You tell me....

***Constructive criticism, motivation or just a kick in the front stomach***

Sydney, grabbing the very little, hardly noticeable, Goodyear Wrangler silent armor pro grade spare tire on my back and says, "Mom ! You have a stomach on your back"

***Regression or Pigs in a blanket***

A yard sale item that was at one time in her early year of life her favorite has now returned to being her BFF and constant companion. Piggy.
















regression...

















***Kept woman, honeymoons over after 11 years or affects of menopause***

J, "your hands aren't painted on"
In reference to the paint job on our front door a couple of years back that she herself did and didn't prep for and so now there are these annoying drops of paint on the cement in front of the door that I want off. (a thorn in my side, can you tell)

***No time, no energy or yes my arms are in FACT painted on***
















and lastly ***I'm just so damn happy I could lick your foreheads***

Congratulations to Keri and Cristy who just added the sweetest little baby girl to their family. If you've followed along with their story at all you will know that there is not a more deserving and better suited couple. Here's to sleeping girls.
I know they don't read here, but I am over the moon happy for T and A who just announced that they are pregnant and moving in to their 2nd trimester. Again...it couldn't have happened to a more rightful and great couple. Love you guys.

Tu me estas jodiendo

hola cabrones, I'll bet you've been asking, donde duneta has estado ?
I will tell you.
We had us a yard sale this weekend !!
We made $700.00 ! $700.00 for crap. "la verga!!!"

I want to tell all of you pendejo's out there. The one's who forward on all of the Mexican jokes. Who blame all of our economy's troubles on our tequila drinking friends. Those who feel like they are taking all of the money they make at our car washes, mowing your lawns and working in your husbands factory's and sending it back to Mexico to slowly drain the United States of all of our money. It's not. It's all being spent fri-sun driving around in their armada's and sequoia's from one neighborhood to the next following the bright colored signs with arrows and addresses, that barely hang from the poles they are wrapped around.
Yes, they are spending their money on all of your old crap. All of my old crap.

Now there wasn't JUST my Hispanic amigos that showed up. (although 75% couldn't bargain with me in English...we used fingers and hand signals to get the job done)
There were plenty of professional yard salers out and about Saturday.
They came by the car fulls. Some with sisters and cousins....some with children....some sent their husbands. All of them on a mission. Whoever finds and buys the most crap wins.

We were still left with lots of stuff. Some we will sell online, some we will send to the local salvation army/woman's shelter donation center.
Either way.....we can not only open the door but walk 2 feet in to our storage room now. aaaaaaaaaah

Leaving you with the music that's been banging...errr I mean....playing in my head.



















2 years ago !!!



















My osito's





















Just because they are fun !























Not to be left out.

















Proof that the laundry actually gets put away.

MOVIE REVIEW !! and some other little items.

I've been a little behind on my movie updates.
Ok, not so far behind because we haven't had time to watch many but here they are in no particular order.

Only for our gay movie viewers.

**I've heard the Mermaids Singing
Oh holy shit nightmare of a movie. I did not like this movie at all. The too quirky lead who was supposed to have you falling in love with her qwirky-ness had me clawing the skin off of my face, clear up until the end of the movie.
Quirky Asexual idiot falls in love with her new boss the older supposedly sexy sophisticated Art dealer (was one time a lesbian..whatever that means)
The storyline didn't draw me in at all and it was just sort of weird. There was that one girl kiss in it though. so of course they rated it R. The end left me feeling perplexed and disappointed

My opinion : slam your hand in the door instead.
**Saving face.Slightly worried that it was going to be in Chinese subtitles, but that was only to set up the characters background and family history right at the beginning.
Storyline : Cute 28 year old Chinese lesbian doctor meets very cute Chinese lesbian ballerina. Doctor comes from a very traditional Chinese family and then there is this twist with her mom (who is beautiful) and it's just a great movie.
It's rated R.

My opinion : watch it. it's a very feel good, love story.

