This Moment Friday

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

It's a Spidery Hair day !

Let me just let the cat out of the bag for you. I am not super creative or talented. I simply find different things online or things that I see and try them out. Sometimes I tweak them to make them work for us...but I certainly don't make any of it up.
That being said.

Kids say

Cameron, putting stickers in his dinosaur book
Cameron : Mom, see this guy.....he lost all his guts and that's why he's called a fossil.

Spencer and Sydney discussing surgery and shots.
Sydney : Spencer, did you cry when you got stitches on your eye ?
Spencer : no. no, I was really brave.
Sydney : When I had my surgery. I had to have stitches. Here look. (Sydney pulls the waste of her pants down to reveal the scar...2 inches up from her pubic bone)
Spencer : on your penis Sydney ? your stitches are on your penis ?
Sydney : See Spencer, I had to have a mask on and it smelled like cotton candy. You can get all kinds of smell good smells in your mask.
Spencer : oh.

Cameron walks up to Mommy J who just came in and was setting mail down on the counter.
Cameron : HI MOMMY J ! did you have a good day at work ?
Mommy J : yes Cam, I did.
Cameron : oh good.

Nathan and Ryan are sitting on top of the desk in the office.
Ryan : Hey appoh. Hey appoh. Hey appoh.
Nathan : what ?
Ryan : na na na na na na na (followed by laughter)
Nathan : Hey appoh. Hey appoh. Hey appoh.
Ryan : what ?
Nathan : Hey appoh. (pulls a funny face, including head tilt...followed by laughter)
(I tried to get this on video but nada...DAMN IT. It was funny too)

A little reference to the above conversation -


Thanks Carey....we rarely have a dinner without the kids going through the dialog of several of these stupid video's. :-)


and finally...a picture of Syd's lunch today. I tried some halloweeny foods :)
Mummy's, or pigs in a blanket. Severed fingers, or string cheese and almond slivers. Pumpkin shaped fruit roll up. Snakes, or cheese puffs. a Twinkie, to hold up the pumpkin. and of course a spider made of twist ties....because I wanted to make it extra spooooooky :)

I loved the way the fruit roll up pumpkin turned out...but it was so big that it didn't lay right so I put a twinkie and one of the cheese puffs under it to try and even it out :) cuz...you know...if you're gonna put something under a pumpkin...I think a twinkie would be just the thing.

J leaves tomorrow for Denver. Ryan has been very whiny tonight and has had 3 explosive diarrhea diapers. Nathan 1. My mom called and said that she left work sick today. My little niece, who we had dinner with on Sunday is throwing up today.
Please god...please keep me healthy until after I eat ice-cream thursday night and J comes home.
Amen.

I'm just a witch !

One of my dearest friends throws a Witches Night Out Party every year. I haven't ever been before this year, I don't know her friends all that well and you know how I am super shy and all. :)
I decided this year was THE YEAR !
See she has a couple of Fortune tellers come to give fortunes while you drink and eat and mingle.
One of the readers apparently works with the Salt Lake Police Department and did a reading for the hostess last year and was RIGHT ON in some very specific areas of her life. Not all vague like mine.
Any ways. Knowing that this party was going to be full of Hugh Hefner witches.....I still decided to make my costume. That should have been my first indicator to just stay my ass home.
THEN. 2 minutes before I left...Spencer threw up. We had a babysitter....J was about 45 minutes away.
I left him any ways. I KNOW I KNOW...I'M TERRIBLE. I'M THE WORST MOM EVER. If he was anything like the other 2....it wouldn't come up again for at LEAST a few more hours.
I was picking some desserts up for the party, taking something to share and wanted to get there early so that I wasn't standing in line for the reader.
As the garage door closed apparently Ryan who had been clingy threw up in the wood chips outside. ugh. HUGE NEON SIGNS "STAY HOME ! STAY HOME !" flashed at each corner on my way to the party. I continued on.

Me and my neighbor both had witches parties the same night and made our skirts together. We got a picture together on the big night.....at that very moment I felt like a neat treat.
I showed up and felt like a fairy.
I guess I didn't expect anything different.
There were a few friends from High School there....nuff said....one of them said that she wouldn't have recognized me on the street. That I didn't look anything like my old self. Another one said that she always thought I looked just like Mariah Carey. OMGAYKM (oh my god are you kidding me) Not like the, you look just like Hillary Clinton comments...but COME ON.

I left feeling a little low. My reading was a farce. I went to the party looking more like Mariah Carey in Cirque de soleil on shrooms than slut-tilda the witch...and had to come home to pukey boys and laundry. (sigh) (oh and I guess Ryan lost his cookies all over Jan's face to boot. Her mouth was closed thank god)

That was Thursday night. Cameron joined his brothers at 4:30 am but at least made it to the toilet to finish off the stomach bug from hell 2010 (?)
We had a good weekend recuperating and doing laundry and then last night...Ryan, who has still been super clingy since Thursday...decided to have explosive diarrhea and at 8pm threw up approximately 2 liters of a mixture of dinner, drinks and bile.
Today....Nathan has diarrhea.

