Swimming lessons, take 2

WOW ! what a difference a day makes. Both boys went back to swimming lessons and (vibrato)LOOOOOOOVED it.
They got right in and had to be told, too many times, to keep their bums on the stair. Spencer especially. He liked playing shark with Cameron and would go underwater and crawl along the stair to him, only coming up for a breath of air and then returned down under water.













dun-a dun-a dun-a dun-a....









Cameron like his little brother was more interested in the laay-deez !
"Hi, whatcher name be ? You know, I'm a natural blonde too."

















"Cam, can you put your eyes in the water and blow bubbles"
Ya, not so much my eyes, but here's your bubbles.





















and of course the diving board !









































This is what the rest of us do while the boys pee and then swallow the water and collect numbers from the hot teachers.

















See the lady in the blue shirt. The one with the lips and boobs. and I don't mean, HEY, look at her lips and boobs...that just happens to be all you can see of her.
ANY WAYS ! She has a set of 5 year old twin boys. There was a 2 lbs difference when they were born. Now there is a 14 lbs difference. They look 2 years difference in age. It was WILD. One was at least a foot taller than the other one.
It was interesting and fun talking to her. Of course IVF came up and luckily she too had successfully conceived her older son and the twins with it.
I got a real "family" vibe from her but then she spoke about tying her tubes to prevent future pregnancies.
Ah, who knows, I tell people that I had my tubes tide this last round too. But I SWEAR these are J's children. They HAVE to be. It was a preventative measure for us too :)

Sydney has 2 mommies

I came out today. TWICE !
I had Sydney's kindergarten screening.
The teacher recognized Sydney to be both competent and brilliant. ahem, ahem.
And then we sat together and she went over goals for this year and I said, "I wanted to talk to you about our family. Sydney has a unique family, she has a mama and a Mommy J." I had already filled out all of the necessary paper work, crossing out the word dad and changing it to mom.

I looked at this sweet, kindergarten teacher and religious, grandmother and her face only changed slightly. She smiled and said, "thank you for telling me"
(inside I breathed a sigh of relief...I DID it. It's over)
I took the opportunity to not count her a fool and added, "I'm sure you've taught other families like ours, but I thought it important to mention. you know, in case something comes up on the playground."
She smiled again and said, "Is her other family involved ?"
I wondered if she assumed that I must have been married to make Sydney and then hopped the fence. (not unheard of, and she did seem a little sheltered)
"What do you mean ? Is Mommy J's family involved ? Who's family ?"
She sweetly asks, "Who's mommy J ?"
I then realized she had no idea what I had said to her only moments ago....she thought Sydney had step parents. I clarified, "My partner. Sydney has 2 mommies."
Her eyes only lifted and her same nervous smile returned and she replied simply with, "oh yes. Thank you for telling me"

I went on to tell her that Sydney is fine with having 2 moms and that there was a great book, Molly's Family by Nancy Garden, about a kindergartner who has 2 moms and how the teacher deals with the issues that comes up about 2 moms one day before family day.
She jotted down the title and that was that. Well there was a little more, but that was it.

I came out. not once, but twice.
Practice for the MANY years to come with the kids in school.
Each year a new teacher and a new nervous smile. Maybe we'll get lucky. Maybe they will get open minded teachers. Maybe one day it won't matter.
HEY. we're all setting goals. we can hope. right ?

Here we are at kindergarten orientation Tuesday. I have high high hopes this year. I can't believe my baby is in kindergarten. 5 days and she will put on her backpack and walk a block away to learn and make new friends.

The last of the first hair cuts !

Just a clean up. Both boys were great. Neither of them cried or even pulled away.
Nathan kept trying to give Eskimo kisses to his hairdresser and Ryan wanted to see what everyone else was doing....over all....great experience.

Nathan


















flirting with the hairdresser...he's always had a thing for blondes. and brunettes. and......he doesn't really discriminate when it comes to the ladies.










































Ryan

Geesh, what a pain in my neck !

