Follow ups and cute cabooses !

I was asked about our families.  
I have chosen not to talk much about my family on this blog.   They don't know about it and it feels a bit like talking behind their backs :)   Plus...I have other outlets to express any frustrations that might come up.  
They will occassionally come up here and there because they are an important part of our family.   If I was smart and moved to wordpress I could do the password protect posts.  but alas...I'm just figuring out how to add video to blogger.   I would lose it if I moved now.
Just a little background.
We are very close with both my parents and J's mom (her dad died several years ago)   
We also live close....we are 20 minutes from my parents and 25 minutes from J's mom and sister.
I talk to my mom at least once a day.   It may seem weird to someone who doesn't...but sometimes it's as simple as her checking in to see how well the babies are doing with potty training or how well I did getting everyone to sleep the night before by myself or even twice a day....once to check in and once to check on how the bread turned out.   She's my mom and has all of the answers....I call her all of the time when I don't know.
Our families are Mormon but they love us.   We try to just agree to disagree in a few areas in our lives.
It would be easy to spout off about how hard it is that they don't accept "us" and how there are so many little things that keep us separate and divided.  but it's just as hard, if not harder for them.   I can't imagine how much this has hurt them and how much it has shaken their faith.    So, I just try to be patient and respectful and soak up the love that we and the kids are given.   I love my mom and consider her to be one of my best friends.   My dad....he's quiet and a little rough around the edges.   But I do love him and he is SOOO awesome with my kids.   The best papa ever.
I hope that Syd and I have as close a relationship when she's older.      I also hope Syd is as loving and understanding and 1/2 the kind of daughter that I am.  :)    ha ha ha
J is close with her mom.    They don't talk every day like me and my mom....they don't have that same kind of relationship....but it's definitely a loving one.   Her mom is 84 years old and shows more acceptance and consideration sometimes than most.   She's a great lady and I'm lucky to have her in my family.

Syd is having a night terror as I type this.     They went away for a LONG time.   Another post another day.

Potty Training update :

Nathan puts his own underwear on. (he likes to see the majority of the characters on his...can't really see that from the back now can ya ?   And other than Woody and Buzz, Ryan calls all other character underwear Elmo :) No wait, he picked them out, so he calls them...MY Elmo !

Nathan.   The boy is baaasically potty trained.   He pooped in the potty 3 times today, and only requested me to follow him in to watch once.   He yells for me to wipe him and watch him flush.   Well that is unless Ryan hasn't already flushed it all down....which pisses Nathan off to no end.  someone usually gets hit and then there is crying.   Flushing is a big deal at our house. 
I took him out of the house 3 days in a row last week with underwear on and he didn't have any accidents.    I was gone for several hours each time too.    He even went poop at Barnes and Noble.   He peed in almost every store we went to. (ugh)  there were 8 stores if you wanted to know. 2 the first day, 3 the second and 3 the 3rd.  He was super great about it.   Not afraid of the big flush like the other 3 were.
He did pee in his pants today once.   I'm not sure why...and I expect this is normal and he'll still move forward.  Mostly he's had to be naked to be fully potty trained so this is great progress.  I'm so proud of him.



Yip ! Cute caboose !

 Ryan.   As long as I remind him and remind him to go to the bathroom every so often...he's potty trained.   He is totally potty trained (- pooping) if he's naked.   Put underwear on him and it's a 50/50.   Today he peed, washed his hands and then 2 minutes later peed on the kitchen chair.     He was in underwear.
If he would have been naked, he'd have run in and peed on the potty.
I have NEVER been a fan of the pull ups.   but for this kid, I think we'll be doing pull ups.   He can pull them down and go if he wants to, but I don't have to hover over him and worry about him having an accident AND it's "buzz woody mama".  
Again with the....it'll happen when he's ready so why stress about it now.
Any ways.....if we are home, he usually doesn't have anything on below the waist.   But going out he's doing the pull up thing.
Neither one is wearing underwear at night.    I won't even PUSH that issue for a while.... atleast until they start showing me signs that they are ready.   (we have them in nighttime diapers they pee so much.   they pee out in those damn things all of the time too) 