It's going to get better right ? It HAS to get better.

2 extremely neat treats.

Britt, you really are the hostess with the mostess

Also neat treats :)

She does such a great job putting these parties together. Right down to the littlest details.
Besides the glow of my self worth burning out :)...it was a great party.
Next year I'm TOTALLY going to slut it out !

The old and the wise !

J's mother, as I previously wrote, is 85 years old. She is Mormon, her husband was a Mormon bishop for many many many years. She's very devout and also watched conference.
J went to take her mom and sister to lunch today and while standing in line at the restaurant she handed J a note and said....I had debated whether or not to give this to you but decided to give it to you because it's how I feel.
Her mother has been more accepting of me and J than a lot of our family members.
My brother and her sister included.
It's amazing to me that someone of her age can be so open minded...and yes, it is an age thing a lot of the time. At a certain point you can be so set in your ways....and this just proves to me that anyone can change. That everyone has the ability to open their minds and hearts to something they don't understand and have been told is wrong.
I'm grateful to have her as my mother in law and I hope that her example spreads far and wide.
I also secretly hope that she has a huge stash of cash somewhere....that's not going to happen so I'll just be happy to join her at Chuck up- r-ama (buffet dining) and try and take with me some of her wisdom and strength.

Fortune Tellers

You know, it's always AFTER the fact that I wish I would have asked more specific questions. Like, will Utah ever allow same sex adoptions ? Will Glenn Beck die from the bubonic plague with underlying shingles and Ebola ? (if there are any glenn beck fans...please leave and do not return to this blog. we have NOTHING in common whatsoever)
When will people realize that being a Fanillow is something to celebrate...and not hide ?
When will my children stop throwing up ? Will my laundry EVER get done ?

My fortune :
I have striking features. I am strong. I am a good friend. I will put up with a lot, but not too much.....I'm not one to be stepped on.
I create order and organization.
My children will grow up and have their affairs in order because of my example.
They love and respect me (even though they don't show it) and know how hard I work for them. I am their number one. They love me more than anything.
They will always know and feel comfortable and will not struggle with friends or in school because they have 2 moms. They will marry and have families and long term committed relationships...again, because of my example.
We will all live healthy long lives.
J and I will stand by each other and our relationship will only get better and stronger.
There are changes coming. Positive ones. It involves meeting a new group of people.
I am a good writer and there is money to be had in it. (mm hmm, right ?)

and I was pleased. slightly vague. could really be spoken for lots of people. 75 % really. but hey, my kids love me...all of my fears of them growing old and happy seemed in the bank.
and then I asked about J's mother. Who although is old (85)....and just had knee replacement surgery, which slowed her down....is extremely healthy...as are most of her older siblings.

answer : not good. not good at all. she is going to need you to take care of her. she won't be able to get herself to the bathroom, she'll need to be carried....you'll need to be the ones to take care of her and then decide if you need to put her in a home. She's going to leave you a lot of money. You need to make sure to get her property in our names so that the home doesn't take it all to pay for her care. We need to get her finances taken care of.

THE END. J's mother is BROKE. like dead broke. has nothing. her property has already been taken care of. The little bit of money she did have from the property was given to the 4 kids to put in an account for her if she does in fact one day need it. (and seriously...it's not enough to do much with)
There is no secret stash or money in the mattress. nothin'
AND. she lives with J's sister. who takes care of her. who will take her to the toilet when she needs to go.
Oh for pete's sake. I was REALLY hoping this woman had the answers. I mean look at her face.
Is that not an honest face of a fortune teller.



GREAT. so now. my kids are going to get their asses kicked in school for having two moms. which will take it's toll on them. making them bitter and resentful. making them HATE me...more than they already tell me that they do. they will rebel and end up in jail. if they're lucky they'll find somebody to love them. hopefully they can share the same parole officer.
(sigh) for 25.00 I was hoping for a miracle. :) ha ha

Keeping track

Who wants to take a guess at how hard it is to get desitin out of newly steam cleaned carpets. huh ? wanna guess ? wanna ? huh ?
It's gonna take more than elbow grease....because I TRIED and couldn't get it up.
damn dong diggity dang.

To say that these two keep me on my toes is an understatement. and although you didn't believe me with the natural disaster post and then that other one, because there is NO WAY that 2 little babies could do that much damage....I've decided to take photographical proof from now on. Because not only can I then say HAH ! I TOLD YOU SO ! I can also keep track of all of this shit so that one day I can simply hand over the books that I print from this blog for them to give directly to their psychiatrists and parole officers, which will then completely remove me as ANY reason for their being there. so HAH ! HAH HAH HAH (cough, cough, cough) I suppose my getting all cocky and stuff isn't the best way to go about this either.

