on some blood work. Tests which get my head and google going and now I'm certain she has some kind of hepatitis or liver disease and OMG what does this mean for us. She doesn't answer and doesn't call me back.
After the courtesy, you might be in an important meeting so I'll wait before calling in case your phone isn't working or was turned off...I call her again and she's on her way to lunch with friends. Now I'm just hurt and mad because DAMN IT I'M PREGNANT AND STRESSED OUT ABOUT A LIVER TRANSPLANT, AND HOW COULD YOU FORGET THAT I CALLED EARLIER AND LEFT MESSAGES AND NOW NEXT TIME I CALL I WILL SIT AND THINK THAT I NEED TO CALL LIKE 4 TIMES JUST TO MAKE SURE YOU DON'T FORGET ME AGAIN !

I wish she were home right now. (sigh)

I took this picture myself.
This is an example of being my neighbor. I like it this close. :) yip that's perfect. (well without the pouch)

The not so rich or famous !

I have to clear a little something up. If there were money to be made on cable TV shows....there would be LINES of people signing up to allow cameras in to their homes for all of the viewers to see.
No money to be made folks. no college funds. no free diapers. no free cloths. no formula, or trips, no free nannies.....and although I tried to put in the contract that I get to meet and have lunch with 0prah (who's purchasing Disc0very health). That doesn't seem to be panning out either :)
We get to have our little story documented and delivered and remembered forever.
PLUS, I get to have my verjayjay filmed and edited and blurred and put on TV for the WHOLE WORLD TO SEE !
SERIOUSLY, who can pass an opportunity like that up !

Ultrasound day.
My boys are BIG ! No wonder I'm measuring so far ahead. Baby A flipped and is now toosh down head up and is no longer considered Baby A. He is measuring 28 weeks 2 days. TWO WEEKS AHEAD OF SCHEDULE. His estimated weight is 2 lbs 11 oz.
Baby B who is now Baby A (because he's closest to the exit) is still head down.
He is measuring 27 weeks 4 days and is estimated to weigh 2 lbs 5 oz.

Syd says.
As we were driving out of our neighborhood today, Syd says "DUDE...mow your lawn !"
I have NO idea where she gets this from (ahem, ahem)

Syd and Spencer at the Gateway fountains. Cam, NO WHERE NEAR THE WATER.

Lights, Camera, Action ! OMG !

I don't have any good stories to share with you about nanny nicole.
I mean, other than....there was this one time (today) when I needed to get Cam's hair cut. and did. I just took Cam. and I called that very morning and scheduled it.
Oh and this other time (later today), I took Syd to get the car washed. DETAILED, carpets scrubbed. Did I mention it was a nap time/lunch time and I was able to leave with just Syd and had no worries about lunch time or nap time. (that it took 2 hours and Syd was a CHAMP..a CHAMP I tell you was just a bonus)

A month ago I would regularly call my wife and it sounded something like this :

J, "hello"
Me, "J, I am going to KILL EVERYONE IN THIS HOUSE !"
J, "what's going on ?"
Me, "I CAN'T DO THIS. I MEAN I REALLY CAN'T DO THIS. I WANT TO RUN AWAY. HOW IN THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO THIS WITH TWO MORE. I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND. I MEAN I REALLY DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND. I REALLY, REALLY, HONEST TO GOD CAN'T DO THIS."
J, silence
Me, "If they cry, or whine, or throw another tantrum I SWEAR I'm going to lose it."
J, "What's wrong with them, do you think they don't feel good. Maybe give them some Tylenol."
Me, "I don't know. They don't need fucking Tylenol, they need to be sent some place FAR FAR AWAY FROM ME ! Seriously J, what am I going to do with 2 more."