Before I go in to meningitis and swimming lessons I have to ask the question.
WHY ? WHY is it that you can shave your legs and cut several places on smooth, soapy, flat service skin but when TRYING to cut the skin tag from under your armpit the blade just gliiiiides right over it ? flips it. plays with it, if you will.
Oh and just for your in4-1-1...if you tie a string around a skin tag. It hurts. BAD and it will cauliflower out and turn dark pink, then darker pink, then purple and then kind of a blackish purple before it falls off (like 2 weeks later). (note : a new and harsher pain comes with each shade of color change)

Ok.
Syd said that the back of her neck hurt on Friday.
I just figured she hurt it playing.
Saturday she complained again but we were on mini vacay and we all just brushed it off.
Her eyes had been swollen a little. I thought it was an allergy to something.
Sunday she got a fever. 103.2. neck hurt.
Sunday nap time she had what I can describe as a small night terror during nap time. burning up 103.2 on Tylenol.
Sunday evening. getting ready to eat dinner. she had yet ANOTHER "night terror" only she was awake. lasted 5 minutes. She would say she was afraid of something on the floor and ask where she was.
I called the doctor on call at about 7pm. He called me back at 6:30 this morning. (ANY WAYS) he said he didn't get my message. and you thought you should call me back NOW. at 6:30 am. are you friggin' kidding me.

After I made the call to after hours...J took her outside to see if she would snap out of whatever she was in. Her fever was down at the time to 101.1 so I didn't think that it was a fever induced hysteria or anything. (I don't know if that is a real term...I just made it up :)
She acted better and her fever kept coming down...this morning it was fine. Although she did have another bad nightmare this morning.
I talked to my mom last night and she said....."You know, one of the signs of meningitis is neck pain"
I googled it and it scared the SHIT out of me. She met nearly every symptom.
Either way. Today my doctor said watch for the signs to come back.
Her neck is fine. no fever. acting normal. eyes still a little swollen but otherwise great.
WEW !

The boys had swimming lessons today. first time. alone. in a pool with a perfect stranger teacher.
Cam screamed nearly the whole time. Spencer only screamed when it was his turn and then screamed on his way out and was fine on his way back.
Both boys jumped to her from the side at the end and each got a sucker for making it through their first lesson.
Cam said 5 minutes before it was over, "I'm happy mama !" and then cried when it was time to leave.
Cute.

Our vacation spot....20 minutes north.

We took a holiday. on a holiday. You see, the 24th of July is our founders day. and you know the rest...founders keepers.

We decided to hit a local hotel about 20 minutes from our house.
The hotel came complete with a one bedroom suite, a full kitchen and a DVD player AND a water park. (well a large pool sectioned off in to 4 areas with a 180 foot slide and a splash and spray kiddie area)
There is a theater next to the hotel with a mini amusement park inside.
The babies went to my parents house for a few hours so that we could take the kids to G-force (very cute) and go on a few of the rides.
We played for 2 days.
Today. we relax.
Oh and defrost the freezer in the garage.

Mommy J worked while playing. or maybe she was calling someone to say, "get me off of this crazy train"

















"I want the Dragon....I want the Dragon....I want the Draaaaa-goooon"


















"I'm on the Dragon, I'm on the Dragon, I'm on the Dragon hey-hey-hey-hey"




















The ONLY way to travel. (if you happen to forget duct tape)






















Some shoot hoops, I shot the kids.






















Ring around the rosey, pool style.



















Sydney exiting the 180 foot slide. Did I go on the slide you ask ???????

















Blurry proof....

A whirlwind.......

of family, weddings, hair and the ongoing, no end in sight...diarrhea.

J's nephew was married on Tuesday. We've had family staying at the house and visiting. It's been a busy and wonderful week.
The kids played with their California and Seattle cousins and had a ball.
It was SOOO nice to have family want to help and play with babies. All they did was carried them around all day. How relaxing. I WISH they lived closer.





















I did Syd's hair in a fancy updo....she looked gorgeous.
She continues to talk of marrying her friend Nate. She was concerned in the car on the way back, saying..."What if he doesn't want to marry me ?"
If she knew what a catch she was, she wouldn't worry at all. ;-)

Without further ado.....

I wanna kiss you all over...and over again. Til the night closes in.
Til the night closes i-i-i-n.