After this incident above Nathan acted like his crazy self but then wanted a nap and laid right down to take it and then woke up and was crazy and happy and all run out in the streety and then cried and wanted to be held and I guess you know where this is going right ? He refused dinner...curled up in my lap and then proceeded to puke on me, him, my other newly steam cleaned floors and all the way down the hall to the bathroom.
On another note...I'm gettin GOOOOD at this whole puke thing. First I overcame a fear of spiders and NOW I can clean up my childrens puke without getting all watery eye'd and gaggy myself. OH ! AND I can clean up melty dog poop now too. (queue congratulatory music)
I was able to take off his clothes....rinse him, my arms and all of the puke out of the tub....then I cleaned out the filter in the tub which was full of puke. AND BECAUSE YOU NEVER BELIEVE ME....HERE'S A PICTURE TO PROVE IT !!!
ha ha ha
Not so much.
He then was his happy happy self and J said she was running to the store for nighttime diapers....both babies bawled and cried and so she took them with her.
She came home...Nate man was naked....apparently while loading the groceries in the car he hurled all over himself and THANK GAWD the parking lot.
We've since changed his jammies and his bedding now once and he's been dry heaving since...but so far nothings coming up.
Poor little man.
Not so poor that if you play in dog poop or flood my house or spit milk all over tomorrow that I won't still put on my angry eyes and call you a little shit. :)
Hope you get feeling better real soon buddy.

Proud Mommy Moments

Proud Mary keep on burnin, and we're rollin, rollin, rollin down the sidewalk.

Nathan has been pedaling his big wheel for a couple of weeks now. He decided to try his luck on his brothers bike and has been rollin along ever since. He will sometimes hit the brakes in an effort to continue motion....but with a little help from a friend, he can get moving in no time at all.


Sydney has a list of extracurricular assignments at school that she can do in order to receive a certificate at the end of the year. She immediately jumped all over it and wrote a book. 20 minutes later and this is what she presented
This is one of 3 in her series. I can't wait to see where the next book takes me.

I have always wanted to have a neighbor just like you, I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.

Now, I'm warning you right off the bat......this post will be filled with content that may make you mad, jealous....it may make you want to puke in your mouth a little. Or. it just may make you happy and all house hunty. and I'll tell you...there are houses in our neighborhood for sell....but you have to qualify first.

Qualifications :
- You must be friendly (you can occasionally talk about people behind their back, but only if you've lived her a minimum of 7 years)
- You have to wave at every car that drives down the road. Whether you know them or not.
- AND you must be willing to risk your life and run out into the road at any given moment to wave down a car that might be going a little too fast.
- You must be able to prepare cookies and dinners for a neighbor in need.
- You will be required to stand out on the sidewalk and talk with a gathering of adult neighbors while little neighbors play from yard to yard and down the street.
- You have to attend block parties and cookie decorating parties and easter egg hunts and emergency preparedness events.
- You need to support all of the children who come knocking at your door to sell cookie dough and muffin mixes. (because one day it's pay backs and you'll have kids in school programs that will sell this stuff too. 5 in fact. at the same time probably)
- Your door must be unlocked for kids to come over and let themselves in, looking for another kid to play with.
- Your lawn has to be kept up, or the ones who have lived here a minimum of 7 years WILL gossip about you. and sometimes even the ones who have only been here 2 years. oh just mow your damn lawn.

This is my neighborhood. Most of the moms with young kids stay at home. Which means that there is usually someone to call last minute to join you at a park for lunch.
Everyone is nice. Seriously. We named it Pleasantville when we moved here because when we would come home 5 people would wave at us before we pulled into our driveway.
J's sister visited us once and came in with her chin on the floor....she said, "a cop just drove by and waved at me. I've never had a cop wave at me in my entire life !!" granted, he lives next door to us...but still, she was thrilled.

Location location location.
Just down the street is the elementary school. Syd crosses 2 neighborhood streets to get there.
A couple of blocks the other way is our pre school. It's in our neighbors house. She does great, she taught Syd how to read like a champ and get this.....we pay $50.00 a month.
Just across the street to the west of the pre school is where Syd takes piano. Again. another neighbor who teaches out of her home. Syd rides her scooter there after school once a week. She charges me $54.00 a month.
I can walk to the bank, grocery store, McDonalds and IFA. If I wanted to cross a busy street I could even walk to the library and a payless shoe store :)
I have 8 girls that have and do babysit for me that just walk to my house. ($10.00 an hour for all 5 kids. $2.00 a kid per hour...but we usually get 2 babysitters for that price...they almost always bring a friend)
I know. nice right.

kickbacks
You are also treated to dinners and treats when a kid ends up in the hospitals PICU after a simple surgical procedure.
I have neighbors who will call and say, "I'm headed to (insert name of store) can I pick anything up for you while I'm there ?"
Always something around the holidays. We have a lady who every year plans an Easter egg hunt for the kids. After the hunt she has homemade scones and orange juice....all served up by her husband who is dressed like the Easter bunny.
We have a neighbor who has a cookie decorating night for Halloween (last week) and has witches brew (root beer in dry ice) and someone does another one at Christmas time.
You can walk to borrow eggs, milk or sugar and sometimes they have kids that want to bring it right to your doorstep.

