2 Funerals and a couple of Weddings !

ugh !  I don't know what's wrong with me lately.   I just can't wrap any of my stories (and trust me, they are good stories) into any blog posts.    Which SERIOUSLY pisses me off because I need to get them down so that I don't forget all of this stuff.

I really have nothing to say right now.  well except (you knew that I couldn't not say something, hell, I can't remember the last time I was at a loss for words)   Well there was that time at the pool during swimming lessons when the, ahem, larger woman was snapping pictures of her kid jumping off of the diving board in a sarong.  What's sarong with that you ask ?   I'm preeeeetty sure she wasn't wearing anything under her sarong !  aaaaand, she didn't seem to mind when the wind would kick up just a bit and wisp one flap of her sarong open.  (I can't...no I can't relive this...you'll just have to go on in your own minds without me)

We went to a funeral of a good friend today.   He was 41 years old.   There is never a good enough reason that people are taken from us so young.  
We were getting ready for it this morning.  Dressed in our fanciest pants and shirt that can also be paired up with a nice necklace to be worn at a wedding (or 2)....I hear a conversation start between Syd and J.
Syd : "Mommy J, are you a boy or a girl ?    cuz sometimes I can't tell.....and I think, is she a boy ? or is she a girl ? and then I get all confused and think, should I call her daddy ?  Daddeeee. but that's not right. ha ha ha so I think, no, I'll just call her Mommy J.  so.  are you a boy or a girl ?"  (followed up with lots of giggling)
J : "you're funny Syd.  I'm even dressed in my girliest clothes today"
Syd : "hmm"

We leave tomorrow for our 2nd journey to visit the west coast.   It's going to be GORGEOUS weather.  78 all week long.   We didn't get to hit the beach last time we were there (too cold) so we are making it a point to hit it a few times this trip.  

Remember when I gave you pointers on Disneyland and yadda yadda.   I wanted to suggest something else to think about when planning trips.
We decided this time to rent a home.    It is the same price as our hotel would be, and granted would have the kitchen and 2 bedrooms.  but it also had the elevator and stairs and people above and below us that I worried were going to kill us because the kids were being so noisy.   
Now we have a backyard (fully fenced)  a washer and dryer, 3 bedrooms, 2 1/2 baths and a garage.  to put the kids in when they are acting up :) ha ha hmm hmm.
We tried to find a house with a pool, but booking it a week before we were leaving and it being a holiday weekend...there was just no way.  so book in advance
Nice right ?!

We have babysitters lined up to come to the house so that we can go to the wedding reception (he's marrying in the mormon temple and we people aren't allowed there) which is going to be dinner served and on the beach.  aaaaaah.   now if there was going to be an open bar.  it might just be a PERFECT night out :)

Speaking of babysitters...that is where the 2nd funeral comes in.  No.  my children did not kill the babysitter. but her dad just succumbed to cancer after fighting for less than a year.   She has a little brother who's 11 and a sister in college.  Much too young to live the rest of their lives without their dad.   We will be in California during the funeral.    

I have had the WORST fucking week with my kids.   I told J that I'd rather just leave them home and us go.   She comforted me with the fact that we will have a swimming pool (there is one that the neighbors share as part of their association) we will be having fun, (we are going to Adventure City and the San Diego wild animal park), and don't forget the beach.   PLUS.  my wife will be with me every single second and that's 2 against 5 which is MUCH better than 5 against 1.  which with twins, let alone 2 sets, most days feels like 59 against 1.

We haven't packed yet....we had to get the kids to bed...and then I of course needed to blog a whole lot of rambling crap.  :)
Just think.   I'll be posting pictures of SUPER happy people real real soon !
Happy Trails !





 
   

Sweeter than a southern bell in a chocolate puddin' wrestlin' match !

My babies are just about the sweetest and tastiest things you've ever laid eyes on. 
What's sweeter than the eye candy is the things they say.
For instance.