**Loving Annabelle
Rebel girl is sent to Catholic school by her Senator mother. Dorm room mother and English teacher who is supposed to be hot and gets a little easier to imagine naked by the end, but just didn't do it for me...tries to staunch the strong and obvious advances rebel girl is putting on her.
The ending was not a good one for me and the wife. Watch it for yourself to decide what you think. Worth it even if the ending wasn't all that I had hoped for though.
The show is NR which means there was sex in it. Which means that my opinion is going to be a good one.

My opinion : Watch it. Great movie. Lots of sexual build up.
Did I mention it's 90 degrees today ?

















Does this look familiar ? I mean the background....the ambiance, the wrist band maybe ?
No. It's the SAME emergency room Nathan was in (when he broke or maybe broke it was never determined for sure, his leg)
Cameron decided to play with Mommy J's tools (right in front of us...yes we were both in the room) and dropped the electric drill on his foot. No pictures of the foot the batteries went dead in the camera after this amazing shot.

















He handled things quite well I must say. They cleaned it out (shot water at the speed of light in to it) took x-rays (to make sure there were no bones broken/bone chips/foreign bodies in there)
I'm certain that there are like 20 other rooms in that hospital. I wonder how many of them we'll get to visit several times over in the next 20+ years.
I know this...I'll be the one who has to take them in each and every time. J STILL has a hard time with blood and nearly passed out (she would say, got a little woozy) over this incident. Poor thing. (J I mean...no me.....wait, no Cam)

The drill bit that fell and stabbed his foot was exactly like this one. No it wasn't, it was actually this exact one.

















Better shot of the blade. OUCH !
















********UPDATED 3 1/2 hours later*********
Ohmafuckingawd !
sooo, Cameron woke up from his nap and proceeded to throw up 4 x's all over me/him/the glider/the ottoman/the carpet/the rug & everyone's pj's.
Spencer has a fever of 101.4.

SERIOUSLY ! I mean...is this like some freaking JOKE PEOPLE ! Like, we weren't sick for all of 2 whole FUCKING weeks.

okey dokey, whew, pardon me (straightening shirt, brushing fingers through hair) I'm off to finish mowing the lawn.

So I had hoped that by leaving the last post up, eventually the kids would start eating better just by your suggestions alone. Not so much.
THANK YOU all for your comments and all of your emails. Everyone had such great ideas. I am actually excited to start implementing those ideas in to stronger thoughts and then turning those thoughts in to even better ideas and then one day trying out those ideas on my sure to be disagreeable children.
OH BUT I WILL NOT GIVE IN !
Seriously. I am clearing my home of all of the crap and replacing it with things filled with vitamins and nutrients and then I'm going to offer them up to my children.
I LOVED the idea of showing them where the food comes from and including them in on the making of the foods. We do a bit of this as Spencer loves to help in the kitchen and it hasn't made him any better at eating the foods prepared, but we'll keep trying.
I want to try and find some animals (ie. horses, rabbits) to feed vegetables and some apples to. I feel like it will give me a better leg to stand on when we play horses and rabbits and hey I have an idea, lets EAT what horses and rabbits eat.
give me a break....I'm willing to try anything

Ok, the real reason I haven't blogged is because I haven't had the time.
I've been cleaning several rooms of carpets in my house, cleaning out that drawer that catches everything from nails to pencil shavings to pieces of mysterious extra parts. I have also been busily beavering out my garage.
Once unable to maneuver through to get to the cars or do the hand jive......we are now free to foxtrot and roam.
J took a picture of me "helping" I just want to point out how important I felt this was. You see J would just like to make fun of me, BUT, she is the SAME person who dropped the container of apple juice causing it to burst open at the seams spraying sugar concentrate all over my garage floor making me stick to it every time I went out to get something from the fridge/freezer/pantry. (yes the carpeted floor...it's soft and I go out there a lot and it traps dirt and cleans your feet before entering which is ANOTHER reason it needed to be cleaned and a good idea to be carpeted...go with me on this)
Needless to say the floor was cleaned and sadly the water retrieved once cleaned was not as filthy as the water from the other rooms cleaned inside my house.

















