What's up Wednesday !

I suppose the only reason this story makes sense is because I took a before and after picture.
No,  that just makes the story better and helps me confirm the facts.

It all started after dinner.  Spaghetti and chocolate pudding.  
Thoughts did circulate through my head when I handed them the silverware.  Little voices normally whispering began screaming warnings of mess and disorder.   but like most of the voices in my head and the ones not in my head I ignored them.

I am almost certain that he didn't get any in his mouth.

What happened next is why I feel these photos can and will help me when entered in as evidence.

J took the older 3 to the gym and left me to clean up the mess.   After all it was I who ignored the voices (one of which may have been hers)

I bathed both boys and put them in jammies and headed to the laundry room downstairs to quickly wash the clothing that was also destroyed during our dinnertime fiasco.

While in the laundry room, I heard Nathan scream.   It was a hurt scream.  The scream that tells me that his brother probably bonked him on the head with something or possibly grabbed half of his face while trying to take his binky away from him.    I was seconds from being done and after finishing headed upstairs.   Nathan was sitting at the top of the stairs.  He points to where he's been hurt now.  He pointed to his head and cried "ow" I headed up the stairs saying something comforting I'm sure. when around the corner appeared his brother Ryan brandishing a huge  12' serrated edge knife.   I believe it was at this time that my heart dropped through my vagina and I don't really remember how many stairs I missed getting to the top.   I grabbed it out of his hands and threw it in the sink and then ran back to Nathan to find out where exactly his brother had hit him.    Sure enough.  Right on top of his old noggin was the slightly bloody line.   I tried to pull it apart...it was just a superficial wound.   It didn't even bleed very much.   DAMN THOUGH. 

So on that day Dec 29th at approx 7:30 pm, Ryan tried to scalp Nathan.

Note : the knife was left out from cutting the bread for dinner and was set a little too close to the edge of the counter.  Lucky for us this was a lesson with a good ending.

Hey, we all recover our own way.  This was one of the best Christmas presents I received :) Thank you my friend. 

 

After the children were all asleep our little next door neighbor came over and we left for the late movie.

We have wanted to see "It's Complicated" since it came out on Christmas.   We didn't get home until 12:30 am.  TOTALLY worth it.   I can't remember the last time we laughed so hard and for so long in a theater.    Such a great movie.

Wishing you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR !

 

ah poop ah comin'

These are the only Christmas pictures to share.  This is the BIGGEST not a Christmas present picture that I have.   

TA-DA !!  FINALLY, Spencer earned his boat.  You know, the boat that sat on our book shelf for MONTHS and then ended up gathering dust and taking up WAY TOO much space in our closet.  Yes THAT boat.

Spencer is OH-fishally a potty trained boy.  meaning....he goes pee AND POOP on the toilet.  2 times he has gone poop.   The second time he came screaming out of his room, "ah poop ah comin' mom.   I feel ah poop comin'"  music.  MUSIC people...to my ears.   He ran in to the bathroom, did his thing, washed his hands and was back to his boat without skipping a beat.  

As soon as I entered the boys bedroom I smelled what could only be poop and Cameron quickly directed me to his lovely offering that he had discarded and thrown in to the garbage.  
He's having a hard time going poop and going pee outside of our house.    It will come.   There is still the pirate ship to earn after all.   
They both have done such a great job.   So far, no accidents for Spencer.  (not counting the silver dollar stains that I'm sure he'll have through adulthood)  
Cameron will even wake up from naps dry and sometimes in the morning he'll be dry.  Both boys are wearing diapers to bed.

Question ?  I still give the boys a sippy of milk at night.    ummmmm.  was I supposed to stop doing that ?   I do believe it's thwarting our efforts at potty training at night with them.   hmmm ?  They just love it so much.