I won't go on. I mean. how great is this.
We've talked about moving. We've talked about how we have 2 bedrooms and an office that are housing all 7 of us and how nice it would be to add a bedroom or 2 to that, all on the same level.
There is just no way we would move away from all of this.
Kids playing outside on the street until after dark while the moms sit and visit on someone's porch. The sense of security and friendship that we've been able to build.

Pretty great people.

We had a halloween party in our yard Saturday night. A few of us put it together and decided it would be fun for all of the little little kids (9'ish and under)
We ate dinner, played fun games, had a treasure hunt through the neighborhood with flash lights, told scary stories around a fire pit and then watched The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown movie on the wall to our garage. it was SO much fun.
(now you can puke in your mouth a little bit...I know you want to)

It seems I got a lot of pictures of everyone eating. After dinner I was busy with the games and stuff. oh well....here you go. Lots of pictures of eating.







Even the games were about eating.
The Mummy Game. not about eating.
Our witch's story around the campfire. (yes, one of our neighbors dressed up like a witch just for us....her daughter is one of our babysitters)
I love Spencer's face in this.....I think he's buying it.
The witch gave away the last clue for the treasure hunt so everyone took off running. The reason I like this picture is because the woman in the middle (also the PTA president) is trying to tell all of the kids to be careful and watch for cars as they take off for another house to find the treasure) bwaaa haaa haaa haa
Such a great night. It might just have to become an annual thing.

side note : all of the adults in the aforementioned story and pictures are Mormon. They watched conference. They are still nice to us and include us and let their kids play at our house and they participated and helped at the Halloween party.

I did tell them a story around the campfire (just the adults) that I hide kids in my basement and will kidnap theirs too....and once I have them, I turn them gay before sending them back home.
I told them about the appliances we get when we "turn" someone gay. and how we don't just get the toaster ovens anymore but also juicers, mix masters, blenders, microwave ovens...etc.
My point to all of this.
Not all Mormons are close minded. Just wanted to clarify that.
oh and also, my parents haven't treated us any different either. or my aunt.
the end.

oh and also. I miss Mr. Rogers.
It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood,
A beautiful day for a neighbor,
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?

It's a neighborly day in this beautywood,
A neighborly day for a beauty,
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?

I have always wanted to have a neighbor just like you,
I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.

So let's make the most of this beautiful day,
Since we're together, we might as well say,
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won't you be my neighbor?

Won't you please,
Won't you please,
Please won't you be my neighbor?

Flooding part II

Yes the toilet water is in fact at the very tip top of the lid and because you can't see it very well, I'll tell you....water is running down the side of the toilet all over the floor and is probably now leaking in the bathroom downstairs.
Poll time :
Will my babies make it to Thanksgiving ? YES___ NO___
Will mom make it to the end of the week ? YES___ NO___
Will mom be drinking a tall glass of wine when Mommy J comes home ? YES___ NO___
(alright, I'll answer that one.....only if she comes home at 10:30am)

tip toe ghosts !

Ghost feet !


I did a foot. Not because I wanted to feel included...but because all 4 boys seemed reluctant to get white paint all over their feet. WTH. Any ways. I do believe this craft could also second for a turkey, come Thanksgiving. IF you have the high arches like we do :) gobble gobble

Terrible picture...but it shows last years feet and this years feet. on the left are Spencer's and the right Cameron's. You can see we changed it up a little adding the googly eyes instead of having them press their fingers for the eyes. I still had them press a thumb print mouth. I like the ghosts with out the high arch....I like that part filled in a bit. I think next year I'll roll their foot over a little. Any ways. I think it's super fun and EXTREMELY simple craft to do. 2 of my favorite ways to do things. simply and fun :)


what you'll need :black construction paper. white paint. scissors. googly eyes (if you want) glue (if using googly eyes) black paint. feet and fingers

Stowaways

Sunday afternoon we had some friends over for a play date. I had planned on driving them home and heading to a friends house for some craft time.
I put both girls in car seats picked up a friend and headed out.
After turning the car off at our final destination, I turned to pick up some of my supplies to take in the house....out from the back of the car pops a little pokey haired blond kid. Cam. Cute kid, woulda been much cuter had he had ringlets and could sing and tap dance.
He had tucked himself back in the trunk area of the van and hid back there the whole time I drove. drove for 20-25 minutes to pick up, drop off and stop. would this be considered a free range child ? does that count while driving ?
SERIOUSLY !
He wanted to go.
I had to stop at the store on my way home so he not only got to go with mommy...but he got to go to the store...and got a sticker from the cashier And he got to be the only one kid around.
It's been a while since having one on one time with the little pokey haired blond kid.
I don't know that he won't try it again....but I can tell you what....I won't be driving anywhere without checking behind the back seat.

oh and yes, mommy J was frantically looking for him...scouring corners in the house....covering the neighborhood block on foot. ooooh he's lucky we like him.