I can't talk about Jon and Kate and their decision to divorce. It makes my stomach sick. I want to lock them in a padded room together with Dr. Phil.
Beat this new found strength and sense of freedom back out of Jon and knock Kate down a few notches.
That's all I have to say about that.

I hope everyone is having a good summer. We're still enjoying spring around here although apparently summer is coming this week. It's suppose to be 80 today AND there's not a cloud in the sky.
That we are practically in July and haven't needed to water our lawn for more than a couple of days is awesome though.

What you can look forward to reading about over the next several weeks. Just a sneak peek. (and mostly a reminder and to do list for myself)
-the boys turn 3
-swimming lessons
-Syd starts kindergarten
-the babies turn 1
and immediately following this post - take Syd to gymnastics and the boys to the park.

GOOD HELL I HAVE A LOT OF SHIT TO DO ! WHY IN THE HELL AM I SITTING HERE TYPING. GAWD ! bye (wink)

Come one...come all...the Crunchier the better !

I really need advice and help. I mean REALLY. so even if you comment anonymously or email me your response. I REALLY people...did I emphasize the really part.
NEED YOUR HELP WITH THIS !
ok. so I've been reading. that's always scary because like Dr. Oz and the s-shaped poop lessons I am SUUUUUCKED in immediately and it all makes too much sense not to be true and damn it now how do I fix my current situation ?
I have you all on the edge of your seats now don't I ?

Ok so we, me and the wife, are starting a new little, just changing slightly, the way we eat plan. Ok fuck. DIET ! GAWD. I said it.
Now hold on while I drink the last swallow of my beer to wash down this Mother's pink circus cookie. (oh and who else is happy that Mother's cookies was saved from extinction) ANY WAYS !
as I obviously have a problem with it...this diet focuses on eating NO white sugar...that means NO white bread. NONE. not even if I'm eating at my favorite restaurant and the waiter happens to drop off some of that DELICIOUSLY good, fresh baked sour dough bread all crispity crunchy on the outside and soft and warm and oh so calling me on the inside. aaaand, I can't lather it in the little butter pads that they send with it...because my "new way of life" doesn't allow for it.
It's all about natural. fresh. the way God intended it.
No processed. No refined. No fast. No genetically altered. No THE BEST AND YUMMIEST FOODS AND PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING THAT I EAT NOW.

All of this reading has brought me to one conclusion. My FAMILY eats like shit.
My kids. My wonderful innocent children, who I love and try so hard to protect, eat CRAP. In fact, they refuse to eat almost anything healthy. Cameron and Spencer eat...almost corn, it has to be hidden for them to eat it...and that's it when it comes to vegetables and that's combined. Ok, that's JUST Cameron.
Spencer's vegetable of choice is potatoes and they have to be cut and fried.
Sydney who has always been my fantastic eater has now refused green beans recently. stating, "I don't like beans any more"
Lets add that to the carrots, broccoli and brussel sprouts (yes she loved them once) and she's down to celery, corn and peas.
The thing is. I offer them to all 3. at each meal I include healthy vegetables and fruits. They always remain on the plates when taken to the sink.
I won't go on with this stuff...I've complained about it all before.

I also read the Erin Brockovich of agriculture stories. speaking of crop cops and chemicals and antibiotics and agent orange and round-up resistant seeds that have been genetically engineered and food allergies. OMG your kids have a cough it's food allergies. asthma, it's food allergies. a rash, it's food allergies. and it's all a matter of time before they go into anaphylactic shock and die.
I feel this emergent urge to protect my children by growing a cow, chickens and vegetables from scratch and using them to raise me a farm in which chemists and the government have nothing to do with.

SINCE I cannot, I've decided to take steps in a healthier way of life for my children. baby steps. but not so baby as to only cut out the macaroni and cheese and hot dogs they tend to eat for lunch every 3rd day.
Working them in to an all natural diet may take some work...but I'm willing. If you will help me.

