Memorial Weekend !

Camping spot booked in March.   Chance of rain and 65 degrees noted.  Camping spot cancelled.    89 degree weather located in St George.   Condo booked.  Snake released.   Car loaded.  diet off.   TOTALLY worth it.

Sunscreen and swimming pools all weekend.  (no pictures of swimming pools however.  I'm not sure what happened, too busy making sure kids didn't drowned I suppose)
No internet service.  5 guys. and cookie dough.   aaaaaah.
There was the greatest park right by our condo.  Which just happened to be right by a couple of our friends who have a vacation home in St. George.   We were able to hook up for a park day, lunch and then went back to their house for a BBQ.  

Syd and one of her best friends Hailey.  These 2 have been going to the park together since they were brand new babies.

The GREATEST swings ever.

Ryan playing hard to get.

Our friends own an RC company.  Their house is on a golf course so after the golfers were done we headed down to the greens with one of his remote control trucks and let the kids chase it for an hour.  

It's just one way to wear them out !

Climbing down to the golf course.  Nathan had to stop and finish his cupcake.  That's my boy.

 

Nathan clapped and cheered them on from a distance.   A truck going 50 MPH wasn't as much fun right up close as he had originally thought.

Which is when he started screaming "STOP!"

Try not to look directly at the cupcake smears all over his shirt :)

Free range babies in diapers.  

Our patio was against a walking trail behind the condo's.   The babies escaped a LOT.

This guy was very cool with 2 toddlers screaming "ball, ball !"

He passed the ball back and forth and even let Nathan take it for a minute.

I swear he'll be dribbling at 2. 

This beautiful girl rolled down the hill at the park (pictured above)and ended up with a rash from head to toe.   She wasn't the happiest camper.....but with a dab of hydrocortisone and some benedryl AND of course given the opportunity...totally smiled for the camera :)

I just love this picture.   It may just be framed.

It was SUCH a fun weekend.     We met up with some of our best friends who had been taking a mini vacation and were leaving our first day there.    They stopped by and played with us at the pool.

I had just met a friends Aunt a week ago who just happens to live in St. George (3-5 minutes from our condo) and was coincidentally having a sex toy party the first night we got there.   She invited us and had a 15 year old daughter with a friend who were MORE than happy to babysit so that we could go to the party.    We spent $100.00.  :)   (this smiley face doesn't show the largeness of the smile I feel portrays my true feelings of happiness about that money spent)

Then we hooked up with our other best friends who have a home there.  

Not one thing was planned and it turned out to be an amazing weekend.

We laughed about how if we want to see people we need to go out of town :)

I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend.   

arach-no-phobia

I have to believe that I am more afraid of spiders than anyone.   For real.
If I saw a spider it would almost paralyze me with fear.   I would yell as if the ax murderer was standing there, climb against whatever piece of furniture was close all the while screaming for J to come and kill it.   (note- if you want to kill a spider you have to make sure you smash it until it's legs fall off...otherwise it might just get up and run after a few minutes)

I have NEVER understood how J could just get a tissue and squeeze the spider between her fingers......(CHILLS UP MY SPINE)  I am SO getting the creepy crawlies writing this post.
I remember this HUGE GIGANTIC spider was on the ceiling.   J came in to dispose of it only because she's short and the ceiling is. well tall. she missed and the damn thing dropped.  She stomped her foot over and over to get him...but the damn thing got away.  OMG.  I didn't go in that room the rest of the day and then even when I did go in I wore shoes, put my feet up on the desk and constantly looked in the corner of my eye for it.  

I realized this fear could affect my kids.  I decided that instead of making them fear spiders, I would hold it together and let them experience spiders and decide for themselves if they were afraid of the creepy 8 legged man eating creatures.    See if I couldn't prevent 5 future arachnophobes.
I blogged about it here and here.  (funny that the first blog was about J being out of town.  Shit she sure is out of town a lot.  she comes home today)

Any ways.  Since then I have taught my kids that we only kill spiders if we don't know their names.   I let them decide if we know their name or not.  If they do know their name, which is most of the time, we watch them and catch them and let them go outside.