In other potty training news.   Syd has stopped terroring at night (SLAMMING MY HEAD ON WOOD) and has been waking herself up and taking herself to the potty.  Well, she stops off in our room first to let J know (she's closest to the door) that she's going :) ha ha   OH COME ON.  I wake up when she calls to J.   It's the second call....."mommy J, can you come tuck me in now?"  That's the one I don't hear.  because I'm sound asleep.  CLEEEEEAAAAR over here next to the window which is WAAAAAAY far away from the door and the hall and Syd's room.
(yaaawn) I'm tired now.   It's off to bed for me.  Long 2 whole days with J back at work for me this week.  I just love having her around that wife of mine. 

Fast hands of time !

Now I am NOT about to question God's creating abilities.  I just think that there could be a few improvements.  (these are the little things that sometimes convince me that God is a man)
Now I posted once about the extra padding he forgot to add to babies around the neck and head.   Protection.   He gave them the extra and me A LOT OF extra around the behind area for falling while learning to walk (I don't fall very often and am wondering if I couldn't donate it to a worthy cause...like about twelve 8-13 month olds) but again none around the head area.   Once they stop falling they start running and usually it's right in to a table or counter corner.  or bless them off of tables and counter tops.  Seriously.

I think babies should start out a bit more like tadpoles and slowly grow legs and arms. Like around kindergarten.

Then they couldn't run, hit, pull stuff off of counters, table tops, desks, out of laundry baskets, drawers and climb.
There would be no throwing of their breakfast bowl, lunch and dinner plates, food by the handfuls, silverware and cups.

They wouldn't have lightening fast hands allowing them to reach down beside themselves and grab hold of the little velcro strap to their diaper that you just undid, timing it PERFECTLY as to pull when you lift their toosh up to fold the front back covering up the load of poop...that is now being dragged and thrown about the room by a 15 inch extention from their tiny bodies.   That tiny little extension is causing HUGE disasters at our house.

It takes fast hands to keep up with a 1 year old.   It takes super human powers to keep up after more than one.  
This age is not fun.   You feel like you don't EVER stop.   and when one is tearing apart the dishwasher you are trying to load in record time, the other is somewhere playing in the toilet that a little newly training potty boy left open. (luckily their favorite part about going in the potty is the flushing part)  and while the one in the toilet takes precedence in retrieving - the other no doubt will push a chair to the counter to start pulling off the lunch dishes that didn't make it in the dishwasher yet, still full of plenty of leftovers because there were fruits and vegetables served..oooh gross.  and the dog doesn't do fruit.  and doesn't have the smeller she used to and can't seem to track food that is several feet up on the wall and in between blinds.   When I clean that up it is usually the time they run in and start pulling everything out of their drawers in their room....and just like mommy they throw it over the railing and down the stairs.    Down the stairs where mommy JUST threw dirty laundry (3 days ago) and now I can't tell what was dirty and clean. 

I don't want to rush the growing up part....but I'm ready for this stage to be over.  and I'm ready for them all to be in school full time.  but I'm not rushing anything.  
Maybe 3rd grade.  so that they can get up, get ready and feed themselves.  and when I get up at noon one day.....I will think back with forgotten memories at how cute they were when they were one and how much I miss holding their little sticky, wet bodies.

Oh Christmas tree oh Christmas tree....you are as naked as my boys.   and from the waste down too.  how great is that.

2 guesses.

If you guessed thing 3 and thing 4.  You were right.

They've had to move higher to reach more ornaments to remove.

I wouldn't do that mom.  not me. but totally my brother. look at him biting in to that plastic ornament like it's a candy apple.

Caught red handed.

Like apples, once they are picked they are thrown.  only I suppose you don't throw apples to the ground. but ornaments...yes, they are thrown to the ground at our house.  like some greek, Christmas wedding celebration.

and once thrown the singing starts.  "uh oooooh! uh oooooh!"

trouble. 