Now I would LOVE. LOVE IT ! if we could be all organic (NO, I'm not following Kate's successful leap in to an all organic diet. We've seen what happens when she goes out of town for business)
But I really would head to the all organic store and buy everything that had pictures of Cow's in pastures sitting in lawn chairs with sun glasses on. My problem is the cost. SHIT DAMN HOLY SON OF A BITCH. $6.00 for a gallon of organic milk. SIX BUCKS. Ok, six bucks doesn't seem all that bad...until I tell you how much milk my 3 kids drink a day and how I have 2 more on their merry little way in only a couple of months. GOOD HELL ! EVERYTHING is SOOOO much more expensive when it's good for you. And I totally get why. I just can't afford it 100%.

Tell me how to get started ? Tell me what you feel is the most important part of eating natural and right ? If you could only do ONE or TWO things right when it came to feeding your kids organically (no we are not eating tofu) what would you change ?

Meat. Dairy. Grain. Sugar substitute. Cereal.

Also. Is there a favorite treat in your home that you would like to share that will taste great for little people who are used to high fructose corn syrup being the number one main and trusted ingredient ? Maybe something without a picture of a farm or grazing animals ?

It all seems so big a task. It all seems like something I'm going to need a personal dietitian for...most likely new kids.
OR....some help from my Internet connections. You know who you are. :)

Here's to a future of S-shaped poops for one and all !

Captured Moments

First, we have been waving for a week. We can't stand how cute Ryan is when he says, "haaaaaaay" when he waves. You can hear it when he waves the ball. This eye candy is made of 100% meltable chocolate. melts your heart, not in your hands.

Second, we thought this would have come sooner. He's still working on it but goes for it each and every time. He will even fall and push himself up to standing and then walk again.
Ryan has better balance and could probably be running by now if it weren't for that cautious thing he's got going on. :)

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

The older three were keeping themselves very busy in moms room. They throw everything off of the bed and play.
We are still trying to figure out how to mold these qualities Sydney holds.
(as I typed this, Sydney came to tell me that she put Mommy J in time out)

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Movie Madness I tell ya, MADNESS !

My revues and suggestions continue.

For our gay friendly audience.....
Movie :
**Losing Chase
It's a showtime/Hallmark movie. I think that says it all.
Oh and it was PG...maybe 13 because there was that one tiny little girl on girl peck in it. oh and the uncomfort of watching her son catch them do it is a mood buster. ugh.
DON'T TELL ME IT'S A GAY MOVIE IF THERE'S ONLY THAT ONE LITTLE PECK ! GAWD !
Not that we're looking for porn or anything but this movie was long and then that was it.
Kyra Sedgwick was in it and I love her and TiVo the Closer so I thought it a wise choice. She was the only thing really good in the movie. yes I still love her.

My rating
Why bother !

Movie :
**Show me Love
Swedish film. subtitled.
It was a Swedish version of The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love.
high school romance. cute.

My rating
Why not. (if you are a good reader, better yet if you know Swedish :)

Movie :
**Imagine Me and You
This is a mix between Kissing Jessica Stein and Notting Hill
Piper Perabo is in it. remember, she is in Cheaper by the Dozen, Coyote Ugly.
ANY WAYS. I have to say that this movie was a little harder for me to swallow.
I was ACTUALLY for the first time in my life cheering for the straight boy to get the girl.
(he was an EXTREMELY nice guy)
That being said. It was a cute movie. Love at first sight crap. Pg-13.
oh and it's especially good if you love the Turtles. and I do ! :)
My rating
Rent it. you're gay aren't you !

Not gay movies.
Movie :
**No Reservations
I love Catherine Zeta-Jones. Not this movie

My rating
I would watch it if I were sick and it was on TV and there wasn't a re-run of Will and Grace or Family Feud on. I'd flip between it and Golden Girls for sure.

Movie :
**Up
THE BEST movie. SO cute. Loved all of the characters.
My boys were entertained. That says a lot.
We all enjoyed it.

My rating
We will buy this and add it to our library of scratched and skipping DVD's.

Next up...I've heard the Mermaids Singing. We have it. Haven't watched it. Maybe tomorrow night.

This is catch up time on items not discussed after the first time I posted and now I barely remember what happened.