I found out how important spiders are.  They kill bugs that kill my plants.   They kill flies and gnats.   They really are wonderful little things.
I have made peace with them in some strange way.
I have tried to teach my kids that we don't kill things that live outside.   That's their home.   Now I can spread "ant food" and "snail food" and "rolly polly food" and "any other kind of plant killing bug food"
But that's just to feed them :)
I go on spider and bug hunts with my kids.   We catch them in jars.   I can now hold the container with my bare naked hand and catch them.   If they run towards my hand I know it's because the thing is trying to hide...it's not trying to kill me.
I was pulling weeds yesterday and was able to touch spiders with gloves on my hands.
DO YOU HEAR WHAT I'M SAYING PEOPLE ! TOUCH.  I TOUCHED one.
(exhale)
I couldn't even touch the spiders in books a couple of years ago.  I would wince at the pictures in a book they freaked me out so bad.
I have come so far.
Go me !

Spencer will pick up and handle most things.  including spiders.  another thing I've had to come to grips with.
This poor thing had been rolled and squeezed with tiny little fingers.  I'm not sure if he was playing dead here or was in fact taking his last breath.
Good night sweet spider.

Wordless Wednesday

Friendly advice

NEVER open the front door expecting to see a neighbor child.  It will surely be an adult who will notice the smeared left over makeup, the wet spots on your t-shirt revealing your nipplah because of the fight you just won (?) to get the faucet out of the hands of a 1 year old who knows to roll the office chair to the counters in which to turn it on.

ALWAYS pick up the closest child to hide said nipplah.

NEVER trust a 1 year old to make the right choices

ALWAYS run in ANY and EVERY direction when you notice a calm and quiet fall over your house for longer than 26 seconds and don't stop until you get to the bottom of it.   (this routine can sometimes proof disasteress at naptime)

NEVER let the babies outside to play while you finish this last hurry fast I just need to get these floors done, before making that trek around the yard with the pooper scooper.

ALWAYS assume it is in fact dog poop that you find your two 1 year olds crouched down inspecting and RUN SCREAMING WILDLY "CUH-CUH, CUH-CUH."  because if you don't.....

NEVER casually pick up a child who has been playing outside who was once crouched down inspecting something on the lawn and you just continued sweeping the floor assuming it must have been a bug or something fun.

ALWAYS use a nail scrubber on dog poop on little hands.

NEVER question the hard as nails drying ability of dog poop within a matter of 10 minutes, it isn't from the day before....it is from 10 minutes ago when they were crouched down inspecting something.  right ? you checked their hands the night before, for sure ? I'm positive ?

ALWAYS check the otha brotha...because yes, they are both nasty little, if it's trouble or poop we'll find it, bastards.

NEVER forget to laugh.  even during the 'crappiest' times.  (pun intended)

ALWAYS forgive immediately following clean up.  but ONLY because you're cute and I could kiss your whole faces off. 

Movie Monday

I could be posting about the movies, "White Chistmas" or "Frosty the Snowman"  as it's FRIGGIN' SNOWING AT MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW-AH !  I have at LEAST 1 inch and it's just comin down.
Are you serious about this weather ?  I could spit to June it's so close.  

Now if you are looking at this picture and realize that it is a wisteria blossom, you would be right.  My bush BLOOMED this year and I've wanted to talk about it but the excitement of it blooming for the first time in 6 years sends me to the closest chair with a tingly head.   OH MAH GOODNESS !  I am madly in love with it.  and now she's getting snowed on. blah :( 

(sigh)

Ok, back to movies.   I have 2 for you.

