Here is the dramatic and disturbing video I promised.
This may seem like a child throwing a two year old tantrum....except that she is sound asleep.
This is a video of a night terror.   We recorded 5 minutes of it.  You can watch some or all of it. 

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

We have had 4-6 nights a week of these for the last several weeks.    In this one she had been screaming for several minutes before I asked J to video it.   Then when Syd ran down the hall, J turned the camera off, we helped get her back to bed and picked up the camera to capture the last moments as she drifted back to sleep.  At that point I had to decide whether to put her and her bed back together or just let her be.  (there's always a fear she could start terroring again) So I would say this one lasted about 10-15 minutes.   They Sydney's have lasted close to 30 minutes.  They can last for an hour or sometimes longer in some children.

This is a night terror for her and a nightmare for us.   We are SO sick of these.  
They happen approx 2 hrs after she goes to bed almost every night.   You CAN'T wake her up....it just makes it worse if you try.   She's had them since she was about 2-3 years old but they've gotten SO MUCH worse recently.  I believe it's because she's started to stay dry at night and her body is crossing signals with her brain somehow.
We have tried everything that has been suggested....ie.  wake her up 10-15 minutes before they normally happen.  Take her to the bathroom.  All of this just seems to throw her into an early night terror.  
Last night I put her on the toilet and she immediately started shaking and screaming bloody murder.
She never did go potty and when I got her back to bed she sat on my lap and screamed for me for the next 5 minutes.   She was terrified and screamed for help and her mama.   Her eyes wide open and looking right through me. You feel helpless.  At least last night she would let me stroke her head and soothe her.  (they seem not to last as long when she lets me comfort her)   A lot of times if you try to touch her (above video is a perfect example) it just seems to enrage her even more.

From what I've read, you fall into the deepest sleep when you first go to sleep.  approx 2 hrs later your body shifts into a lighter sleep for the rest of the night.    Kids who have night terrors don't make that shift.  and while their brains try to transition, it some how gets wires crossed which send them into a night terror.  Sometimes several a night.   (you'd have guessed it that Syd is one of those kids)  
She shares a room with Ryan and that's always fun.   The babies sometimes sleep through it, but most of the time they wake up.   The boys have yet to wake up with one of her screaming fits.  (knocking wood)

The ONLY good thing is that she doesn't remember a thing about them the next morning.   When I was downloading this, she wanted to know who was screaming.   When I told her it was her she got embarrassed and told me not to show anyone.
I explained to her that I wanted to show other people who's kids might be having the same problems.  To help them.   So she happily agreed. (I had her immediately sign a release form)

I can see how some people might think that their child is possessed. Seriously. I can see why someone might think that something terrible has happened to their child in real life and it's all coming out in a terrible nightmare.   These can be very scary for everyone but the child having them.

Advice.
Never try and wake a child up who is having a terror.  A lot of times they feel like someone is trying to get them or hold them down....so if you hold them and they fight you it's because they think you are trying to hold them down, not help them.   Just make sure they are safe and wait them out.
If they will let you....turn on a light.  Speak calmly and repetitively..."mama's here.  you're ok.  mama's here.  you're ok.  mama's here....."
You can try waking them up 10-15 minutes before they start or 1 hr 45 min. after they fall asleep.   Take them to the bathroom, walk them around, get them a drink, have them talk to you.  You are suppose to completely wake them up and keep them awake for 5 minutes.  Again...that never worked with us.   SOMETIMES, Syd will go to the bathroom willingly and not wake up and that will stop a lot of the night terrors from ever happening.  but it's a gamble.

They are supposed to go away around the ages of 6-7 years old.   I pray that ours do.  I can't imagine that she's getting very much rest....I know we aren't.