This was something that happened, hmmmm, maybe once, twice a week.
Sometimes there were details as to what one of the kids was doing to drive me to this dark place and sometimes it was just a random phone call that left you wondering ? how is she going to do it ?
I haven't called J once since Nicole has been with us. well not like that. now it's boring and all, "hi" "hi" "what are you doing ?" "just working, how's everyone ?" "fine" "good" "ok" "talk to you later"

J considers this, money well spent.


ok, lights camera action........
There is this other bit of news that seems to be making it's way throughout my circle of friends and then WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY outside of my circle of friends and so I thought I'd just end it all right here and now. It's one of those, I tell 5 people and they tell 28 people and then one of those 28 people knows someone that I know who knows someone that used to know me and said something at a party and it was overheard and brought up to someone who blogs and tells me at a kid friendly function....."so I heard.....?"

Back in January we were approached by a Producer from California. (hi paul...he reads here) He found my little blog that could and read about our 2 new babies coming and thought it was a story worth telling.
ASTONISHED and still stunned we talked a little more. He pitched the idea to the networks and it seems that they too would like to see our little but steadily growing family on TV.
1 hour. a 1 hour episode ALL about my big gay family.
All of this time you have been making comments about J & K plus 8 and although the comparison is no comparison here we are.
They will record our lives pre babies, during babies and finish it up with post babies. I believe it will air in December 08 or January 09 on Disc0very Health.
and to think...all I really ever wanted was to be Paris Hiltons BFF.

There is this whole blog about how scared I am, how I don't feel worthy of being on TV. How although crazy my life is, it is also just that boring compared to raising 8 or even 18 kids....which seems to be the latest and greatest. And did I mention being slightly scared.
It's not like blogging where I spout off to mostly computer generated not real people and the ones that do read that are real I just pretend that you don't really know me and that you are just another computer generated blogger that I sometimes see at kid friendly functions.

There you have it. We will be running auditions for those of you that want to be our friends during filming. Please be my friend. I always think it's kind of sad that J&K plus 8 don't have any friends. So first, if you want to sign up to be my friend....then we can work on signing you up to be filmed :) ha ha

Check out them apples........

I want to congratulate all of our girls (well and that one guy) in California.
Now go get yourselves hitched. Do it because you can damn it, do it for those of us who can't.

More to come about Nanny Nicole. A hit TV show. and other important need to know things about our lives.

Have you met my friend Charlie.....

horse that is ?
I have 2 calf muscles that feel like I ran a marathon. OUCH !

Saturday I had some irritable uterus contractions on and off all day. By 9:30 pm Saturday night they started coming every 2 minutes. I peed at 2:30 am....still every 2 minutes. By 4 am I got nervous and called after hours. By 5 am I was in labor and delivery hooked up to monitors, prepped for a catheter for a clean catch sample and reading The New Earth.
The contractions stopped the second they hooked me up, the catheter sucked but wasn't as bad as the last one I had to have with the boys, the exam was THE WORST I'd EVER HAD. I seriously have never been in so much pain during a physical exam before. The New Earth so far is BORING and tedious (ugh).
The intern told me that I was a finger tip dilated. All of my tests came back good and negative for infections etc. I was home by 9 am.

Follow up appointment today with doctor Hottie, who's on her way to Mexico for the week and try as I may she won't take me with her...you know, to monitor in case of more contractions :)
She tried to run a fibronectin test, a test to see if you will deliver in the next two weeks...a test I had to make sure my insurance covered and declined Sunday morning until I knew for sure......but because of my horrible exam yesterday there was blood and it would have given us a false positive or something.
GOOD news is, I am NOT dilated at all (finger tip shmingertip) and things look fine.
We caught Baby A licking the placenta, both still head down and ready to go.
I'm measuring 33 weeks....I'm huge. (pictures to come, my photographer is taking her nap)
There was talk about little sparkly lights and swollen feet and hands, but all in all things look good.

I hope everyone had a good Mother's Day !

***updated, well...she got my belly :)***

Fieldtrip

It is day 1 1/2 with Nanny Nicole. She's great.
She's quiet, easy going and slightly on the shy side.
My complete opposite.
Sydney ADORES her. The boys are fine with her. I'm here and so it makes it difficult for them to depend on her.
I think it's pushing things up a notch in so many ways more than slowing me down.
1) I have to shower every day.
2) I have to cook every day.
3) I have been doing things during the day that I normally wouldn't do at all because I have help.