FIRST ONE.  I suppose you'll realize why we went to see it once I tell you who is in it.
Just Wright
It's about a physical therapist (QUEEN) who's sexy cousin wants to land a basketball player. 
Queen loves the game (of course she does) and together they end up landing the same basketball playing man. 
This movie was very predictable.   Queen also doesn't pull off the intimate scenes for me, but that may just be because she's gay. :)  or maybe it's because I can't bear to see her with a man.
My wife asked me if I found her sexy in this movie.  She didn't even have to finish before I responded with a big yes.  :)   The reason isn't because she's the kind of sexy that most of America thinks is sexy....although I do think she's very beautiful.  But I'm mostly attracted to her dignity.  Her inner strengths.   Her amazing self confidence.   She has so much power and tries to empower others.   I also like her physical size because she could pick me up and squeeeeeeze me.  you know, because she loves me so much.
ok, enough about Queen.

My review : again, very predictable, but great feel good movie.  I like feel good movies.

Treading Water
A movie about a gay woman who will never live up to her mother's expectations.   ESPECIALLY if she continues her chosen and selfish lifestyle.  (hmm)  It deals with how families who say a lot of words really don't say anything of meaning and how screwed up you get because of it.

My opinion -  it was fine.   slow at times.   very believable for those of us who's families don't accept our lifestyle.

That's all I got.   Tune in again for cute pictures and a week FULL of posts.

Insomniac

Gone for a week and I'm comin' back with nothin'.
I just thought I'd share though. 

Most of my young and adult life I've had trouble getting to sleep.  I attribute some of it to my wild imagination and have no answers for the rest of it.
When J and I started dating. you know, so by the 2nd or 3rd date I had moved in and was sleeping in the same bed.   We had SOOO much to talk about.   We could talk all day and night about our lives.   It was all interesting and wonderful and NO WAY, you drank at the hotel after the state championships basketball game with your roommates, (drool, gaze) tell me more.    I can still remember that new feeling.
ANY WAYS.  What I realized was her stories were putting me to sleep.   :) ha ha ha  Not because they weren't interesting, pointing out the drooling gazing over every word, but it relaxed me.   Her voice was so calming and I was in such a good place and so happy and so in love that off I'd go.
This became a routine.   Each night I would usually use my cutest whiniest (it's always cute in the beginning) voice and pull her out of her first session of REM sleep to tell me a story.    It wasn't long (4 years later) before she ran out of stories.    I had her repeat some of my favorites but even that got old...and I started questioning her as I felt like some of the details had changed....or so I thought they did.  hee hee
She was sick of defending her life stories...you know, that happened to her....to me who wasn't there and probably fell asleep half way through the first time around any ways.   So we came up with another plan.
Our game, kind of.  
If I Had 500 Million Dollars.   basically an endless amount of money to do with whatever I chose.
We would talk about what houses we'd buy, where, cars, who we'd give money to, how we'd hide away......it was awesome.   I was all about the stores I could shop in to decorate....J was off building some garage type warehouse that had mini race cars and a full sized basketball court and swimming pools and motorcycles. :)
We still do this some times for fun.    Usually not at night because who the hell has time to talk let alone sleep with 5 kids.   It seems like there's always SOMEBODY who's up or needs to go potty or is scared OR heard the sprinklers come on so he jumps up in his crib (right next to our bed) and starts yelling,  "MOM !   pause  MOM !   J !" (yes he calls mommy J- J it's pretty darn cute)  until J finally acknowledged him and said, "what"  he points at the window, "wah-ah"  to which mommy J says, "yip, water buddy, go back to sleep"
He was so excited that he did this for, ummmm, 20 minutes.    I slept through 15 of them :) ha ha
I guess what I'm trying to say is that the cure for insomnia is children.    And then it's not because you CAN'T go to sleep, it's the kids that don't let you sleep.  And instead of taking a sleeping pill we should be giving them.   Or that's my idea.  If you have a better one, please share.  ;-)

I have since carried this tradition on with Sydney.    Only now we build cool and fun rooms in our house.    We have a bubble room, a trampoline room, a room with foam squares to jump in, a slide from Syd's bedroom window that goes down to the pool, a room that has every kind of candy and ice cream ever made...our own little ice cream shop.
It takes her mind off of whatever seems to be racking it at the time and moves her to a happier place.    It seems to work.   (still having night terrors, but not the nightmares that we were struggling with)

Everyone is asleep right now.  I'm going to go build a house with my wife and then turn in.  :)
Good night.