    

Well, it was just confirmed that the rash on my hand was NOT a sexually transmitted disease.
2 doctors and a medical text book later it was confirmed however that I have a case of granuloma annulare.  Something the one doctor hasn't seen in 5 years and has only seen once in his profession.   Nothing like going in for something that we have been calling gombu and hiding from for a week and having doctors marvel over it.  pressing it to check blanching.   and repeating questions like...does it itch, burn, hurt.  Is it only on your hand.  (I'm assuming he too was questioning whether it was syphilis)
I have a prescription cream to apply BID and if it doesn't work.....I have to have steroid injections.  OMG please cream work.

So yes....this year....I am thankful to not have a sexually transmitted disease.  
on my hand. 

For those of you traveling.  do so in safety.
Happy Thanksgiving People !

L.B.D

I was going to post about how since the discontinuance of the L-word, you can almost hear the bugle call of Taps playing in those quiet, dark bedrooms at night. 
Always trying to do my part to help I had Monday's Movie reviews all ready to go. 
Because I feel it my duty and because I myself have come back from the depths of LBD to live once again.  and because my little teaser seemed to strike a lot of interest, I'd like to help by sharing some of my knowledge and experience with this silent killer of relationships.  :)

I'd like to show you 2 lists.   and then I'd like to show you how we prioritize them.

Lesbian couple. new relationship
Work
Sleep
Eat
Cook
Shop
Go out
Sex


Lesbian couple.  established.  kids
Work
Sleep
Eat
Cook
Clean
Go out
Sex
Feed kids
Play with kids
Clean up after kids
Change kids
Clean kids  
Teach kids
Discipline kids
Read about why kids are doing stuff
Take kids in public
Read about how you can better handle kids in public
Talk about kids
Put kids to bed
Get up all night with kids

Now lets look at how we sometimes prioritize.

New couple
Sex.
Work.
Call while at work and discuss the sex you had and want to have.
Eat
Give eath other a look that lets each of you know that all you want to do is have sex
Go out.
Leave early make out in the car come home and
have sex
sleep.  shop and cook tomorrow.


Established couple with kids.
Lucky if you are the one who gets to leave the house to work :) (just kidding of course)
Feed kids
clean up after kids
Take kids out in public
Discipline kids
Feed kids
Discipline kids some more
Try Teaching kids
Clean up after kids
Feed kids
Clean kids
Put kids to bed
Clean up after kids
Talk about kids
Sleep

You see.  We have three strikes against us.   Old game.  kids.  we're women.  Really 4 if you want to count the being BEAT TO HELL by bedtime part.
To quote a friend :  It is hard to keep the passion alive when you have two tired moms, whose natural tendency is to cuddle anyway.  right ? love it.

2 important things to remember :
- It is REALLY easy to fall into best friend roles. 
- It is REALLY hard and it takes a lot of work to get back into girlfriend/wife/partner roles.

I think Rosie O'donell said it best when she compared sex to working out.  She said that you never want to do it and it's a lot of work but after it's over you feel great and you wished you did it more often.  :)

More important than just sex, I think staying connected is the most important thing.   If I could honestly give one piece of advice it would be to go out as a couple AT LEAST once a month.   Really push for twice a month or more.
Make a promise not to discuss kids or money.   Laugh.  keep the conversation up and engage with your wife.
It's funny.   There have been several times that J and I would be sitting at dinner and I would come to and realize that I had been people watching and J had not taken her eyes off of her plate or the TV monitor with a game (pick a sport) on it.   We could have been sitting there silent for 5 maybe 10 minutes and neither of us even noticed.   Comfortable silences are great.  but try to limit them. :)

I will admit, our LBD lasted an extremely long time.  Longer than it should have.  I think having so many kids has only made us closer in that we had to join forces because we were outnumbered.  note the lack of sarcasm in that last sentence.  I'm being serious.

The only bit of advice I can give is.....climb back on the horse guys.   As Nike says it best.  Just do it.   It might feel awkward at first.  You might miss those passionate moments when you would ATTACK each other before the kids came along.   but it's like riding a bike.  and it might be a different model or you might be in a different gear but ladies it's the most important relationship you have.   One that needs to be ridden hard to keep strong.   :) ha ha ha
Ok, now I'm just talking dirty. and really this isn't JUST about sex.