At lunch time earlier, we had all of the kids sitting at the table waiting to be served.
Nathan's chair was turned skeewampus because we have to turn the babies chairs around in order to get the bungy cord around ALL of the chairs. and we all know how important it is that our chairs are bungy'd.
Any ways. Nathan was just sitting there...minding his own business...waiting patiently to be turned towards the table and served when out of no where he starts screaming his head off and arching his back and standing and sitting and thrashing around. It all happened so fast that I remember thinking What The Hell and then running to him because I knew that it had to be bad by the tone in his scream.
I frantically asked what happened and the other 6 kids who had a look of complete bewilderment in their faces.
I was holding Nathan to me and turned to walk away so that I could get a better look at him when Spencer starts yelling, "there's a pider on his back !"
I can't explain the feeling...but it was as if my fingers and hands got all tingly and numb and it was ALL I could do to hang on to Nathan...when I wanted nothing more than to drop him and start shaking my hands to get away from whatever man eating spider was on his back.
I heard Syd's little friend say, "that's not a spider" at the same time Syd said.."it's a bee" at the same time that J grabbed it by it's body and shook her hands a couple of times before throwing the stowaway on to the floor and stomping on it not only bringing an end to it's life but also an end to the excitement that had just taken place.
Nathan was still screaming his head off, but it was more of the I got hurt cry and not the, what we now know to be the, a wasp is stinging me over and over, please help me cry.
I believe it was on his shirt (?) and then fell down in the top ruffle part of the diaper and when the thing couldn't get out started stinging.
I counted 4 little pricks. I was able to get Nathan to settle down after about 5 minutes and gave him some benadryl just in case. He was fine and moved on after.
I'll be interested to see if he's as fearless around them now. He has been stung before this year. His finger. He tried to pick one up :) kind a like the song.
I'm pickin up a baby bumblebee...won't my mommy be so proud of me. Unfortunately..that was a bee and I had to pull the stinger out of his finger which meant that bee probably didn't contribute the the hives bee supply that day. :(

Syd was a little off yesterday....last night as I put her to bed she had a fever. After telling her that I'd make her pancakes for breakfast she told me that the idea of syrup made her want to throw up.
She fell asleep and after about 8 minutes she started crying....she threw up EVERYWHERE.
She blamed me. She said that if I hadn't bought up the pancakes she never would have thrown up.

I suppose that I had already called and made an appointment for the carpets to be cleaned was just a coincidence. Or maybe it's because there's still a smell of moldy watery carpet downstairs where the babies flooded it.
mmm. I guess we'll never know.

I have to go and move everything off of the carpets now. He's coming at 9am. If he's going to clean up the water mess....I might as well have him clean up the dogs puke stains that never really came out, the chocolate cupcakes that didn't quite come out of the boys floor, the was soggy and is now concrete captain crunch that's been embedded into the fibers of my office floor, the cereal bar that was smooshed into my bedroom floor and of course lets not forget...although cleaned up....it still happened....the many baby poop incidents on pretty much all of my floors.

We do in fact have a steam cleaner. We bought it because OMG are you kidding me with all of the times we'll need it.
But it's hard to get out and then there's always the wet carpet that everyone wants to run on and wait...I'll do the capin' crunch and the cereal bar and the puke stains at the bottom of the stairs while I've got it out but then something comes up and what was once only going to take you like 14 minutes is now going to take you a MINIMUM of 3 hours because surely while your cleaning you'll have to stop a million times to get the babies off of the counters and out of the dishwasher and out of the dogs water and off of the counters and CAN SOMEONE PLEASE WATCH THE BABIES and then you'll have to comfort the babies because who would ever ask a couple of self centered, judgment challenged 4 year olds to watch babies ?
yeah. so I put it off..because...I'll do it tonight when J's home and I have more time. (insert smile)
Once ALL of the rooms need it...and you have the moldy smell....it's time to call a professional.

This Moment

I found this on Finding Chaos's blog who found it at SouleMama. I don't know if I'll do it every Friday but I do like the idea. so here goes.
{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

The singleton

I was asked by an offering of love : how does sydney do being the only singleton? is she ever jealous that she doesn't have a twin also? does she feel left out?

Great question and one that I felt was an important one for Syd to answer herself.
In the form of a questionnaire.

Q- Do you like being the only girl ?
A- kind of
Q- Why ?
A- Cause I'm not the only girl. You're a girl, mommy J is a girl, Sadie's a girl (the dog)

Q- Do you like being the only kid girl in our family ?
A- Yeah

Q- Do you think having 2 sets of twins is a good or a bad thing to have in a family ?
A- Bad
Q- Why ?
A- Because they bother you a lot.
Q- How do they bother you a lot ?
A- They come to me a lot, "Sydney will you help me...nah, nah, nah" (spoken a little sassy, using her hand as a puppet for the nah nah nah part)

Q- Do you wish you had a twin ?
A- Yes, Hailey. (one of her best friends)

Q- Do you wish you were born with another baby ?
A- Yes
Q- Why ?
A- Because we can be the same age, share a birthday, play together.
Q- So you'd like to have a twin so that you can share all of your stuff, like your birthday, room, toys and clothes and have someone to play with ?
A- uh huh.