See, it went down like this.....

****updated****
Syd's little snake loving friend from school came over for a playdate after school.  
All of the kids take a few minutes to play with the snake.
Super thoughtful neighbor catches 19 worms (snake food) and brings them over.
I suggest to the kids that we should wash the worms off (gets off any pesticides that may be in your lawn to hurt the snake and the dirt)
All 5 (the boys had a friend over) agree and wash them thoroughly in our water table out back.
I put all of the worms in a jar and place them in my fridge (I'm pretty butch, but worms next to the celery even made me gag a little)
Kids go outside to play.
Playdate friend comes back in a half hour later.  by herself
I ask where the kids are, she responds with "across the street playing".
She heads to see the snake again.
I continue with my chores.
Her mom comes.  she goes home.

>>>>>>>>>fastforward>>>>>>>>>>>

I was going to change the paper towels in the bottom of the snakes make shift home.
Snake is gone.
hmmm ?
I tell J that the snake has in fact escaped.
She responds with, "nice, really nice" (there was a face and shifty pissed off eyes that went with her response)

Both my front and back door were wide open for a lot of the afternoon.   PLUS.  My backdoor was open the entire day AND the snake container was by the back door.  
My thoughts are that the little guy made his way out (because our little friend didn't know to put the lid on tight) and took off for the hills.  
Good bye my little friend Alex aka Snake.

Syd wants to go to the pet store to get another one. 
I told her that we could look for another one in the yard, but that snakes are not meant to be kept up in a little cage.  They need to roam free.
(sigh)
I'm gonna miss him too.

Now everbody pray that it did go outside and that my wife isn't going to find it inside.   She'll never let me keep another small, non dog
animal AGAIN.  

******update******
cuz you knew there would be :)
I'm happy to say that at 7:48 am, I spotted and re captured Alex the Snake.    He was wrapped and woven through the air intake vent going down the stairs.   
I'm happy.  Syd's over the moon.   She has a friend that is out of town and wants them to meet before we release him.
J is ecstatic.   her response to the news was, "Good!"  (I'm pretty sure she pulled a face and rolled her eyes...but it was over the phone so I couldn't see it.   but I could HEAR it)
Now I just need to ask my neighbor to catch some more nightcrawlers.    When he went missing I put his house in the gay-rodge and the worms in my garden.   DAMN, damn it all to hell (fists in the air) 
In other unrelated news, I had a sex dream involving Queen Latifah last night. (I'm ovulating)  It's going to be close to 70 degrees today.  aaaah, it's gonna be a good day.

The value of experience

There are things that I have learned in my life that have helped me today.   One would be the ability to catch and hold snakes.    I was raised by a canal, so there were snakes and frogs by the handful.
Yesterday all of that experience helped my boys catch their very first garter snake.  (garden snake)
Spencer spotted him, Cam helped me catch him so he is officially both boys pet.    Spencer named him Snake.  Syd named him Alex.
We put him in a storage container.   I caught an earthworm for his dinner.   He may visit Syd's school tomorrow and then we are going to let him go back in to the wilds of our backyard.  :)

Just rub some robitussin on it

Last night while getting the kids out of the van, Nathan slid out of his car seat landing on the floor and started screaming holding his left leg up.    I was standing with arms out waiting for him to walk over to me so that I could help him out of the van.   I noticed that he stepped once and didn't really use his left foot.  Then, he stepped once again and it was on the side/top of his foot.   OMG !  I was so scared something was seriously wrong.    He had only slid down out of his seat....but like sliding down my bed...when I caught him even...I knew all too well that he could have broken it.