The other day Ryan was screaming his head off.  (it seems someone was cutting his left arm off/he wanted his milk for naptime RIGHT NOW)
Nathan came from the playroom, walked over to Ryan, put his finger up to his lips and loudly hissed, "sssshhhhhh !"
It didn't seem so nice, but then Nathan followed it up with a couple of gentle strokes to Ryan's head and face with his hand.   Reached up on the counter and snagged one of the binkys I had gotten out to give them for naps.  Walks over to Ryan, shoves it a little harshly but lovingly into his mouth and says, "ah-ok ? ah-ok!"
Sure enough.  Ryan was quiet and Nathan clasped his hands together (we call it his bouncer stance) and stood patiently waiting for his milk and binky.

If that wasn't enough, there was this one time.....(this actually happens daily)
The babies were playing with toys.   Nathan took Ryan's toy.  Ryan began to wail at the injustice of it all.
Nathan hands the toy back to Ryan....Ryan immediatly stops crying and says, "tane-chew (thank you)" to which Nathan responds with, "ah-cum (welcome)" and they carried on as if nothing ever happened.

These events are constant...the kindness they both show is awesome to watch.   
Nathan will try to comfort anyone who is distraught....when he's not antagonizing and teasting them :)
Ryan will hug and kiss each of his siblings, giving up a toy if he thinks that he's just taken it from them or if they look threatening :).

This set doesn't seem to buddy up as much as Spencer and Cam did.   They fight more.  They don't team up  when things are against them.   They don't stick up for each other like their brothers did.   I was worried for a long time that they wouldn't be as close as Spencer and Cameron...but slowly they are coming together.    Each day they show consideration for the other and are playing with each other more and more.
Soon enough they will be inseperable.
Just like their older brothers.

Movie Monday !!! (BEEP BEEP BEEP, HONK HONK)

Settle down, settle down. I know how much these mean to you.
geeeesh ! ;-)

Went to the movie's Saturday.  Didn't eat popcorn.   Just sayin'
(yes, you can comment about how that is like an AA member having lunch at the friggin' bar...or someone with ODD getting out of a room with bacteria filled door knobs shaped like toilet handles) Damn. The challenges I face day to day.

Ok. enough of my ramblings.

We, like the rest of America apparently, went and saw :
Toy Story 3. HUGE fan of 1 and 2.
Andy's grown up, the toys are being put away, given away and thrown away as he heads off to college. And like any other toy that can come to life when we aren't looking...they get into trouble.

My opinion :  JUST as good as 1 and 2.   J said her favorite is still 1, but after discussing how the characters were just introduced in 1 and how we had never known toys to come to life like that, it might be those things that were swaying her vote.   She of course agreed and we both settled on 3 is just as good as 2, but 1 ROCKED !  (there is a part with a bear that scared the SHIT out of my kids.  they sat through the entire movie without running up and down the rows once though.  I'd say they liked it too)

Avatar - yes.   I KNOW I'm way behind and, like who hasn't seen Avatar ?  sadly.  me.  and my wife....because she's not allowed to watch any movies unless she's in another state and even then I call her every 15 minutes because HELLOOOOO, let me tell you every single itty bitty disaster that happened today with exaggerated details and body and facial expressions, because damn it, you should be home helping me instead of kicked back in bed watching some movie that I can't review, eating licorice and drinking a diet coke.
ahem.  I'm sorry I got off the subject.
Avatar is about a guy who goes to fight aliens/life on another planet.  They are blue.
Sigourney Weaver is in it.  (surprise surprise) and nothing rips through her stomach.   Although when the blue guy runs with her in his arms....like something ripped from your stomach, it's pretty freaky.
ANY WAYS.
My opinion - sci-fi.  not my thing, but it was good.   The special effects were awesome.  
I always look for the deeper meaning in movies like this and Toy Story.    I can read war, illegal's, pollution all over this movie.  Avatar, not Toy Story.  (although there was that part when Buzz speaks Spanish :)