Q- What's the best part of having 2 sets of twins in your family ?
A- They play with me a lot...cause there's a lot of kids in this house. And they'll play with other kids too. They'll go to Max's house and give me some time alone. and stop bothering me - like..blah blah blah. (no hand puppet this time but her face got all squinchy and she shook her head from side to side with each blah)

Q- What's the best part about being the only single girl baby born in our family ?
A- That you can have your own room. You get glass stuff when you're the big sister and stuff that breaks and no big brothers who can boss you around.

S- mom, stop asking me questions about my family. ask me something about myself.
M- like what Syd ?
S- liiiiiiike...what's my favorite color. what do I like to eat ?
(I did continue asking her a bunch of her favorite things....mostly stuff I knew but I think I'll randomly post Q & A stuff like this....I really like the idea of keeping track of what's going on in their little minds...I ask them all of the time...I just don't write it down)

Syd then wanted to ask me some questions. Tit for tat...and plus, documenting her questions will help me remember her sweet mind and how it worked.

Q- What's your favorite story to read with me ?
A- Junie B Jones
S- I KNEW IT !!! I Knew you were going to pick Junie B. Jones.

Q-What is your favorite planet ?
A- Pluto, because they don't think it should be a planet any more and that makes me sad. Saturn was always my favorite before.
Q- oh no...why don't they want it to be a planet anymore ?
A- because it's too small.
S- that is sad.

Q- What's your favorite color ?
A- What's my favorite color silly ? you already know the answer to that ?
S- purple !
M- My favorite color is purple ? no, it's blue.
S- Did you just write purple ?

Q- What's your favorite place to go. Like is it, Lagoon, Disneyland, the lake ? It can be anywhere.
A- Switzerland
S- switzer land ? where's that ?

Q- What's your favorite part of Halloween ? You can pick 2 if you want. Carving pumpkins ? no, trick or treating ? What's your favorite part ?
A- I do like trick or treating and I really like picking the pumpkins to carve.

Thus ending our interview.
I can't wait to ask her those same questions when she's older and has a better grasp on the twin thing.

In my own opinion and from what I see every day. Sydney is the only girl with 4 brothers. She's the princess, not the dressed up in chiffon kind of princess...more like the next in line to the queen of everything kind.
She has her own room. She has her own things. She has a place to go to get away from everyone. She has had the most opportunity....being the first helps too.
She took a ballet class when she was 3, played T-ball when she was 4, has taken swimming lessons since she was 2, gymnastics and piano, gets to go to the store and usually by herself, gets to have sleep overs at grandma's and play dates at friends houses.
For example. When J and I go out of town...we have someone come to the house that stays with the 4 boys. Syd gets to go to Grandma and Papa's house by herself and have one on one time which includes, movies at the theater, white spaghetti and glitter stamp kits.
She's had the most opportunities because it's easier to just take her. J took her to Seattle to visit her sister over a weekend a while back. She took Syd for no other reason than because she felt like she could and wanted Syd to have some one on one time with her.
(I actually feel sorry for the boys...they very seldom get time away by themselves other than trips to the store etc)
I expect a lot from that little girl. I'm the hardest on her. I think that has to do with her being the oldest...but also because my hands are so full with all of these damn twins. She takes it all in stride and is pretty darn amazing.
Overall I think she's got it pretty good. and I for one am SOOOO-OH-OH Happy that she's a singleton....because oh holy mother of margarita...I wouldn't be here to type these answers for you if I had 3 sets of twins. I'd be praying to the mother of margarita. :)

This little person put a spell on me years ago. She'll forever and always be my one and only baby girl.

Thanks again for asking !

Book worms and other creepy crawly things

It was library day. Meaning that Syd and I went to the library and picked out a slew of books and brought them home for the boys to enjoy. Well, I got books for the boys...Syd gets books for herself. I rotate and will take the boys individually sometimes but Syd has her own library card and when she picks her own books and checks out by herself, it's easier to get her to read them....so she tends to go more often than not.

Cameron has to be my biggest book worm. I will find him looking through books all of the time. He will make up words and stories as he flips through the pages. Sometimes he'll incorporate a toy that he might be holding. He's so much fun to watch, I really need to get it on film so that I can always remember it.

Both boys have such a love for books. I hope they keep that love their whole lives.