Looking out on the morning rain I used to feel uninspired
And when I knew I had to face another day
Lord, it made me feel so tired
Before the day I met you, life was so unkind
But your love was the key to peace my mind

Blue eyes laughing in the sun
Laughing in the rain
Baby's got blue eyes
And I am home, and I am home again

Love, soft as an easy chair
Love, fresh as the morning air
One love that is shared by two
I have found with you
Like a rose under the April snow
I was always certain love would grow
Love, ageless and evergreen
Seldom seen by two
You and I will make each night the first
Everyday a beginning


HAPPY BIRTHDAY J. I hope you get lucky ;-)

When you're the batter up to hit
And you have to take a shit
That's diarrhea, diarrhea

When you're sliding into first
And your pants begin to burst
That's diarrhea, diarrhea

When you're sliding into two
And your pants are filled with goo
That's diarrhea, diarrhea

When you're sliding into third
And you feel a greasy turd
That's diarrhea, diarrhea

When you're sliding into home
And your pants are filled with foam
That's diarrhea, diarrhea

When you're drivin in your Chevy
And you feel somethin' heavy
That's diarrhea, diarrhea

When you're climbin a tree
and your arse begins to pee
That's diarrhea, diarrhea

When you're stomach starts to hurt
and you start to get the squirts
That's diarrhea, diarrhea

No. This isn't me bragging.
UNFORTUNATELY this bug has effected my children though.
The babies are the last of the little guys and lets just say we have scrubbed carpets and bedding and clothes for 3 days now. UGH !

Here are a few I came up with just for you.
If you have any to share, please feel free :)

When you're sittin in your diaper
and nothin has smelt riper
That's diarrhea, diarrhea

When it bubbles up your back
and hits the floor with a smack
That's diarrhea, diarrhea
-OR-
It gives your butt a rash
hits the floor with a splash
It's diarrhea, diarrha

When it looks like smashed peas
Don't eat it please
It's diarrhea, diarrhea

We eat, we love, we still poop like deer ! (well I do )

Alright, now I'm NOT trying to sell you on this diet. but seriously people. you should do this diet.
My wife could not be a healthier eater. (and by healthier I mean the girl can eat)Any of you who know J will testify to this.
There's not a food she doesn't love and there's never been a time that she didn't think it was ok to eat it.
She can eat a meal and be COMPLETELY STUFFED. Full to the brim. and will ask me what is on the menu for dinner the next day. Oh yes she can. SICK to her stomach and can PLAN HER NEXT MEAL PEOPLE.
We have two jokes between us. Passer here Percy.(line from the movie, Corina Corina) and or course, eat through it.
And BOY have we eaten through it.

My point to all of this is......she's not hungry. She barely eats and she's not hungry. Neither am I....but I can go in to starvation mode sometimes and not really feel it. aaaaand she wants to keep doing it.
THIS IS HUGE !!!!! If I could make money off of this I would be RICH !
The doctors claim is that if you feed your body the nutrients it needs you won't crave other foods. and I'll be a mules calloused ass it works. makes sense right.
We both have to MAKE ourselves eat and we are hardly eating.

Example, J's food today.
**For breakfast she had nonfat, all natural pukey ass yogurt (1 cup) with frozen blueberries and green tea.

**She had 12 almonds and a v8 for snack/lunch (didn't eat lunch....not good...usually it is a spinach salad with a hard boiled egg, apples and baked walnuts with fresh lemon juice mixed with a little bit of virgin olive oil on top...sooo yummy)

**And then for dinner we had chicken stir fry. (broccoli, carrots, celery, red and yellow bell peppers, onions, garlic, sesame oil/flax seed oil, mushrooms and garlic) IT WAS DELICIOUS !
more green tea and a few cherries.

The foods on this diet are awesome. Most mornings he wants you to eat a yolkless fritata but because J works I've only dragged my ass out of bed and fixed it for her once. or an omelet (yes you can have a little cheese)

The plan goes like this. You eat pretty strict- no sugar, breads, nothing but fresh fresh fresh, and some meats/fish, for the first 2 weeks.
The next 2 weeks he loosens his grip on you a bit and lets you have rice(I think)and some other foods.
After that it's the maintenance plan. He gives you the foods you can eat for the rest of your life. which includes whole wheat breads and pastas.
I could do this.
You could do this.