Sooooo, we made honey wheat bread today (and I showered, didn't scream, it was better than the last 3 days and I doubt I'll go to bed before 11pm ).  
I used yeast that had expired.   I had it in my freezer (mostly forgotten about) and figured, hey what the hell.   When I talked to my mom today (see) I asked her if we would die if we ate it.   She said that she would be surprised if it would even rise but it wouldn't hurt us.     
She was right.  After it barely puffed up....I kneaded it and put it in bread pans to see if it would again "puff up" and then had the most wonderful idea to make scones out of it for dinner.
OMG MARSHA THEY WERE SO GOOD !

Grocery list :
milk
eggs
cinnamon
wheat thins
lunch meat
egg noodles
yeast
more honey butter

Wow.  I planned on making this a quicky and here I am out of breath.  
and I'll bet 3/4 of you are asleep.  :) 
sorry.
short and sweet next time.  I promise.

Today is full of hope

Today I've run to the bathroom with both babies several times to go potty in the potty.

Today I plan on baking bread.

Today I hope is better than the last 3 days.

Today I'm a single mom.

Today I will shower. 

Today I will not scream at my children.

Today I will go to bed before 11 pm.

Today I will survive.


Right at the beginning Spencer says, "Push hard and be brave."

Backstage Access !

WHY.  do little people.   without diapers on.   have to stick their fingers in their buttholes ?
Seriously.   It grosses me out.   I can't really do anything about it either...because they are naked and potty training.   There should be no backstage access.   Their arms should have come shorter.  GROSS !

Ryan pooped on the potty yesterday.   Well, he started to poop on my bathroom floor and I swept him up and held him whimpering on the potty while he finished.    Or so I thought.  

(later at the KJ and the Kids household)
Nathan comes running in to me with shit all over his leg.    The front of his leg.    It covered the lower shin to just above his knee.   This was not his shit.
He was upset and wanted no part of it.
I found what looked like a smooshed poop on the floor in the playroom and walked Nathan upstairs to put him in the tub.  FOR THE 2ND TIME.   As I was washing him I realized that he had shit all over his foot too.   WHICH MEANS, that he was tracking shit all over my house while getting to the bathroom.   UUUUUUUUUHHHHHH.
After I cleaned him off I went to find Ryan.    He was brandishing a plastic screw driver.
You guessed it.  Full of shit.

You see, what had happened was.
Ryan pooped on the floor.   Nathan stepped in it, lost his balance probably trying to see what he stepped in and then fell in it.
Ryan, after getting just the right tool for the job, came over and stuck his screw driver in the poop.   Carried it over to the playhouse and began painting with it.    After the large chunk of poop fell off of the screw driver to the floor he walked over to the train table (with a castle instead of a train on it) to what I'm guessing get the rest of the poop off of the screw driver.   He had wiped it all down the table, stuck it in the hole in the top of the table which leads to a drawer full of blocks and also stuck it in several areas of the castle.
Guess what didn't happen ?   It didn't get the screw driver all the way clean.   But it sure as shit got everything else plastered with poop.
Sadie ate the big chunk of poop in front of the playhouse.  I steam cleaned and wiped everything else down.

I told my mom this story right after cleaning it all up.    She asked me if I killed him.   Again.   I'm pretty sure I don't get it from my dad. :)

he's alive.   After that he put lotion all over his legs (caught him in the act) spilled his brothers milk all over the table, left a popsicle on his bed in my room where it melted for a few minutes before his older brother found it and finished it off and then he got the soap from the bathroom and covered his hair with it.  (we keep it locked under the sink, but his older brother went to the bathroom and washed his hands with it and left it out.
Ryan had 3 baths yesterday.  

sooooo, we had a bad day...I'm taking one down....I sang a sad song just to turn it around....I say I don't know...I tell you it's not a lie....I work at a smile then I go for a ride....we had a bad day.
(slightly different...but you know the song)

My meds are working. :)

Ryan NOT taking a nap.    This picture titled.  Book and Boots.