It breaks my heart each time I hear about a family that breaks up. and it feels like lately there are A MILLION. and I can't believe Rosie and Kelly broke up 2 years ago and nobody knew.  
Funny I quote her about how to keep it together only to speak about how she and her wife have called it quits. hmm.

ALRIGHTY.  Back to my original intentions.  If you need a little "help".  maybe try one of the following.

Monday Movie Reviews
I have bad news for you.   There's not a whole lot left.   If I've missed one that you think is great, please list the title in my comments.  I will make sure to netflix it and will get back with my review.
Now "lesbian" movies are pretty bad. low budget is a term I use with them.  but to us  they are great. because it's our people and our issues on the screen.  so as I review these please keep in mind that I ALWAYS lower my expectations when watching them. also.  I'm hurrying, because I've already exceded the amount of attention you can keep with any one person reading a blog and I'm WAAAAY behind.

Love and Suicide
I'm going back....so I've kind of forgotten some of the "feelings" I had for this movie.
It's about a girl who moves to a new town and is befriended by a sexually charged girl at school.
They become great friends and of then of course become more than friends.
The one girl...oh wait.  I TOTALLY remember now.  The one girls mother influences her in to finding God.  The other girl goes along with it thinking that she's doing it to keep her mom happy and her girlfriend on her hip.  Not so much.
Any ways.  It's based on a true story and it really was a great movie.

My opinion :
Watch it.

Fire
A story about two Hindu women who are living in arranged marriages that leave them feeling wanting more.
They find out that wanting each other is nice.   I liked that they wanted each other.   ha ha
Great story.  Good sex scenes :)   you know.  if you are in to that kind of thing.  sex between women I mean. ha ha

My opinion :
Watch it.

Julie Johnson
Now this movie was a little weird for me.  The chemistry just wasn't built up like I needed it to be.
It's with Lili Taylor.  (you might remember her from Mystic Pizza.  the friend who gets married ) and Courtney Love (I know, I know)
Any ways.  It wasn't BAD.  but it had this big hole in the middle of it.

My opinion :
If like me, your goal is to watch every lesbian movies.  Watch it.

A village affair
British.  A gay woman comes back from America and falls in love with her neighbor.  who is married with children. 
I didn't love the way it ended....but I suppose they shouldn't all end happily ever after.

My opinion :
Watch it.  why not.

Lianna
Guys don't cheat on and treat your wives like crap.  they might just go back to school and fall in love with their psych professor. 
That do it for you.

My opinion :
Watch it.  why not

Clara's summer
Young girls go to camp.  The one girl, Zo, tells her best friend that she loves her and kisses her.  Clara rejects her and tells her it's not natural.  Zo then runs off and finds some guy to hang on for the rest of the movie.
Clara however finds Sonia...a bisexual girl very attractive.  There is drama with the kids in camp finding out.   Clara dealing with her family meeting Sonia and all of the other things that comes with all of these new feelings.

My opinion :
Watch it.

Slice of life
Not that in to this movie.  A chinese woman and Japanese woman are together.   The one has issues with her family and commitment.  The other has issues with her having issues with family and commitment.

My opinion :
Whatever

The investigator
Stars helen baxendale (Ross's almost British wife on friends) who investigates for the army, weeding out lesbians in the armed forces.
She then figures out a few things about herself.  Based on a true story. Great movie.

My opinion :
Watch it.

Portrait of a Marriage parts 1 and 2
Ok, I really liked this movie. originally made into a mini series.
It's the story and autobiography/biography of Vita Sackville West.   A wife and mother who is so madly in love with another woman.  They both struggle to deal with real life and at one point she leaves her husband and children for her.   She and her husband have an open relationship but always seem to hold on to each other. 
It is a compelling story.  pulling you one way and then the other. 

My opinion :
Watch it for sure.

Childhoods end
This story was more about the high school graduate getting it on with his mom's best friend and neighbor than the neighbors daughter who just happens to be friends with the high school graduate that she's fucking, getting it on with another girl.