(note : I just had J proof read this. agree and sign off on it as it might seem harsh to speak of someones food addiction without their written approval. She wanted me to add. She has gone 2 weeks without a diet coke. TWO WEEKS (pulling at the sides of my hair) DO YOU HEAR WHAT I'M SAYING HERE. and she's fine.
(woo. I'm beat. you have no idea how much energy I put in to this post)

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE ! If you want to eat better and lose weight.....without feeling starving....this is the diet for you.
I am not making this shit up.....and no, I won't make a DIME if you do it.
Well unless you pay me the dime.
Shoot....I think everyone who participates should pay me a dime for every pound lost. Sound good. :)

(as for the before and after shots....we took before shots. naked. against a wall. and no. NOBODY will EVER and I repeat. E-V-AH-AH see those pictures. Well unless you come to my house...they are hanging on the fridge, bathroom mirrors and the cookie jar :)

Speaking of pictures. and big belly's.
Pool party !!!
Ry-guy and Nate

Eyes of the Heart

Just an update from this post.

By order of age : Sydney, Spencer, Cameron, Nathan, Ryan.














and then of course the mom's. I think it makes sense.

How ya like them apples

Days on diet - 8
Poundage lost - 8
Times cheated - 2 times (I ate a single whole grain wheat thin both times)
Times I've wanted to cheat - All of day 3, the boys birthday, Imani's birthday, today's lunch. (cheese sandwiches & bean and bacon soup)
Days left before allowed processed food - 5 (after the 2 week program before moving on to the next 2 weeks we are allowing ourselves a meal out)

Yes I've lost 8 lbs. Now that would be FABULOUS if I hadn't gained 6 in preparation for this diet. That isn't a lie either. I gained 6 lbs in the 2 weeks leading up to this diet. I ate at EVERY single one of my favorite places and then some of J's.
I'm down 2 lbs from my lowest after the babies birth. I'm hoping to go another 10-12 lbs. If I can even lose a total of 15 lbs I will be THRILLED.

A couple of things about this diet. (we are following "The Fat Resistance Diet, by Leo Galland, M.D.")
He says in the book that if you follow his advice your body will feel the rewards...such as skin, hair, energy, joint pain, diabetes, menstrual crampage.
My family holds the patent on period cramps. We miss work, miss school, miss life because of them. Female members of my family have BEGGED to have their insides cut out. Only a couple have succeeded. Yes it's that bad.
Either way.....this cycle. NO CRAMPS ! nothing.
Also, he says you won't crave sugar. I don't. I haven't wanted it at all.
I still craved and wanted the pizza that was served at last nights birthday party. I WANTED IT B-A-D ! So the craving for breads hasn't gone away.
The other thing is, I still poop like one of Santa's reindeer. Hasn't done anything in that department. No soft s-shaped poop for me. WTF.
Over all though....it's been pretty great. We don't feel starving. It's been easier and better for us than weight watchers was.

The worst part of this diet is...the cost. Everything has to be fresh and I did go organic on a few items.
And then the prep time. SHIT. It's not like cooking when you are cooking with all fresh ingredients.
I'm talking I'm peeling and mincing garlic and ginger. Yes, the root. and I'm chopping basil and parsley and rosemary and thyme. And squeezing lemons. GOOD HELL I've never had to squeeze so many lemons and limes in my LIFE.
The recipes he provides are great, they taste wonderful and I've learned some new things too.
I've also learned that non fat, natural yogurt is the MOST disgusting thing ever. EVEN if you blend up tons of yummy blueberries and even strawberries in it. YUCK !
And green tea with cloves and cinnamon does not make a delicious chai tea. GECH !
I have just been drinking the green tea straight. (I'm not a tea drinker so it's even harder for me)

I highly recommend this book and diet for anyone who wants to lose and maintain a good weight in a healthy way.
J seconds me on this and has lost 9 lbs herself.

Three's company, 2's a crowd !

My boys are 3 ! It came so fast that I didn't have time to object or demand they stay 2.













We decided to just have a family birthday party this year. We had cake and ice cream at grandma and papa's.


Mommy J bought them 2 little 4-wheelers that Sydney appreciated a couple of weeks ago. J can't contain herself nor her presents so they've had them for a while.


Sunday morning Cameron asked to go to the Zoo. How do you say no to that. Off we went.
