I just went from a filthy house to a spoooky and cool house. All of those cobwebs that have been hanging around are now part of the ambiance. See how that works. It took me a long time of not cleaning up those cobwebs in the house to create such a work of art :)
I love decorating for the holidays. I replace towels in the bathrooms and try to add little things here and there. It's been nearly impossible with all these little hands these last few years....so it's nothing like I'd like...but one day. ONE DAY I'm going to be able to put breakable figurines on end tables. and things that dangle and hang down. snow globes and fragile leaves. one day.
In the meantime...this is high enough that the babies haven't messed with it.
and the boys only locked me out of the house and took the glowing candle sticks downstairs once. I'm pretty sure they won't do it again.
My mantle.
just a little something for the kids. well and from the kids really. got them all out of the toy box.

A little Halloween treasure that I just love.

**sigh** Conference weekend in Utah ! WOO HOO

An excerpt from the news today about General Conference :
Though he did not specifically mention political issues such as same-sex marriage, President Packer spoke about marriage and the power of procreation, saying there are moral and physical laws that cannot be changed despite current political trends.

"To be entrusted with the power to create life carries with it the greatest joys and most dangerous temptations," President Packer said. "Whether we use this power as the eternal laws require or reject its divine purpose will forever affect who we will become."

He said God designed that power only be used in a legal and lawful marriage between a man and a woman. "Some suppose that they were pre- set and cannot overcome what they feel are inborn tendencies toward the impure and unnatural," President Packer said. "Not so. Why would our Heavenly Father do that to anyone? Remember He is our Father."

"There are those today who not only tolerate but advocate voting to change laws that would legalize immorality, as if a vote would somehow alter the designs of God's laws and nature," he said. "To legalize that which is basically wrong or evil will not prevent the pain and penalties that will follow as surely as night follows day," saying there are moral and physical laws that cannot be changed.

These are the words that were spoken...broadcast through out the world to Mormons and I suppose those who wanted to listen.
I of course was not one who listened....I personally can't stand the way they talk....even if the leaders and speakers of the church were talking about the latest football games I couldn't listen.
I swear they teach them how to monotone their voices and painstakingly add inflection at the same places in every single talk. I suppose they would say they are being reverent. I don't want them to scream it or rap it out...but seriously....to me it is nails on a chalk board to listen to....no matter the context.

But of course. the context is what I'm concerned with. Not so much surprised with...but concerned that the people closest to me were listening and always follow.
My family is Mormon. There might be a couple who have strayed....but over all....every single one of them are members of the LDS church. Same thing in J's family. Only there aren't any strays. WAIT ! yes there are....she has a niece and 2 nephews who have fallen from the flock.

It also confuses me...because not but a year ago I remember some of the church's leaders saying that they "believe" that we are born gay....but it is wrong to follow those "urges".
In the speech above it says that....we are not born gay. Why would God "make" us gay. He is our Father.

Do you hear how many things are absolutely wrong in that comment ?
It actually makes me sick to hear it. And I've heard it over and over and over my whole fucking life.
This is not a CHOICE people. This is who I am. And maybe if they were the ones who didn't have the choice.....they would understand.
In the meantime I suppose all that we can do is keep explaining it and hope that at some point their hearts soften to the truth and not to something that they just don't know and understand.

My family watched this conference. They soak it in. They go and feel it and grow from it. They listen and believe all that is spoken because it IS the word of God. (thunder, lightening)
What they keep telling to my mom, my dad, my Aunt, Cousins and Grandma....is that I'm faking this whole "gay" thing....and that what I am participating in is pure evil.
Okey dokey. Thanks for um, clearing that up. We have just started going to and feeling some acceptance to the family gatherings. It's only been 13 friggin' years and 5 kids later that my mom will call J, Mommy J instead of J. I suppose this is going to set us back about 9 years since we shouldn't have tried to mess with nature. FRIGGITY FRACK FROGGIT.
And what if it doesn't. What if all of this talk just messes with the heads of those that love someone who is gay. What if all that this does is causes more stress and inner conflict with my mom.
What if all that this does is makes me cringe and put up walls every time I'm making friendly conversation with someone I just met and then suddenly realize they are wearing garments* and have now been told and know that this is all just me being weak to my nasty temptatious ways.

I hate this. I hate that this makes me put up so many damn walls. My cousin who sends me religious based and sappy emails that I want to send back and say....girl, you know that these people are on a witch freaking hunt and I'm the one that's gonna burn. Why the hell are you sending this crap to me ? The one that I felt some connection to, for the first time in YEARS at our last get together. I didn't feel the distance and repulsion...which may or may not be coming from my own insecurities....but feelings that were there none the less. NOW. The next time I see her I will wonder if she wasn't as friendly or talkative because she had a bad day or if it was because my evil morality makes her uneasy.

I don't have the strength or the space to talk about the : there are moral and physical laws that cannot be changed despite current political trends.
Meaning that the whole children and marriage is something that must be saved for those who are a man and a woman.
(screaming internally. ragging. now screaming self righteous bastards. deep breath. clear throat)
ok. I'm done. It is so hard not to let this stuff.....and we all know that there is a TON of it right now, especially with marriage and the government...effect me and who I am.
I don't want to be bitter and hardened. I don't want to be angry and defensive.