Let's start with :
Speech therapy is going. We are to the point where the therapist (Becca) says..."Spencer, say Cat" putting the emphasis on the T. Spencer says, "cah"
So Becca says, "t-t-t, see my tongue, t. Can you say t" and Spencer repeats, "t" and the she says, "GOOOD. Now say, cat-t" and Spencer happily repeats, "cah"
If you ask him to repeat the individual sound...age appropriately he can do it. But to put them together seems to be his biggest challenge.
The GREATEST thing is...he's making up his own form of sign language. SSL we call it. He will tell you a story about the BIIIIG "bubo" (spider) in his room on the ceiling and while doing it will crawl his fingers up your arm, his arm or the furniture by you.
He will also rub his stomach and exaggerates his facial expression while telling you he's "gungy" (hungry). "I gungy mama".

Cam on the other hand has graduated without graduating from the program. Becca doesn't even work with him any more. She stays focused on Spencer and if Cameron rings in, which he always does she acknowledges him with a "good Cam"
He really doesn't need it any more and is talking more and pretty clearly now.

Next item :
Spencer peed in the big potty last night. Peed on cheerios. Stood up and everything. We put him in his t-rex underpants, gave him a ton of juice and waited. I impatiently kept asking him if he needed to go. I didn't want him to miss the opportunity. not for the mess but I wanted to dance and sing and give him a sucker. We did.
Question ?
Do you teach them to hold it themselves at this point? I ended up grabbing it, which stopped the flow for a second (I think it made it nervous), and then helped him while he finished. Otherwise it was an unattended fire hose whipping around spraying the bathroom.
(ok so my description was more for his ego when he gets older...but you get what I mean)
He got a sucker and five B-bucks.
Cam has no desire and when offered says simply, "no thank you"

and Finally :
Speaking of...the b-bucks program is working out WONDERFULLY.
They all totally get it and it has helped a TON !
They work the system by being overly nice to the other one and then look up at me with a beseeching smile. but you know what ? I don't care, they are being nice to each other. fake it all you want. as long as they are nice...they will be rich.
The best part is when Spencer came in and told me, "cah-cah, ah b-buh, ah sheh" which translates to "Cam-Cam (what he calls him) ah b-bucks, ah share" telling me that Cameron had shared and earned a b-bucks.
They all come to tell me when someone is worthy in their minds of a b-bucks.

It also helps end fights and poor behavior when they are threatened with the b-bucks.
The have enjoyed shopping with them and paying for their own ice cream cone or movie and popcorn.
I HIGHLY recommend this to anyone who is looking for a program to follow.

Pictured below. our b-bucks. and a picture I felt inspired to put together but didn't work out.
Yes this was a pea pod that had 7 peas in it. I've been eating peas by the HANDFULS the last week. A local farmers market sells them and I can't get enough. no they don't cause diarrhea even when consumed by the pounds. unfortunately
Something came up as it tends to do with 5 little people and I had to leave the pea pod. When I returned with the time to take the picture I envisioned, the pod was all dried and crispy. Sadly I probably could have found another one, but the peas had all been eaten by moi. not a one left.

These boots were made for walking.....

..and that's just what they'll do...and if there's 2 boys cute enough they'll walk all over you !






















There is a story behind these pictures below. You see, after the team boot walk they crashed on the carpet and began wrestling.
It only takes one elbow jab to the head and someone starts to cry.
Spencer then lovingly put his hand on Cam's face and said, "ok ? saw-ee"
And the BEST and most greatest thing is that I was able to catch it all on Camera.
Such sweet boys.
















(elbow jab)

















Does this scare me ? naaaah. I think given the selection this bag was the best possible choice to go with these boots. Nice job buddy !

Driving Miss Pound.stone !

I would like to be able to fill you in on all of the proud things I did this weekend as Gay Pride fell upon Utah.

We didn't load the kids up Sunday and take them through or even to the parade. We didn't walk around the city building looking at random booths and saying hi to old acquaintances. We didn't go bar hopping and drink WAAAAAY too much.
Nope. J mowed the lawn and I went scrapbooking.
WTF !
I know. I know.