For my gay peeps.  Looking for a good time, rent. no no no...just kidding.
And Then Came Lola
A movie with a twist.   If you've seen "Sliding Doors" with Gwyneth Paltrow my review might make more sense.
There are 3 scenarios playing out for this poor, has commitment issues but loves sex, lesbian.   3 different paths from one situation.  Although she prepares for the upcoming scenes in the last scene which helps her progress in the future scenes.  (whew)
Oh screw it.    The acting is good the sex is better (for those of you counting)  and just an FYI....it's not about sex,  no, well it is. kind of.
There is tons of straight sex....it's all over Friends episodes, it's on...um...Seinfeld.  Even MASH had sex in it.  Ok, so that's the last time I watched TV.  :) ha ha   no seriously.   We watch movies and shows with these passionate scenes between a man and a woman and barely notice because they are so common.  So I'm just giving a heads up on the gay ones.  cuz I know it can be important. These lesbian movies aren't rated on sexual content alone, although I do take that into consideration because we all know how a good lesbian sex scene can be disastrous if done wrong.  and can IN FACT ruin the ENTIRE movie for me.  I mean for people.

My opinion - Watch it.   Kind of silly but...well, I already spoiled it for you.  Great sex scenes :) ha ha

The Baby Formula - A movie about 2 lesbians who use science to make a baby together.

My opinion - We watched it for about 7 1/2 minutes and then turned it off to watch, And Then Came Lola.
yes.  in my opinion.  it WAS that bad.  and we watched about 7 minutes too long.

That's it.   I would have another one but Sydney wanted to get Fern Gully. AGAIN.  it was either that or the Wizard of Oz and shit, we've already Netflixed it 5 or 6 times  DAMN those kids for wanting a movie. :)
Any hew.   Sorry I've been missing in action.  Stiffled a little.   and SO busy.
I have cleaned closets, steam cleaned floors, cleaned out the gay-rodge and kept my family fed and alive (barely)
I'm on a countdown to California.  yes, we're going back.  We have a  Nephew getting married over the 4th. 
The last trip was so much fun and I hope this one is too.    My friend Liz is going to meet us at the beach to take some family pictures.  I need you all to start praying now that things go well.   You can have the best photographer but good lord with children like these.  you get it.  start praying. 

It's 80 degrees today.   I think I'll take the kids to the park.  I hope you make the most of your 80 degree day, wherever you are.

When a kid has 2 moms...

and there is a class project to build a box car. (a car, out of a box, or 2 and some paper plates, tinfoil, paint and a foam noodle)
and the kindergartener who has been given the project says she wants a convertible bug.

Now the wheels aren't normally all bent under...because you are suppose to be carrying it

Nope, not like this....

Sweeeeeeet right ?

Wanna know what's sweeter ?    We had an issue with the babysitter who was coming to watch the kids while I ran to Spencer's IEP evalutation for next year and to go to Syd's kindergarten end of the year/graduation-but really just singing and parade wearing these cars.

J was going to come home and watch the 4 boys so that I could run over.    And then Syd said heavy heartedly, "mama, are you coming to my program ?"  to which I confirmed, "yes honey, I wouldn't miss it"

She then followed it up with, "do you think we could call Mommy J so that SHE can come too ?"  :(

Thing is...I'm always the one who goes...I'm always the one who gets to snap the pictures and watch her facial change as she stands up proud and tall and starts singing.

I felt bad for Syd and I felt bad for J.    I agreed to stay home so that J could go but that wasn't the answer.

I was able to get a neighborhood girl who had JUST that hour free to come over and watch the kids so that we were both able to attend the program.    

Sydney RAN and JUMPED in J's arms when we arrived.   She was so excited to see her there.    After they walked their cars around the gym, Sydney happily found a place on her Mommy J's lap.    I'm so glad she was able to participate.   It was very important to Syd and more importantly...it made her feel important. 

A snake and 3 guinea pigs

ahem
Guinea pigs are a mutation between a hamster and a rabbit.   Their little faces remind me of a rabbits at times and when they move they hop with their back legs.  They also kick to the side if they want you to let them go.
They are extremely cute and if you get them when they are babies you can handle them a lot which will make them SUPER SWEET when they get older.
You should always buy them in 2's.   They don't like to be alone.  They need lots of room to run around.
You have to change their bedding out (because of the poop and pee) every 3-5 days I changed it out every other day trying to tame the smell. 