Life Savers

I want to thank you for all of your support.     It's not easy being crazy and by the sounds of it....we're all crazy. :)    I'm still blaming a lot of it on the way we treat the chickens that we later eat.   

My kids are still sick.   We haven't been well since before Christmas and it's all wearing the hell out of me.
Sydney is home from school for her 2nd day today.   I was certain that even without a voice she should still go.   She started to cry when I asked her to get ready and when I brushed the hair off of her forehead  I then realized she was fevered.   
Yesterday I called to tell the super nice neighbor lady who has been picking Syd up for school and driving her that 1/2 block to help get her there on time.  She offered back when Syd hated school and was late everyday.   She and her girls would walk and on her way home passed Sydney clunking along, late. 
It's also saved Syd walking in these freezing temperatures. 
Around 9am yesterday morning my doorbell rang.   It was the super nice lady.....she had a ziplock baggie and told me that, "when my girls are home sick they like to just sit around and play with playdough and relax"  The bag consisted of 5 little playdoughs, the book, When you give a Pig a Party, a yoplait smoothie packet (just add milk) and bubbles.    She said that having even one extra kid stay home throws the whole dynamics off and that she hoped this would help.  (TOTALLY gets it)
That small gesture made my WHOLE DAY.   What an amazing thing for someone to do.   Something so incredibly thoughtful at a time in my life when washing down my old prescription with alcohol seemed like the only answer.    :)  
I want to be that person.    I want to help make people feel better when they are feeling terrible. 
It's now on my New Years resolution list.   I'm still working on the shower part of that resolution.    I have to admit that there are people on facebook who change their profile pictures more often than I change my underwear.  but I'm working on it.

In other news.
The babies continue to have no accidents while naked.   getting them to wear underwear and clothes seems to be a whole other challenge.   
Nathan will be wearing a diaper and go take it off to go pee in the potty....but when in underwear or pants...he pee's almost immediately.    He did one time run in and potty in underwear after leaving a silver dollar mark.   Not bad.
Ryan hasn't pooped in the potty other than a little hershey squirt.   I'm not pushing it.    He has even gotten out of the tub to pee.  
They are doing SO GREAT !  
They still occassionally ask for a life savers after going.  For the most part they are just proud to do it.

Oh and my doctor called in my RX this morning.  
I needed a life saver and I was thrown a bunch.
so awesome.

Thursday-Wednesday Blues

I think it's hilarious that my Friday post wasn't noticed until 4:21 pm by anonymous on Thursday that it was posted on the wrong day.
Funny thing is...it wasn't until 4:09 pm Thursday that I noticed it wasn't "This moment Friday" either.   I just left it up...because that was a damn cute picture, right ?

Ok so remember my post about my doctors appointment ?  I told her I had PMDD.  She talked to me about my already maxed out dosage of zo.loft and wanted to change it, she told me that it wasn't working at all anymore and that I needed something else.   She suggested a brand.  A brand of meds that up until now only really crazy people take. ;-)  or so I had it in my head that that was the case.   "Look lady.  I'm not REALLY crazy...I just use this medication to take the edge off.   To help me get through my days.  To help me not kill my children."
I also told her that I wanted to take it for the next 3-5 years and then I'd be good.
She told me that was a really long time...and I agreed with her...I did...and then I told her that I really needed it for the next 3-5 years and then I'd be good. :)

I left her office without a prescription for any new medications.    I'd think about it.

4 days ago I slapped Sydney across the face.   Not once but twice.
If I told you the sassy shit she said to me..you'd pat me on the back for doing it, but the fact is...I promised that little girl when I held her tiny little new born body in my arms that I would NOT EVER spank her (slapping, kicking, whipping, anything that is considered physical violence included) 

I immediately went to my computer and sent an email to my doctor (she TOTALLY has an email system set up...isn't that great) and told her that I needed that new prescription NOW !
She hasn't called it in yet.   I checked late friday and even called the pharmacy on Saturday.  No go. 

