Friday, July 29, 2011

The end of LBD, yeah you know me !

What a month.   yes I know I'm a couple of days early.   but I'm no good on the weekends.
It has been a real pleasure getting to know some of you in a more intimate setting.  :)
And of course by that I am referring to your comments and emails.
Thank you so much for sharing your journey with me.   I am hoping that this has started some positive dialog in regards to opening pandora's box.  ha ha ha.   OMG I am on one.   

Ok for real.   I hope like me, you will tear that duct tape with the words "DO NOT ENTER" written in black sharpie off your hoochies and promise to never close shop again.
This is me after 1 beer.  3 hrs ago.  just so you know.
I'm a super cheap date and apparently an abnoxious and inappropriate drinker.

I would like to share a quick story with you.  
I have to start by telling you.   I am not promoting this product for any kind of revenue purposes.   I am only sharing my experience in hopes that it too can help you in yours. 

My wife bought a life strength ion bracelet.   It's suppose to give you balance.  both emotionally and physically.
Never heard of them until my wife walks in from work and says, "Come here....I need to try something on you."    She tells me that she has a series of tests to do to me and to trust her. (I'm glad she told me to trust her....it obviously lets you know that she normally does stuff to me that shouldn't and wouldn't be trustable:) 
She tells me to stand on one foot and hold my arms out to the sides for balance.   She then pushes on my 1 arm on the side with the leg up and I am to hold steady as long as I can.
I immediately fell over.
She then hands me this bracelet (the bracelet she gave herself for her birthday :) and said to hold it in my hand and repeat the exercise.    I did and she almost couldn't push me over.
I told her it was bullshit and to try again now that I have my wits about me.   We repeated with almost the same results.    I was ready this time and was able to hold my balance longer without the bracelet but there was a definite difference in the length of time with and without the bracelet.
She did another test and there were also significant discrepencies.
The bracelet is also supposed to help her with her mood balance and even sleep.   
The thing cost 30.00........it had better help the friggin kids sleep at that price.   plastic ass jelly bracelet.  

I decided to just let the wife think she was centered and sleepy.    Whatever she wanted to believe.

>>>Later that Night<<<  I had forgotten about the bracelet.
We weren't sleeping.   and.   then we didn't sleep some. more.    and damn.
It always seems like we get better each time.  but I gotta say.   it was all sorts of good this time.
After telling her, "wow" and "what the hell" and I think some, "shits" and "damns"
My wife gets up and says to me all cocky with this twisted smile,bouncing her eyebrows, "it's the bracelet"

We both laughed super hard and then I said, "do you think it really was the bracelet ?"
'cause,  what if it really was ?
what if the damn thing works and maybe in some way transfers to the person the one with the bracelet is touching.    CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE !
I had to share this with my friends.
I'm not sayin it was the bracelet.  and I'm not sayin it wasn't.  
I'm just sayin that if it is.   I'm buying 3 more.

OH and apparently you can put it anywhere on your body to recieve the full effects.  
So for my straight readers.   I'll let your imaginations run with it. 
You know.  if you wanna give it a try.

That's all folks !   Good night !

11 comments:

M Family said...

You are too awesome, I might have to buy one of those bracelets! :D

Jen said...

Hmmm....very interesting. You should leave this post as a testimonial on the bracelet's website. I'm sure they'd start paying you a percentage of their profits!

Stacy said...

They're buy 3 get one free! I'm emptying my IRA! :)
It gets soooo much better right?
This last time I was like, "When did you get so fancy?!" lol
So happy for your "special time" of awesomeness!
And I totally love your drunken-ness. We'd get along swimmingly.

ajs4ever said...

It is so funny that you said that! After our "fun times" in bed, though few and far between, we say, "Oh God that was amazing!" and "We still have it baby!"
It just takes commitment to each other and putting forth effort into your relationship. Love these posts!!

Wiley said...

I vote you always write your posts after a beer!

Loves this one.

KJlovesBubba said...

. . . and where can you (I) get this bracelet?

Stacey said...

LOL love this post. Glad you've been doing well... :)

Janet's page said...

HA HA HA HAHA HA!! and yuppers I went right there!!

Kelli Murphy said...

You make me laugh hard! I havn't been checking out your blogs for quiet some time, butOMG you make me laugh. Does a body good. I will checking it daily now again. Love to you all my friends!
Kelli Murphy

Sonya said...

Hilarious... Awesome! LOL

Linda said...

I just ordered a bracelet. (yup, I did)