J sat on Santa's lap, reached back behind his beard and hat and whispered softly into his ear.....and you know what.   He brought her an early, work in progress, present.
BOTH BOYS ARE GOING POTTY IN THE POTTY !
They only do it if they are naked.   Spencer went 7 times yesterday with no accidents.   Cam went once with one accident.   OH MAH GAW MARSHA !  
Ok, ok, so something funny.    J had talked to someone at work who bought one of those little potty's.   The kind you only see at Schools with small tooshes and daycare facilities.   It seemed like a great idea.   If it's just their size they will sit right down.    This same person who purchased one also talked us out of it saying that all her kids wanted to do was play in it and it clogged easily.
ok...so the funny part is.....we figured out REAL fast that if you wait until your boys are almost 4.  (J correcting me 3 1/2) to potty train them, they fit on a regular potty quite nice :) ha ha

I had no idea which to teach them...stand or sit.  There are pro's and con's to each and I had NO idea.
Spencer stands.  Cam sits.  and that's that.

I bought a bunch of hot wheels cars and candy.  Filled a bowl.  Everytime they went in the potty they got something out of the bowl.    Spencer (candy) Cam (cars)
Spencer was hilarious.   he'd run and ask for juice.   and then run down the hall as fast as he could. lift the seat, lean in and pee. after he finished and washed his hands, he'd run in and scream excitedly..."I drank juice to help me go potty"  only it was "I drank ah juice ahep ah potty"   (more on his speech later)
Then he'd run, drink and repeat.  

Already today the prize bowl is losing it's appeal.  ugh.  Spencer refused to go naked this morning, and peed in his pullup that we were able to convince him to put on instead of a diaper....but after naptime I removed his unders and has gone potty 2 times.   He's doing SO great.

Cam gets wrapped up in whatever he's doing and doesn't make it to the potty.  He only had 1 accident and hasn't gone in the potty today.
It's so funny because he was the one showing signs of potty training lately; waking up dry, telling us when he's wet.    He doesn't pee as often..which in the long run will help, but right now it's hard because you remind him to use the potty but can't really push the issue because it can be several hours before he needs to go.

Spencer.  nothin'.  REFUSED to wear big boy underwear and will tell you. "I a yiddle boy"  He can pee out until his socks are wet and wouldn't tell you to change him.
He pees alot during the day and has grabbed ahold of the toilet seat and gone with it.  His aim aint even so bad.
(he is now on his sisters jumping ball behind me :) groooooosssss) ha ha

Tonight they were both belly up to the bar, one up front and one to the side.  Neither could go.  not even with the sink on.  :)  That would have been great though.   I'm sure they will be going together in no time at all.

(sigh)  alrighty then.   I have to go repeat "I believe. I believe." and see if I can hear the bell.   I wished for something from Santa too.    

New and improved !

This will be I think the most random of all posts.   (there is a secret decoder message...so make sure you read the entire post and tell me what it is in comments to win a prize)

Why do companies make New and IMPROVED or Extra Strength formulas and then continue to put the old original version on the shelf.   Like I'm going to go to the shelf and see Extra Strength and say to myself "naaaah....I'll just get the original less effective stuff"

I stood next to a woman at the store the other day.   She was looking at fish sticks.  One box said $8.37 (I can't remember the actual price) and there was a box right next to it, same brand that said, "$8.37 but the box was bigger and it said 25 % more FREE !
She studied them both and then chose the smaller box.   Seriously !  Did it CONFUSE you ?  Maybe she thought it was a trick and she would have to pay for the 25 % extra. (sigh)  I suppose she just didn't need that many fish sticks.
I of course bought a box...because ANYTHING that says 25% free is a worthy buy ! 