I guess my yam cream isn't holding up it's end of the deal.  
I am sick of feeling that I want to divorce my wife and run away from my kids every month.    I actually plan in my head how I can just get in the car and go for a "vacation"  drive...for a week.  
I scream things that I would NEVER scream at my kids like "SHUT UP!"    I tell them to "go away from me" "leave me alone" I say things to J when they are in ear shot like, "I can't stand them" "they are driving me crazy"
These things might just roll off some of your backs...but they don't roll off of mine and they CERTAINLY don't roll off of those precious little babies of mine.    I feel the sting of those wounds days and even weeks later.   
I'm not proud of who I am and I am scared to death of who I could be.   Hopefully on Monday she'll have that new prescription called in.   Hopefully this one will last a couple of years :)

Quick story.   I have talked to my mom about some of the things that I say and feel.   I talked to her about it when I was struggling with post partum also.   She kept telling me that it was all very normal.  That every mother feels this way.
Thing is, not every mother feels this way...and not every mother reacts this way.
My mom did.   I remember my mom telling me that she was going to run away from home.   That she was leaving.    A couple of times when I was walking home from school I would remember her saying that she was leaving and a plane would fly over my head at that same moment and I would start bawling because I knew that she was on that plane.  My heart would race and I would open the door to the house and listen for her.   Once she was at the neighbors and I laid on my bed wishing I hadn't done whatever it was that I had done that made her want to leave us.
I was Syd's age.  
I wish that my mom would have had the support she needed.   I also wish she would have known that it wasn't normal and would have taken a little blue/pink - pick a color - pill.   I also wish she would stop saying that I get it from my dad :) ha ha

We are not perfect.   And God knows that it's not easy. but I just want that extra padding to help buffer out some of the shit that's in my head.    Some of the hate and mean that I feel the week before my period.
My wife and kids deserve it.  
and so do I.

This Moment Friday

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember

Take 2 !

And this time I don't mean...2 of my children :)

Both babies came down with croup. It may have been our visit to the children's museum....or it may have been the candy that Nathan picked up off of the laundry mat floor when we were there washing our rugs. Either way...monday night he could barely breath. He was practically hoarse the next morning due to the inflamation. He got a shot and a rx of steroids and although he still sounds terrible seems to be in better spirits.
Ryan joined him in the barking cough and weezing last night. :(
SO yesterday they wore diapers. Nathan because he felt like crap and Ryan because I think he may have started feeling crappy but has to follow his brother...which is why Ryan got a binky all day yesterday as well.
Today they are naked and have both gone potty with no accidents. (and do not have binky's in their mouths...we have those for bedtime and sick time only)

They both still "play" in the bathroom...which I don't love. Mostly they like to wash their hands. I'm hoping that the wet hands that have touched me have come from the water in the sink and not the toilet. (ugh)

I would appreciate it if my kids could stop getting sick. I also feel like a broken record.
I also wish that the thought that kids build immunity to sickness by being sick held true. These guys should be immune to malaria and the bubonic plague for hell sakes.
Just sayin.

I want to thank Kerry for her beautiful header that she created and sent to me. Thank you.
I've yet to come up with my own. A great friend of mine made my last 2 and now Kerry has created this one. Thanks for keeping my blog looking personal and great. One day I'll figure out how to do it myself. I promise. :)

2 down - none to go ?

***updated***AGAIN !!!!***
The babies have been removing their diapers for some time now.    I will pick them up sometimes and feel the non bulky cute little baby toosh in my hands.   They take their diapers off and put their pants back on :)
Sometimes I find out that they've done this too late...and they come to me with a tip toe straddle walk with wet pants.   
They sit on the toilet all of the time.  THEY LOVE THE TOILET.  mostly they love flushing it.  over and over AND OVER again.  (ugh)
Today I took their diapers off.   Told them they could run naked (Ryan wanted a diaper (?)WTH ) and if they needed to go potty, to go in the bathroom.   
I left the bathroom door not only unlocked but wide open.