They stink.   I can't describe the smell but it's hay-like.   I suppose it's because they eat hay.  Timothy hay to be exact.
They poop and pee ALL of the time.   In their beds, on your floor, in your hand.  They poop so much because they eat so much....thus having the name guinea PIG.

Sydney had to give her snake back to nature.    She was SUCH a good little mommy to it.   I NEVER had to tell her to change the paper towels or give him fresh water or feed it.    She would get it out daily and talk sweetly to it and then put it gently back.   She did it all on her own.   It really surprised me at how responsible she was.
She was so so sad when we let Kevin go.   That's what she decided was his name in the end.   She cried off and on about it (whined) throughout the weekend.
I talked to J about maybe getting a pet that was intended or born in captivity that she could have.
We agreed that after Sadie passed on we would get another pet.  not a dog.  something.

My friend growing up always had guinea's.  I loved them too.   I mentioned it to the wife who has an EXTREME phobia to mice and other small crawly varmints.  She was open to it and thus started my google search about having guinea's. 
I found out that they need to come in pairs.   and found some through our local KSL classified.
Well as soon as I found them I made calls and bada bing bada boom....we were crating home not 2 but THREE guinea's.   I kept thinking that each big kid would have his own.  J kept reminding me that the dog wasn't dead.

The big boys didn't give a shit.   Nathan LOVED them.   Ryan just wanted to torment them.   Syd was on the fence.   Maybe had I let her pick them out and go through the whole process, but I didn't want her to get all excited and then not have it work out.
By about the 3rd day, both J and I were ready to give them away.   They hadn't been handled much so they were pretty skittish.    I was changing the bedding and the water and feeding them because the kids didn't care much about it.    They LOVED to feed them lettuce, bananas, carrots and apples though.   Because it was more hands on I suppose....more exciting than just watching them squeak.

So we listed them.    The ones that I had looked at on this classified page had been on there a while.   I was worried we'd end up keeping them for a couple of months. 
Surprisingly we didn't.    We had several calls interested in the first day.   2 that had made plans with J to meet up and buy them.  We were worried that they would both end up wanting them and then neither responded after about the 3rd email back and forth.  (aint it the way)
And then last night we got a call.   She wanted to come right then to take a look.   She brought her 3 little kids ages 3-10 and they took them home after only 10 minutes. 
WOOO HOOOOOO

We had already explained to Syd that the original owners had sold them because the kids didn't like them or play with them anymore....but that the kids had decided that they missed their pets and wanted them back and that we had agreed.   (lies, lies...all of them lies)  real story : a woman saw a man throw a small cage in a dumpster behind a gas station last October.  She went to fetch the cage for her turtle, thinking, hey..free cage.   She found the guinea's all cold and sickly...super skinny.  She couldn't leave them...took them home and nursed them back to life...but with the understanding from her fiance, that once they were healthy, she would have to give them up.  
Syd was PERFECT when we told her.   When the lady and her kids came to buy them (the kids stayed downstairs with me)  she was very very sad.
I felt bad.
I really did.
But both J and I are so glad that they are gone.   That sounds terrible huh ?
Any ways....now Syd is asking me what pet I'm not allergic to ?   What pet can she have ?   I said, "you have Sadie honey"     "I don't want Sadie.  I want a fun pet !"   (sigh)

So far she's asked for a cat that can stay outside with several blankets (I'm allergic) a turtle, a cow, some fish and another guinea pig.
Carey had mentioned a pet rock and so we will be painting one to look like a turtle, a cow, a fish and a cat.  :)

And just like that......