My opinion :
nah.  I guess if you want to watch THEM ALL. but really.  not so great.

Intentions
Again.  what's the deal with the student teacher fantasy stories.
Lesbian girl falls in love with her drama teacher.  who's married.  with kids.  they get it on.
Some of the dialog, especially with the lesbian girl and her ex girlfriend, had me slapping my forehead.

It was pretty dumb.

My opinion :
Sucked. but whatever.

Big Dreams Little Hope
Ok.  so this isn't a "lesbian" movie per se.  Although the lead is a lesbian and there are lesbian issues.
But I'm just warning you before you set off expecting a different ending like me and the wife were....don't.
It's funny.  it's pretty silly and low budget...but what the hell.  The lead lesbian is funny.  She reminds me of a dykey Pauly Shore :)

My opinion :
whatever.  it's fine.

Ok, last....me and the wife went to see Blind Side (not a gay movie) this weekend on our night out. Sandra Bullock. 
LOVED IT ! (singing out loud) LOOOOOVED it.
It's right up there with Rudy for the love of pete.  It seriously is one of THE best movies I've seen lately...and good hell....looking at my list....there's been a lot.
We will buy this movie when it  comes out.  So good ladies.  When you get that babysitter next weekend.  (DO IT) Make sure you go see it.

Lets wrap this up !

There is a TON that I wish you wanted to read.  :)  but come on people we gotta stop livin' in the past.
I won't be talking about where I was the last 3 weeks.  No, I wasn't in some psychiatric clinic, tied to a bed with anxiety medication being fed through an IV the size of a McDonald's staw.  Who told you that ?  I have NO idea what you are talking about.
ahem

I just wanted to share with you my itinerary for the next 2 days.
Friday
3-5 pm check-in at the Hilton
5-7 pm Welcome Reception
6-9 pm Shop ! Shop ! Shop ! (we already did this part so we are going to a movie)
9-11 pm Desserts and Drinks  (oh and did I mention that there is an open bar all night)

**We will be accepting your gifts to be wrapped from 5pm-10pm

Saturday
8-9:30 am Breakfast
10 am More shopping
11- 1pm Lunch
3pm Late check-out and final wrapped gift pick up

Is that not the BEST IDEA EVER !  They wine and dine you and then wrap your Christmas presents for you.
J was invited through her work to participate.  
Babysitters (check)
Presents loaded in Bav's to be wrapped (check-check)
I hope to be tied to a bed and fed anxiety medication (alcohol) through an IV the size of a McDonald's straw :)  hee hee

Wanna see something cute ?  my kids.   OF COURSE !
Me and my neighbor  friend ;-) took my kids to a local farm and got some pictures for Christmas cards.
I think they turned out great.   I can't decide which ones to use but I have lots to choose from. 
Trying to get them in a picture all together you ask ?  NO WAY!  Not this year thank you.
Here's a sneek peek.

I have a post coming....down with LBD (lesbian bed death) ya you know me....stay tuned.  ooh ooh ooh I also have some dramatic footage to post.  

Peeking....(whispering) has it been a month yet ?

Dang people.  Don't EVER let me do that again.    
It took 1 week before I stopped composing posts in my head.   and like a television series that's seasonal I kept wondering and thinking about all of my blogger peeps. and what was happening, going to happen.
GOOD HELL I've missed a lot. 

I'm not going to go back and catch you up on my waltzing.  but I will say that it is NOT bloggers fault that my children are terrible.
In fact.  I found out that the only difference to my being glued to the computer while the kids go at each other or my physically coming between them is me being kicked and hit while splitting them up.
You know...so that someone else doesn't make the same mistake that I did.     You do not...I repeat..DO NOT have to be present for your children in order for them to behave well.   Oh shit.  alright.  There can be a happy medium.  I'm sure I didn't need to take a month off to figure that one out.  
I suppose I just did it to prove to myself that I could.  well like the healthy eating diet....it's over. and here I am...all fat and happy ! 

Going to spend some time reading my "tivod" blogs :)
Missed you.