Does anyone else get confused whilst  buying moisturizers and over the counter cold medicines ?
Lotion for example.   One says, softer skin with Aloe....and then another one says, now more moisture protection with Vitamin E.
I sit and read each label and think...well what the fuck is going to help my skin the most.....the Aloe, Vitamin E or friggin' Cocoa butter.   The thing that pisses me off the most is the SAME company will put out all of these options.   Why not put all of those skin softners in one lotion and change the flavor.
Which brings me to medicines.....there's : cough and cold, flu symptoms, runny nose....I get that they might have a little bit more of the decongestant or acetaminophen for aches but why not get the one with something for everything that might ail you.   Cheese and RICE !  I spend more time standing in front of these items than I do getting everything else picked out, paid for and loaded in to the van.   Oh how I struggle so with the little details.

There was no real reason for me to post today.  and there is no real prize.  I don't know why I said those things.  
That's where Sydney gets it. from ME !  (slapping forehead, head falls back) GAW ! I guess I'll work on that.

Here's a prize for all of you.  WONDERFUL, tested, and sure to be the best advice you've ever been given.  and to finish off this random as hell post. 
Invest in a hand held shower head.    Let me tell you why.
- It makes rinsing hair and bodies with clean water A WHOLE LOT EASIER.  No more filling and dumping cupfuls of water on their little heads.
- You can rinse the poopy toosh of a small baby off if you just need to wash the poopy toosh of a small baby off instead of the whole baby.
- When your child becomes a little more independent....they are able to hold and rinse with this (make sure to attach the holder lower so that they can in fact reach it)  That way 2, it's a more controlled spray onto their little heads and not clear above them when hanging up.
- It's WAY easier if you have animals that have to be bathed at home.
It's been the best thing we did in the kids bathroom.   Well....for now.  (more to come on that later)

Thank you for reading. 

Liar Liar pants on fire !!!

I'm sure this is a stage.   A deceitful phase.  But my little fabricator is all about storytelling right now.
Syd has lied before to get out of trouble....these new falsehoods are more elaborate stories than anything.  They seem to be happening a LOT lately.  and a lot of the time I'm left trying to decipher the truth from the untruth.  If I ask her a question I usually get an exaggeration of the truth. 

Most of the "stories" I'm talking about are either SUPER positive or SUPER negative too. 
For example, "My teacher let me lead the class today and she said I was the VERY best "reader, singer, writer, adder.. pick a subject" in the WHOLE class." or, "Jared (all names are changed to protect the identity of those really involved...and I, for the life of me can't remember all of the names of the kids in her class :) fell today and I helped him up and asked him if he was ok and he was mean to me and said, Syd- you are the meanest kid in class, and I wish you were dead !!"
It's pretty easy to see through the make-believe...but I do worry about the things she comes up with sometimes.
Like the time I asked her what she did in school and her response was, "we had 5th grade buddies" and I said, "what did you do ?" and she replied, "pooped" and I said, "hmm...that's nice...what else ?"  and she finished with, "oh nothing...we just pooped together."  

I came up with something that hasn't really helped but I keep trying.   I told her that her imagination is awesome and that she can tell the best stories, (as long as they don't have to do with pooping) but I need to know what is the truth and what isn't....so I came up with - Cool story and True story.   After she tells me something I ask, Cool story or true story ? most of the time she still says true story...even though I know it's not.  or maybe it's an exaggerated version.  I don't push it any further and we move on.

Nobody wants their children to lie...and I do hope that this is just a phase.  but I also hope that I'm doing the right thing.   We've talked about what is the truth and what is a lie.   I've explained and given her an example about when you don't tell the truth, it's hard to believe the truth when it actually IS the truth.  (crying wolf...although I didn't use that story.  why didn't I use that story.  what the hell am I thinking, that's a way easier story to understand at this age than the one I came up with)

Anybody have advice or pointers about this ?  or can reassure me that this too shall pass on it's own ?



 
 

Roseola's are red, violets are blue !

My way to hook a sista up !  New moms.  if your child presents with an EXTREMELY high fever sometimes hitting 106.0.  a mild fever.  or in our case a barely not even a  fever for one day...and then a couple of days later breaks out in a rash like this one.

RUN TO YOUR NEAREST EMERGENCY ROOM !  no.  just kidding.