EVERY time these talks come up, it always make me question my families loyalty all over again. Is it strictly with the church, which is what you are taught to hold steadfast to ?
And if they are devout, which they are,....and if they are true members, which they are,....then the answer would be yes and that leaves me feeling abandoned, hurt and sad. again.
Great family values.

I'm so sick of being made to feel evil and dirty. Feelings that are putting people's lives at risk. We all know what happened to the rutgers kid. Seriously....like having people know that you had same sex attractions or contact with someone of the same sex is so bad that you have to take your own life.
Where do these feelings of self hate and feeling, "unnatural, imoral and evil" come from. hmm ?
There's a lot of responsibility behind words. And I guess there are those who feel that a dead kid is better than a gay one....but I for one can't imagine that God would feel the same. I mean...remember, he is our Father.

My kids were all asleep at 7 pm tonight. SEVEN. Instead of letting this all eat at my empty stomach....I ate a double cookie sundae. :)
It really did help sooth the sting.
I am going to blog about being fat and happy soon...and how I believe that there is definite truth to it. :) but for now I'm going to play free cell until my eyes won't stay open....because sleeping right now is not an option.

*garments are a type of covering worn under the clothes. It's suppose to help with modesty, and remembering the promises they made to god. To always kneel and profess Jesus to be the one and only Christ and to keep your marriage sacred. or something like that. It's Mormon underwear.

A letter to a friend.

**updated with a picture**
Dear Friend,
There are so many times that you have just shown up out of the blue, out of no where, like you just knew, after I called you and left you no choice but to come over. You took my calls and listened to my cries for help or support or chocolate. You may have been rolling your eyes but I never heard it over the phone and it always meant so much to me.
I have so much thanks to give.
Thank you for walking with me on those days I didn't think that I could get my ass off of the ground, let alone into my pants.
Thank you for teaching me how elementary school and tracks and teachers and class projects work. I was new and seriously...I don't feel like they explain it all that well.
Thank you for the garden fresh veggies and bread and even special, I don't make these for just anybody, cookies.
Thank you for helping me paint while J was out of town. For your feedback. For your ideas.
Thank you for inviting me and my gang out....even though my gang can seem overwhelming and nobody wants to have to help, but standing there and not helping would make you all schmuck so you help any ways. and then invite us again.
But most of all...and the reason I felt the need to write this....THANK YOU for coming to my house after I called you in a hazy tunnel to help me clean up the **natural disaster that had happened all over my house. Namely Thing 1 and Thing 2. or I suppose they would be Thing 4 and Thing 5. I think I may have referred to them as little bastards....the devils.....evil children or little shits.
Thank you for taking towels to the tops of my cupboards and fridge without even judging me for the filth that must have come off. (I mean, come the hell on, who cleans the top of their fridge regularly)
You didn't gag or flinch or leave. You just kept on without being asked.
Thank you for pulling the box tops off of the cereal boxes that were soaking wet and ruined and had to be thrown away. and for taking the boxes of saran wrap, tinfoil and lunch baggies and placing them in the sun where they could dry. (the unopened tinfoil is still soaking wet)
Thank you for listening. For not acting offended when I said the F word. twice. or maybe it was 3 times.
Thank you for Knowing, I mean, REALLY KNOWING what I'm talking about when I say...."they are terrors. trouble makers. spawns of satan" because you have now witnessed the hell I speak of. although it wasn't all fire and brimstone more of a cold and dripping from my ceilings upstairs as well as down kind of hell. but hell none the less. oh and thank you for strategically placing the buckets downstairs as to catch the water dripping from what looked to me like breasts bubbling from the ceiling above.
You are such a good friend. You are always there right when I feel like I might just lose it for real this time.

When I'm dying. from most likely a stroke or high blood pressure.....I hope that you'll sit on a beach with me and promise to tell my children that you have a long memory of all of the things you've witnessed all while our kids ride horses and build sand castles......Because, you are, the wind beneath my wings.
:)
Much gratitude from your neighbor and biggest fan,
Me !

**Natural Disaster : While I was mowing the front lawn, to my knowledge the babies were locked in the backyard. The big boys let them into the house and also took the lock (cut it off with scissors) off of their bedroom door...giving the babies access to the office chairs, chairs that I locked up for good reasons.
They then climbed up onto the island in the kitchen and for 30 minutes shot water (and yes....it shot almost from one end of the house to the other) all over my kitchen, floors, cupboards, lights, appliances, ceiling. Over the kitchen wall. on my desk, computer, recliner, piano. There were 2 inches of water in some of the drawers. Water had made it's way down my hall, into the boys room, down the stairs and of course leaked into the basement ruining the ceiling in the playroom.
note : and yes, they are still alive. and still climbing onto my counters.




Friend, remember the cupcakes I tried to bring over to you last night. Just a small token of thanks.
I guess leaving them on your door step would have been a better option
(I was putting the laundry away in my bedroom....it took them all of about 3 minutes)

This was all over the kitchen, family room and boys room. Sadie did help with the big chunks of course.