BOOM.  they're gone.
buh bye guinea pigs.  
We were juuuust starting to warm up to them.   I'm so glad they are gone...I didn't want to get too attached.  Both me and the wife knew that would be a bad thing.    
Sydney cried.  
I told her we could play Wii tomorrow night.
She cried and pleaded, no tonight !
I said tomorrow night
She cried and asked for a turtle.
I told her we could play Wii tomorrow night.
:)

The lady brought her 3 children 3-10 yrs old to see them.  They were in love.   I hope they enjoy their knew home.  A LOT less noise I'm sure.
We told the kids that the original owners wanted them back.   wha ?  it was easier this way !  don't judge me.  I'm setting a PERFECT example....I'm showing my children how when someone gives you something...but then realizes how much they loved it...the best thing to do is to make things right by giving it back.  hmph !
Now. let the smell of hay, or guinea or whatever that smell was...get OUT of my house !

WAIT....Movie Monday

I watched a movie a while ago...and I waited for an upcoming Monday to review it and then I kept forgetting.  :)

Amour De Femme - OBviously a french film.  with subtitles.  wanna know what.  you won't care.
It's about a wife and mom who falls for this dancer who for some reason makes me think of Bernadette Peters all through the movie.  (it's not her sister, I googled her :)  any hew.  There is this whole build up to this explosive kiss and aaaaah.  Such a great movie.
They do however make the husband out to be a huge ass in the end....I don't think they need to shatter his reputation just so you feel better about his wife moving on to another woman.   (because she is not feeling special, she is not feeling loved)

My opinion - It was good.  I recommend it. and so does my wife :)

whew.  glad I could get this one down before I forgot the details of it to render an actual review and not some thought up...mmm I think it was good....review.  Not that I would EVER do that. :)
Get watching girls.  There's still more to come.

Miserable Monday !

Our AC went out.    It was 90 degrees at midnight last night when I finally decided it had cooled down enough to close all of the windows and doors in the house.    (Eliz.abeth S.mart was literally too close to us to even consider leaving a window cracked) 
To add insult to injury I've had sick kids.
Spencer started with a stomachache on Friday.   Saturday he had diarrhea.   It seemed to just leak out of his body and after the 4th outfit change we put him in a pullup.    He's still in one today. 
Yesterday we had plans to play with some friends...WOO HOOOO fun for pride.   Sydney was super excited...so excited that she decided to get a fever of 100.4.
And then this MORNING, Spencer threw up in the toilet....bless his heart...he almost always makes it to the toilet....well if the door isn't locked to keep the friggin' babies out of the friggin' toilet.
Yes.  he was crying about his tummy hurting and started down the hall.   threw up in his mouth and covered it with his little hand to stop it from getting on the floor (again, bless his sweet little heart) I ran down the hall and the bathroom door was LOCKED.   he threw up again...huge.....I got the door open and splat there it came again and then right in front of the toilet.   ni-eeece

Q - do you know what puke smells like in a 90 degree house ?

A- not good.  not good at all.

Q- do you know what 2 trouble making babies do when mommy is putting a pukey boy in the tub.

A- first they slip in the puke.  THEN.  while mommy is cleaning up the puke they go and move the office chair to the counter and start playing in the sink.   AND FINALLY when Spencer is screaming and crying for me in the tub while I'm trying to throw the pukey laundry in the laundry room....I run past both babies who are pulling down Spencer's cereal bowl and spilling it all over my floor.   full cereal bowl...because he didn't eat a thing.

FUUUUUUCK !

Syd continues to have a fever....thing one and thing two are STILL getting into everything and anything.  and the AC guy, who is here now, says that whatever is wrong with the AC unit has nothing to do with what we replaced (the entire damn unit) 2 years ago.

Pray that it's not expensive.  and pray that it can be quickly fixed.
With these sick kids I can't even take them someplace WITH AC.   ugh !
2 down.  3 to go.  or 5, if the mom's get it too. 
Again.....can I call in sick today?   I want to take a personal leave day.

Free to good home !

The mama, Olive !

The sweetest one, Licorice.

The spicy one, Pepper.

Blogging for LGBT families ?