Now this alone wouldn't be a reason to take him away.   But a couple of weeks ago I took him in because he seemed to be limping on what I thought was his left leg, but the doctor determined was in fact his right leg.   x-rays were taken of both legs high and low, the results were clear.   They told me to bring him in if he was still limping...he was still limping but it seemed to be better so I didn't and then it was fine after a few days.   We never did figure out why or what happened.

DURING this time Sydney, while practicing her back handsprings downstairs, broke or possibly sprained her bird finger.    I didn't take her in for x-rays because what would they do about it.   Nothing.
The knuckle was swollen twice it's size.  I gave her motrin and buddy wrapped them.

Spencer decided to kiss Syd's curling iron in the bathroom when he went potty.    His bottom lip was one big blister. 

Syd burned her knuckle on the curling iron 3 days later.   Also leaving a nice blister.

Yesterday Ryan slipped while climbing up the nightstand in my room hitting his mouth on the nightstand on his way back down, almost knocking 2 teeth through his bottom lip. 

Cameron threw his buzz lightyear gun at Sydney's forehead last week leaving a nice bruise.

Spencer and Cameron were in a cat fight, Spencer still has scratches on his face that are healing.

I couldn't make this stuff up.

Back to last night....so I take Nathan in the house....expecting the worse...hoping robitussin would fix it.   I laid him on the floor and undressed him.     Revealing his new summer legs full up bruises and little scratches.   He had gone down the slide with the big bumps and had 3 bruises that were healing on his spine.   The tops of his feet and knuckles were scratched up from falling on the sidewalk.  He had the toddler trademark bruising on his forehead where he's bumped his head on the table corners, chairs, counters, each other.    I mean, looking at him...you would say...clearly this child is abused.
Not even taking into consideration that he's had x-rays on both legs recently.

I manipulated his leg and ankle, had him walk and finally determined that his foot had fallen asleep while driving and probably didn't work and hurt a little when he stood up.  WHEW !
I would have taken him in....even if they would have investigated me.   I suppose I would have pulled off the decorative vinyl lettering on my wall as you walk in to my house that says, "Silence is Golden, Duct tape is silver" would be a good idea. 
I have honestly considered making this and putting it on my wall :) ha ha

I have a feeling things will get worse as they get older.   At least by then they will all be able to tell child services what happened.  That mommy doesn't in fact take a curling iron to them when they don't eat all of their vegetables.  

Conversations with the kids !

Cam : I'm going to play at Max's
Me : You can't hon, he's in Arizona
Cam : No he's not, Dora is
Me : No honey, if Dora was in Arizona she's be arrested and deported
Cam : nuh uh

Ryan : (pushing as hard as he can)  *fart*  scuse you
Me : excuse me
Ryan : (giggling still pushing) *fart*  scuse you
Me : no, excuse me
Ryan : (pushing even harder....nothing)  *coughs hard*  scuse you
Me : (shake head, roll eyes)

Sydney : I did it !
Me : Was it as bad as you thought ?
Sydney : No, wellllll, it was kinda bad at the end.   The end was spicy diahrrea.  You know, like salsa, it burned coming out.  you know what I'm talking about ?
Me : Ya, spicy like salsa.  oooh.  sorry.

Spencer : (pulls my shirt up, blows raspberries on my belly)
Sydney : mom, is your stomach EVER going to go down
Spencer : (sits up, looks at my stomach, pondering what Syd just said)
Me : I don't know Syd  (note : I am even laying down)
Spencer : (covers my belly up.  then uncovers my belly again.  smiles...blows a raspberry)
Sydney : I'll bet if you did sit ups it would go down faster
Me : You know what....you are probably right
Spencer : (lays on my stomach and begins kneading it like bread dough)

Me : Nathan, are you poopy ?
Nathan : (shakes head no, smiles)
Me : Nathan, are you sure you aren't poopy ?
Nathan : (walks over to Ryan, pulls at his diaper in the back, looks down, pulls a funky face and says) eeeeew poo poo.
Me : Ryan's poopy ?
Nathan : (nods yes)
Nathan was in fact the poopy one.