It's called Roseola or sixth disease.  Normally the child acts as if nothing is wrong.   The rash doesn't bother them...and there is no other signs as far as congestion or illness.    Save yourselves the trip to the doctor...in which they will only be exposed to  a number of other illnesses...give them Tylenol if they need it and wait it out.

I learned this after the first 2 kids got this disease.   Well we actually took the 1st couple in because  of 104.0 fevers....sure enough 2 days later, rash.   

Ryan's was weird because he was never really feverish.   We also didn't know because this weekend we had a multitude of symptoms to go off of with each kids being different :

Syd, irritable. runny nose temp 100.2 rash around the mouth

Spencer, irritable. runny nose temp 100.8 rash round the mouth

Cameron, irritable.  stomach ache. headache. temp 102. rash around the mouth

Nathan, irritable. runny nose. teething.  not sleeping.

Ryan, happy little camper. runny nose. temp did hit 99 one day.  rash over entire body.

Pick a disease for hell sakes.

I suppose experience and google are a pretty good detector...but I thought I'd share mine so that when your little person acts completely normal...has a high fever and then rashes, you'll know.

Most kids get this before 5 years old and I think the percentage is even higher for kids under 2.   So chances are you'll see it sooner than later.

Syd's rash was just on her back.  Cam and Spencer's were on their arms and legs.   Ryan's is obviously ALL over his tiny body. 

I'm mostly glad to offer a disease with little complications to you.   I think we all see enough of the other crap that this one is pretty mild, which is nice.

oh and yes...with all that ails us and J being gone...we survived. 

 

Dear God,
It's me again.  Please bless that they sleep.   If not, please bless that I sleep through it.
Amen.

J gets home tomorrow.  I can DO this. 
Just a few, several, 15 more hours and she's home.   (deep breath....LET'S DO IT !! )

Don't forget to stop and look at the lights on the way !

Best thing EVER !  Totally filled me with the holiday spirit...well that and the end of the wine I just washed down.   JK
You HAVE to go to this website and send your kids a message from Santa.   It is SERIOUSLY the coolest thing ever.   Thanks Carey....you rock.

My only suggestion for parents with multiple kids.  (meaning many and not necessarily in a set) maybe pull them away separately to view this if they are a little older (4 on up).   I think if they see the same video (insert different child's name) it might ruin the value of it.

Syd watched hers tonight.   I uploaded it this morning, however she was not deserv-ed until late this evening to view it.
It was almost as if a golden ticket hung over her head and the word "believe" was being punched out.    Just awesome.

I know that everyone harps on the commercialism of Christmas.  and how it's ruining their Christmas spirit.  and how it's all about Jesus and we lose the true meaning.
I don't know how that can happen with kids.  Young kids.  My kids are SO excited and it's my job entirely to make it that way.  Decorate and threaten Santa.  Talk about the old guy in the red suit.  Play Christmas movies that I am NOT too old for.  Sit and watch the wonderment in their little faces as we pass by houses lit up with lights and inflatable globes and sleighs.   listening to Christmas CD's (over and over and over) and even redecorating the Christmas tree every night.  (thanks to the babies) 
It truly is the magic of Christmas for me. 
EVEN when they cover their ears during a huge meltdown with a a red tear streaked face because I'm singing, "you better not pout I'm tellin' you why" with all of the convincing that I can muster.  It's all Christmas to me. 

Celebrate Jesus.  Remember him.  Tell your kids the story of his birth.  Turn the TV off if the commercials piss you off.  Just don't forget to stop and look at the lights on the way.  

Or better yet.  Go make a video for your kids from Santa.   That'll help. 

Exercising is like Sex.   (heard this one)
You dread it, but after you feel great.   and proud of yourself.   (well, maybe that's just me  :)

We joined the gym.  wanna know why ?
Because the daycare ROCKS !  the kids LOVE going there (the babies...we have to sneak away from but they do well after we go, and they are going damn it) and we don't have to call ahead...we just show up, get stickers for their backs and walk on out.