You know, I had no idea what I wanted to write about.  And then I missed the deadline altogether.
I've enjoyed posting the last couple of years about what it's like being gay, married with children.     There are so many things about being gay with kids that someone who isn't doesn't even have to consider.    Like how important it is to be open and honest about your family to those around you so that your kids don't grow up feeling ashamed of who they are and where they come from.    And how a simple conversation between a school friend can get really complicated when the school friend comes from a Mormon mom and dad home.   (I hope she gets to come back and play at our house :)

This year though, I just want to talk about how happy I am to still have my family.     You see, it seems the ever growing trend in our society is falling apart.   We are falling apart or breaking up.
It's not new.  and it's not even something that we own the rights too.   But I've seen first hand how it tears through a family.  

Did you know that in Utah gay and lesbian couples WERE allowed to adopt at one time.   The great politicians of our state put an end to that but there were those that slipped through the cracks and sealed their families by law.   Out of the families that legally adopted,  90% of them have since separated.  split up.  NINETY PERCENT.
We had a group of moms who had kids at or around the same time.   None of us planned it together...we just met coincidentally because of it.   We decided to get together....discuss parenting....let the kids play together.   6 couples started this group. (more joined later) out of those 6 couples 2 of us are still together.
Damn man ! 
I suppose I held the assumption that being 2 women we were better communicators.   Cheated less often.   Were more likely to seek help from trained professionals.   That we'd work harder at keeping "us" together.

You hear about Rosie and Kelli, Melissa and Tammy.   Life was perfect.    They had long term relationships, really long.  Kids.   lots and lots of kids.  and then, what ?   what happened ?  I really want to know....what was so bad that they broke their promises to each other and to their children ?
I take it so personally each and every time, my heart breaks for everyone involved.

Now I know people in real life and even some that I don't know who may read this and think that I'm pointing the finger at them.   That this is directed at them.   Thing is, it's not.   It's so much bigger than even the 50 people that read here.    It's global.   It affects so many gay and lesbian families.

Now I'm not naive.   I know that people get divorced for bigger reasons than, "I am not feeling special.  I am not feeling loved"  I know that even after counseling and talking and working that things just don't seem to work out.  I place no judgement on those who have to make that tough decision to move on. 

Marriage and kids aren't easy.   They should be listed as the hardest jobs in the world.    
It should be hammered into the heads of children starting at a young age about how hard it can get.
Relationships shouldn't start out so damn good.   It shouldn't be all roses and clovers with harps and Air Supply serenading you in the background.   Spending every day worshiping every ounce of someone who in a mere 5, 6 maybe 10 years you can't stand the sight of.

It's not always a  glamorous life.   By now you've both seen what years and bearing babies can do to one's body.    You've probably farted in front of the other person taking away the "mystery" that you once held sacred.   And between dinner and the laundry, somewhere along the way the passion kind of fizzles out after 6+ years.

It's my goal in life to work through it.   To keep the hope that somewhere down the line me and the wife will cross paths running the kids to soccer, basketball, dance, chess club or scouts and see that spark again.  
That the strong flame that brought us together will stay glowing.  like a burning ember.
My job will be to add kindling to it whenever possible.   To keep it alive.  To keep it lit until one day that flame can kick back on and a big ol bonfire will blaze once again.   
And if not.  Well then I suppose like Al and Tipper....we'll split after FORTY YEARS OF MARRIAGE.
Shit.  I wouldn't even know where to go after 40 years.   Who wants to start over after that many years ?

I don't know if this is a generational issue.   If the average life expectancy being so old has changed things.   If the opportunities to meet someone else are on a much larger scale now with the internet.   If we are a society of instant gratification.  If it's just too hard and the embers people hold are suffocated with the day to dayness of it all.     
Maybe having a marriage certificate and the complete support of our loved ones and churches would make all of the difference ?   Maybe having the court recognize you both as parents would make it more real and concrete ?
Maybe not.
But I sure would like to believe that there is an answer.   That there is some way we could all know that we are going to live happily. ever. after.

It's pride weekend here in Utah.   Festivities and fun, oh and the flu.   Spencer is sick today and I'm sure one by one they'll all fall.     We'll be spending our pride chillin' at home.  And there's no place on earth I'd rather be.

Like most things.  I'm late.

Wordless Wednesday