What did you do that had anything to do with being gay this weekend you ask ?
Well I dry humped Paula Pound.stone's leg.
Ok, I ASKED her if I could dry hump her leg.
I really did talk about it, but once I met her I knew that it would in fact be a very dry and parched hump.

My DEAREST friend Kelly gets to pick up the headliners every year for pride.
When she told me that it was going to be Paula I immediately asked if I could go too.
I've seen her perform several times. live and on TV. love her. She is so funny and witty and smart and great.
She agreed due in part to the fact that she had no clue who Paula even was.

We picked her up at the airport Saturday afternoon...delivered her to her hotel....picked her up from her hotel that evening and delivered her to the pride festival. We then got to enjoy the show and finally loaded her back in to the car that took her back to the hotel.
I'm not going to get in to the details of what took place that day. I won't even tell you what my assessment of Miss Pound.stone was.
I will share this with you this...she was the middle bun, top patty and special sauce short of a big mac.
I'm just sayin'.

As my friend put it. She is an introvert.
As I put it. An introvert with her buns, meat and sauce missing. Maybe not the sauce. :-O (oh no you didn't just go there)
I will say this. off stage...cuckoo. on stage...BRILLIANT ! and that's all that matters.

ANY HEW. From one famous person to another......I know how hard it is to be judged (clearing throat) so I will not place any judgement on her.
(wink,big smile)

Some of the posts that didn't make it.

**Death on the freeway.
Spencer put an Ant on his carpet road and then ran over him 3-5 times with his bright yellow car. (that's not what actually killed him...what killed him is when Mr. Ant made it off of the road carpet while Spencer was winding his way around the road and Spencer picked him up and put him, ok rubbed him back on to the road)
He said with tilted head in his own words that he didn't look out for cars. :) ha ha

**One down, one to go.





















**Jimmy crapped wheat and I don't care, Jimmy crapped wheat and I don't care.
Cameron LOVES mini wheats. He eats them every time cereal is offered for breakfast.
That's GREAT. Much better than the captain crunch Spencer chooses. Problem is, when it comes out, it makes for at LEAST a 10 wipes diaper change. (and I'm a trained professional...I can clean up a blow out with 2 wipes) Those little wheat rolls are worse than sand to get off of tooshies.
(no pictures. you are welcome)

**This is like hiding vegetables only Hiding bananas. hiding it under o-lot-o sugar. can't it still be considered good for them ? no ?

















**Lesbian movies with the word Finger in the title
It's a mix between Jane Eyre and the L-word. Age of Innocence meets Claire of the moon. Secret Garden and Desert Hearts. only better. We watched Fingersmith last night.
Now don't go all thinking that because the word finger is in the title that there is some nasty meaning to it. A Fingersmith is a thief. someone who is good with their fingers. REALLY good.
SUCH a good movie. It's 3 hours long...has an intermission...we were up every 10 minutes during the 2nd half with a crying child and we still really enjoyed it.
Honestly. Rent it. buy it. You won't be disappointed. It's a good one !

** Leaving you with a cute picture of my favorite little men in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD !!

A game of peek a boo

When I grabbed the camera I was sure he would move on and wouldn't play with me. I've been wrong before. That one other time. maybe twice before I can't really remember, it's all a little foggy as to who was actually right. Either way, I'm pretty sure I said that I was right.
Now for Ryan.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

He's not as adventurous as his brother (which for me is a blessing most days)but what Ryan lacks in bravery he makes up for in adorability for SURE !

What goes up must learn to get down.

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Nathan can finally get down. He is big in to getting up, but once stuck would scream for someone to help him down. I noticed him up on Cam's bed a few times walking by their room and then a few minutes later I'd see him crawling around....I wondered if he wasn't just throwing himself over the edge. (it wouldn't have surprised us, we don't call him tank for nothin') but alas....he was climbing down all by himself.
These are the kinds of milestones we celebrate at our house :) Look he is spitting the wood chips out instead of trying to soak and swallow them. HEY, he's figured out that if you lead with your head you'll make it safely from one couch to the other.
You go boy !