Our joke going is that we will drop the kids off and then go sleep in one of the racquetball courts....or enjoy a smoothie....or sit in the hot tub for the whole 2 hours.
Thing is....we haven't done any of those things.  We've. actually. worked. out.   We plant our fat asses in front of the TV's (usually something to do with balls...pick a sport) and we're off.   cardio for 30.  machines and weights.  and then we collect our children.  throw them in their suits and go swimming.   EVERYONE WINS !
I (heart) Life.time fitness.  If I don't lose a fucking POUND people.  I love that place.

What I don't heart is that as with anything comes runny noses...and we have them in our house.
Nobody is sleeping.
Will this stop us from exposing them, once again, to millions of viruses tomorrow.  NO WAY !
Two hours people. TWO HOURS PEOPLE.  just being together. sweating.  the only sound is heavy breathing and the pounding of feet.  no children screaming.  no whining.  crying.  pulling at your pant leg.
WOO ! with all of the cheering I'm doing I believe I've worked out harder than when I do go.

Right now we are on a month to month plan.   It's not cheap and we really can't afford it but we figure that during the cold season it gives all of us something fun to do together. 
Who knows.  we may just shape up a little bit in the process.
naaaaah.

We needed extra padding.

pleasepleasepleaseplease wake up and act like the happy little person you were before you fell 5ft and landed on your back and head.  PULEASE !
Please don't let there be any need to go and sit in an emergency room for hours and hours just to hear them say..."he probably has a concussion.  keep a close eye on him over the next couple of days"
We have J's Christmas party tonight and babysitters lined up and I bought a new shirt.  

I haven't mentioned yet that the babies can now climb the stairs to their brothers bunk bed and also the stairs to the playhouse downstairs....where there is a ledge next to the stairs....that is approx 5 ft high.  Or the crappy, cheapo, berber playroom carpet with a thin pad on top of concrete right below the opening....that is 5ft high.  
UGH !
Why aren't they born with extra padding.   Like our butts, only all over their bodies.   Just a ton of fat that sloughs off by the time they go to kindergarten.   Mostly around the neck and head area.  

I called the pediatricians office to talk to a nurse.   You see this happened at naptime and after the 5 minutes of screaming.  and after I poked and rubbed every bone in his body and moved all of his extremities to make sure nothing hurt and could be broken....I then checked his head and flashed a flashlight in his eyes to make sure they would dilate, he fell fast asleep in my arms.   We've all heard the stories...NEVER LET THEM SLEEP ! 
The ped said to let him sleep.   If he's not up 45 minutes past his normal awake time...wake him up...see how he acts.....and if it's not right or if he throws up etc...take him in.
The thing is.  After the fall and before I started checking him out....he acted kind of loopy, really sleepy.  His eyes looked sick.   I'm sure he just had a massive headache.  That's it.  right ? 

DAMN IT HEIGHTS OF ALL HEIGHTS !

Ok.  so the funny but not so funny but there is a safe ending so we can smile about it story is.  After I hung up with the nurse I took Ryan's sweet little restful body in to his room and laid him down and went to find Nathan.   Guess where I found him ?
Asleep in his brothers bed.   THE TOP BUNK BED.   Little shit climbed up and went to sleep.

Any childproofing ideas of keeping babies off of ladders.   We've thought of plexiglass on the first step.

(praying/chanting....we will make it through this stage...we will all live through this stage...)



****updated****
He's fine.  Totally fine.  smiling, eating fish crackers.   I tried our game by saying, "backin up backin up" and he smiled and walked backwards and then ran full speed into my legs. 
TOTALLY going to a Christmas party.  TOTALLY going to cover up this third eye on my chin, throwin my new shirt on,  and then will suck my stomach in until I've had too much wine to remember to...but I'll be tipsy and full and with my wife and happy.