Thank you for all of your kind thoughts about my cousin.   I think we could all use a good dose of therapy about our fears ;-)

And then it was just you.....

One of my best cousin's husband fell asleep at the wheel on his way home from work last night/early this morning.     He died.  My cousin Ashley got the call this morning at 9 am.  
Just like that and he's gone.    He left a wife and 4 little kids....his oldest just celebrated her 8th birthday a couple of weeks ago her youngest is 1.
Ashley is a woman with a very strong faith system.   I'm certain that with the help of her family and the church she will be fine.  

I always fear "the call" and we've never really had "the call" in our family.   I keep waiting for the shoe to drop.   
I see families tragically ripped apart by cancer and car accidents.    I'm the one who always asks the question...why not my family ?   Why theirs ?    It all seems so random, so how is it that we have missed the ax.   Not that I want something to happen to my family....heavens no.   I just hate being afraid of it.   I constantly ask myself if this is just my mind, or if it's a sign of something to come, a mothers/womans intuition.    Is, that I sense something is going to happen mean that it's going to happen ? 

Do you ever think, while driving down the freeway.    Hmm ? What if I were in a car accident RIGHT now ?   Lets see, I have Syd in the car with me.  The boys would lose their mother and their sister.  ugh.  Or, if I have all of the kids and I think....what if I crashed and 3 of us died.   Or, 3 of them died.  Or, I died. 
I think about J, and how life would be for her.    Would they remember anything.    Would they remember me.
 I wonder if my cousin thought about it.    I wonder if she played scenario's out in her head of what it would be like alone, to raise all of those kids without their dad.  They will never really know what a great man he was....they are all so young. 

I hate that I even think about this stuff.    I can't seem to stop the thoughts from coming.   
When I was little we lived by a woman who was SOOO-OH-OH protective of her only child.   She was a single mom and wouldn't let her out of her sight.   She was 8 or 9 ?   One day the mother let her walk to her piano teachers house to deliver some papers.   At the same time a kid that was in my classes brother was aiming a gun out the window at her head thinking it was unloaded and BAM.   Just like that she was gone.    All of that worry.    All of that protection.   None of it saved this little girl or her poor mother, who ended up in the psych ward and nobody knows what ever became of her.
It's because of stories like this that I think...shit...maybe this mother had the intuition.   Maybe I have it too.

I remember getting an email from Ashley a few months ago....Getting to know you....or something like that.   There was a question on it that asked, When was the last time you cried ?   Her response was...this morning when Dustin left for work for 4 days. (his work took him away for a few days at a time)    She hated it when he was gone and now he's gone forever.  
And now it's just her.
She has a teaching degree.   I'm thinking she'll move back to Utah, to be closer to her family.  Get a job. 
My heart just breaks for her.    You work and build and work and build and work and it all unravels in a matter of seconds.   (snap) Hi, Mrs. M.  I need you to have a family member or friend bring you to the hospital.  There's been an accident.

It's these moments when you should feel like wrapping your arms around your loved ones and feeling blessed for having them.   So why does it just leave me feeling sad and more scared ?   Just waiting for that impending shoe.   I can't lose them.   Not one of them.   I fear I could never get over it.   How will she ever get over it.

Hey, you look just like.......

my dad's, sister's, friend's, dog's, owner's, cat.
I have that face. The one that EV-ER-EE-BO-DEE thinks they recognize or know.
I used to tell J this and she was nice and would agree. It wasn't until we were stopped at the security check point at the airport and ID'd because they didn't believe me that I wasn't this girl they went to high school with, that she fully agreed with me.  
I am approached all of the time.    Now it's J who says, ya....she gets that all of the time.
I have even had friends say that they swear they saw me on their vacation on the beach.
Any hew. I have also been told that I look like famous people.
There was a thing on facebook where you changed your face to look like someone famous that you are always compared too. I couldn't decide :)
I thought I'd let you decide.
Here are a few.   I have been told by different people at different times that I look like the following.

I know it's hard.   Try your best though.