The best thing is, she's very friendly and hangs with us all hours so if someone needs tending to, she doesn't stop because it's 5:30 pm. She really has been great.
I took Spencer to the grocery store. JUST SPENCER. Oh and I took Syd to the library. JUST SYDNEY. I don't have to worry about nap times. lunch times. cranky times. I can just leave any 'ol time I want. (calgon moment, birds chirping, creek water running in the background)

Speaking of #3. We took the kids to Sydney's first field trip. It was farm days.
They had a baby lamb(lambuelle is what we call them), pony's, horses, pigs, buffalo (bison). They did some roping and sheared a sheep.
Spencer LOVED the animals. Cam did not. Sydney was great and just followed along while Nicole chased thing one and I chased thing two.

24 weeks baby !


















Next goal. 4pm. today.
That would be when my NANNY NICOLE flies in ! WOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO !!!!
Can you actually feel my racing heart beat. This last week was the worst week thus far and I couldn't WAIT for this very day to arrive and here it is. HERE IT IS PEOPLE !!! Oh my blood pressure, whoa, light head.
I hope that whatever the hell is eating at my children will momentarily leave their little bodies so that Nicole doesn't reconsider staying with us over the summer.
(these are not sarcastic thoughts but real live scaredy cat feelings)

We had this long and wonderfully WARM weekend. We had date night, we played with family, we played with friends, my wife cleaned ! OMG my life is the BEST !

That's Cam's drink buddy, give it back. Cam DON'T PUSH ! Spencer DON'T HIT ! I'm sorry Spencer that isn't yours. Cam no. don't push, don't throw your drink, that will hurt someone. stop ! SPENCER STOP ! both of you, ENOUGH !
(announcer dudes voice : this was totally unscripted and can be heard all day between the hours of 6:30 am - 1 pm and then again at 3 pm - 8:30 pm. note : the mothers role stays the same however will sound more angry and louder between the hours of 3 pm- 8:30 pm )

NICOOOOOOOOOOLE !

This is real life !

Frig'n frackity ! It snowed this morning. The ground was covered but I didn't catch that shot in time. It's MAY FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY !














This is because more than not my life looks like this and not all the smiles that I normally blog !
This was from person to person. No pauses. Yes, EVERYONE was crying and pouting at the same time.

I'm SERIOUSLY pissed and yes as a matter of fact I DO have my sisters shoes on.














and now I assume the fetal postition making no eye contact.
I will reinact this in my many years of therapy when I grow up, only then will I add rocking, moaning and a bit of drool.














Will this pain and suffering NEVER END !!














A camera ? are you kidding me ?














(expletive, expletive)
















We have talked about letting Sadie our beloved 9 year old, PERFECT dog go live with someone else. She deserves so much more than what she's currently getting...which normally includes several brush offs, tripped over, yelled at and left alone. There are days that I don't remember even addressing her in a nice way or petting her or anything. and I have 2 more on the way.
I feel horrible because on one hand I can't imagine giving her away and on the other hand I honestly believe she deserves to be loved and cuddled and appreciated for being the PERFECT dog.
Sydney is not a big Sadie fan. She picks up her bad habits from us that include yelling, "NO SADIE. Go lay down. Go outside. GO GO GO."
I feel COMPLETELY responsible. In the last 2 weeks she's decided to take her for walks in the house and includes her in her pretend play. You know, putting headbands on her, locking her in her room/"the shop" and covering her with blankets.
Last night I mentioned in passing, letting Sadie live with someone else. and the conversation went like this :

Me :"What if Sadie went to live with someone else"
Syd:"NO ! We can't sell Sadie. If we sell her I won't have a pet."
Me :"Yes you would, you still have 2 fish."
Syd:"NO ! I want a cat"

I think we waited a week too long.