It was overcast and perfect and other than that little incident when I bled all over my shorts without a tampon to spare it was GREAT ! yes I did. ALL OVER. ok, there were some noticeable spots. I asked one of the female zoo officials if they sold tampons and she instead gave me one of her own. it was a teenager size and my verjaynus laughed at me when I put it in, but you do what you have to do.
After wrapping and winding 1/2 of a roll of toilet paper around my panties I threw the diaper bag over my shoulder (to cover the blood stains) and pushed through.
Ok so we were at the end of our trip and took our train ride, which was the boys favorite part) I guess next time while packing spare outfits for the kids, I need to include one for myself. (hysterical laughing) like I pack extra clothes for the kids. HA HA HA HA HA HA that's funny. ha ha ha


Any ways. My boys are three. They talk like they are 2. Well Cam is coming along. They both qualified for the local pre school where in that they will get 30 minutes of one on one speech therapy a week.

We had their final IEP meeting Thurs. The lady pulled out their test scores and gasped that OMG gasp and exclaimed, "WOW !" Which of course pounded several species of butterflies in my stomach. She followed it up with, "these are GREAT scores" . Really. great...good for my boys.

There were several conversations with supervisors and their supervisors after that, figuring out why they "qualified" for the preschool program. I sat quietly, hoping that they wouldn't figure us out....we were faking the whole thing. and after talking back and forth they agreed that they would "qualify" on their speech alone. (I feel relieved that there are no other reasons that they would need to qualify)


Potty training was a bust. They are simply not ready yet. The only sign they show that makes them ready is that they in fact can pee and poop. This may bug other people but it doesn't bother me one bit.


Cameron continues to be the protector. Spencer my peacemaker. Well that's until they switch on me.


Making it to three sometimes feels more like a step machine workout. No matter how many steps I take they just keep coming at me. I don't see an end to the work any where in my near future. I just hope that we can make it over a few more climbing hills and then flatten out leaving me at a comfortable pace....with maybe a few fans blowing the sweat off of my face.....and a cold beer in my cup holder.


cute story :

Cameron and Spencer being ABSOLUTE nightmares. Me, JUST dropped my last straw that I had between my teeth.

Me : "Cameron and Spencer, I'm going to beat you"
Cameron : "Mark, set, GO !" and off he runs. to, you know, beat me. so much for instilling the fear of God in them.


I love these boys. Love every ounce of them. Happy 3rd Birthday boys !!!! (I hope you/we make it to 4 :)
Spencer and Cameron on their papa's "mo-oh cycle" One of their favorite places to be.

Just in time for the weekend.

Ok, so here are a few movie reviews for those of you looking for something to do this weekend.
I'm hopeful that my reviews give you a jaded and unclear idea of what you are getting yourself in to.
(note : the reviewer on this page is not held responsible for different opinions and wasted time and money)

Ice Age Dawn of the Dinosaurs
Queen Latifah's voice is in it.
This movie is HILARIOUS ! My kids LOVED it, even my boys....there was enough scary dinosaurs to keep their attention but not so much that they had nightmares for nights following. The movie, as are most of the kids movies, written for adults to enjoy.

My opinion : MUST SEE ! Queen Latifah's voice is in it.

Hangover
A guy his 2 best friends and his mentally impaired brother-in-law take him to Vegas for his bachelor party. Things happen. We laughed. HARD. I can't tell you any more.

My opinion : Must See ! Even if to see the wedding singer in the end. Oh and the naked Chinese guy.

Watermelon Woman
WTF ! This is a documentary style film about a woman looking for a famous black woman in an old film. There is a part in it where she falls in love with a white woman and the issues with falling in love with a different race arise.
I could make a better movie with my cell phone.

My opinion : I would rather watch Titanic on replay for 3 days.

My summer of Love
The story of two young women. One rich, one poor. Both with a story to tell. Fall in love.

My opinion : I liked this movie. I will say it was a little weird. but worth it if you have nothing else to do.

Late Bloomers
OMG. This is honestly the TRUE story of how two women came together in the 90's. Now I don't know this for sure...but while watching it I kept saying, this is based on a true story. It has to be. It was too real and not all L-wordy Hollywood at all.
The characters will remind you of someone you knew or know.

My opinion : Watch it. It's very sweet in a this will remind you of someone you knew or know kind of way. (keep lower expectations for sure on this one)


I don't know if it's because I had absolutely no expectations as they were only given 1 1/2 stars...or if it's because I was in an easy mood for these last 2 movies but they weren't sooooo bad.

And there you have it. Just in time for the weekend.
Oh and I've heard that the Proposal is good.

Over zealous.....maybe

stupid....for sure.

Today is day 2.
Day 2 of our all natural, no sugar, no processed, nothing but green tea and water, diet.
Other than the green tea part. oh and not being able to eat sugar and processed....I'm doing SWELL !

As for the kids.....Spencer ate strawberries. PLAIN, FRESH, not wrapped in granola or blended with sugary yogurt. Oh yes he did.
Also, if I can figure out how to put all vegetables on a cob I believe I can get my boys to eat anything.
Corn on the cob = big hit.
Well the first day it was


















Also day 2 of naked boys-r-us.
I'm attempting to potty train the boys. They have remained naked other than nap and bedtime.
They've both successfully peed outside, in the garage, on my floor and in the toilet and then on my floor again.
Cam pooped on the glider in his room.
(this picture was not staged)


















This is day 2 and 2 days closer to the end of the binky era at our house.
We are phasing out binkys. I'm taking it out of their little control.
Binkys were supposed to stay in bedrooms and it was a constant fight and repeated reminders, "binky's in bedrooms, put your binky in your bedroom, binky is going in time out if I see it again !"
Lots of sweat and tears.
They are now in a locked box. The key under my left bosom. (only because that's where it ends up after I drop it down the middle)
I get them out when they are in their beds ready for nap time and bed time. This goes for the babies too.




I'm not saying it. I'm not saying it out loud. I won't even go there. but if I were to just sum up day 2, I would say....."pretty good"

protect your computers people.....drool will be exuding from your mouths.....don't say I didn't warn you.
Nate and Ryan
















******update update update*******
Ryan who we've managed to get to take 1 or 2 steps but then grabs for your hands or then lowers himself slowly to his toosh.....took 7 steps. SEVEN. He just walked, stopped, walked. I knew he had great balance this kid. SUCH A BIG DAY FOR HIM !!!
Now if they just don't go in two different direction when running from me.

You said what ?

Sydney, "mom, can you marry your friend ?"
Me, "I hope you do marry your friend."
Sydney, "you CAN marry your friend ?"
Me, "yes. It is important to marry someone you are friends with...other wise you end up with a marriage like your Uncle Brian and Aunt Liz."
Sydney, "Do you looove your friend."
Me, "One day you will fall in love with someone....and hopefully, they will also be your friend too."
Sydney, "I'm going to marry Nate. (not her brother nate, a neighbor nate) Because he is my friend and I love him in my heart. a lot."
Me, "he's a really nice boy. good choice Syd."
(plus...he lets her boss him around)

Cameron, sitting on top of our counter looking at a family picture. "ah daddy."
Me, not fully understanding what exactly it was he said, "Do you see Cameron and Spencer."
Cameron, "ah daddy ?"
Me, "nope. there's no daddy."
Cameron, "Cam ah sad." lowering his face a little.
Me, "I'm sorry you are sad buddy"

Spencer, "maaaaw-awm, Ca-ca (Cameron) ah rih ah booh"
Me, running.
Spencer, tilted head pointing at Cameron and the several pages of the library book ripped and crumpled laying on the floor, "see"

Fourth. or maybe it's the fifth when things change.

In the famous words of President Roosevelt, "It's the fourth of July Annie!" :)

We spent the 4th hanging out with some amazing friends. (I took pictures when we first got there...so many are left out..so I'm stealing some of these from a friends facebook :)
Good food, water slides, a game of 5'up (football) and some fireworks from the crazy assholes across the street made for a perfect 4th of July.






















How exactly does this thing work ?


















I'm not sure when it happens....but at some point from my first to my fifth we stopped running at the sight of the babies putting sand and wood chips in their mouths.
oh and leaves and wrapped candy and paper and that mysterious piece of foam something or other.
I keep my eye on them and if they change color or if I see several legs attached to something that went in...I walk over and take care of it.
Lets all say it together..."What doesn't kill them, makes them stronger" :)

Pitch line......

"Super Absorbency for teethers"



















HEY! just like they say...it conforms to your body.
IF you have an hour glass verjaynus. What if I'm pear shaped. no wonder I'm left wearing a pantyliner each month for the entire 7 days.





















*Box of Tampax naturals super absorbency tampons - free from my menopausal mother.
*Time it took to clean up all of the papers inside and outside of their mouths - 5 minutes.
*Saying screw it, it's only tampons and enjoying your shower for another 10 minutes while the babies tear apart the feminine hygiene drawer - priceless.

Wordless Wednesday !