Nathan came calling to me from the hallway....."mama, hurry, hurry, come on, hurry"
He was doing a bit of a dance...pinching his penis.   I jumped up and followed him.  Ready to stand him at the potty, listen to him give me some excuse why he didn't go and then want to flush the toilet.   
He decided to sit this time.     And sure enough HE PEED !
1st time EVER.   (he has peed in the bathroom, on the floor, in the tub but never on the potty)
We did the happiest potty dance.   The whole family joined in (- mommy J who is at work today)
Ryan felt left out and said...."mon mama, mon, mon mama"  I followed him back to the bathroom....he sat down...HE PEED !!
Another potty dance.   We gave both babies a lifesaver...because that's what I had in my cupboard left over from the kids Christmas lifesaver books....and I started randomly calling relatives and friends to share the good news. 

Since then they've both run to the potty with the same urgency, and have sat grunting (Ryan making fart sounds with his mouth and laughing) and then announcing, "all done".  Luckily I've managed to stop them from flushing each time :)
Maybe it was a fluke.  but maybe.  just maybe.  it's the beginning of a whole new world for us.

***update***
Ryan has gone 3 times, Nathan has gone twice...once he went in and went on his own. No accidents.
***update II***
NATHAN JUST WENT POOP IN THE POTTY ! Didn't say a word...ran in, sat down and DID IT ! I am in utter shock and disbelief right now.

World 1 level 1 master champion !

We have the Wii.  Mostly we had Wii fit plus.
J was a big skate boarder & snow boarder......I had a blast conquering the Obstacle course.   Syd would play with us, she is currently the master at boxing (she can in fact kick anybody's ass...I don't care how good you are or how much you've practiced)  same thing with bowling.  It's a little weird...it must be her size or something...there has to be an explanation :)
We have tried to includ the boys and they will do the running and the boxing but get bored so easily with it and run off and play.  although Nathan requests "punch mama. punch" whenever we would play...which isn't very often....up until now. 
I got Donkey Kong Country Returns for Christmas.    SO STINKING ADDICTIVE.   I really struggle with it....I have stayed up until 1 am passing off worlds. 
Cameron would watch us when we did play and one day we let them have a turn.  Syd who's older and has the coordination to move and alternate 4-6 fingers at a time learned pretty easily.   Cam picked it up faster than we thought and has now cleared the first board.    Spencer has absolutely no desire to play.
We let Cam have a turn now because he asks and I suppose the whole idea behind getting the wii was to have family game night once in a while....but also...he's a CRACK UP to watch.    He is so expressive from his face to his toes.
I was able to capture it on video.    He was aware that the camera was there so his foot didn't leave the floor and kick waist high like it normally does (even if someone else is playing he physically plays along with you)
but he couldn't help stop his facial and a lot of the little jerks and movements that he makes in synch with Donkey :)
Enjoy !   Oh...the other 3 boys were extremely interested in the camera and also being on it....thus the shaking, walking in front of the camera and noise levels.  so soddy !

This is him standing.   Please excuse Spencer's finger tips...he wanted to see what they'd look like on video.



This is him sitting.   I love watching his tongue and his feet...even after the babies turn the lights out as their last attempt at getting all of my attention.   Not fazed at all.


J is holding out and wants to hide the camera....so that we can get his true ability to use the WHOLE space around him while playing !   
I love this kid.

Question # 25 How many days a week do you work out ?

I just had my first appointment with a family practitioner in...oh..15 years. I've gone to the gyno for my girlie parts.  A LOT. (infertility and babies do that) I've had to see a couple of specialists and I've had to go to insta care maybe 3 times...other wise I have just sucked it up and or consider myself to be quite healthy.
I felt like it was time to get a check up.  Make sure everything is still there and at least attempting to work.

I'm sitting in a gown on a chair in the room and she's going over some of the things I marked off on the medical history/information paperwork...#7. recent change in appetite (I have this insatiable need for sugar where there once was none) and #8 significant weight loss or gain (10lbs in 2 1/2 maybe 3 months....I chalk it up to the Holiday spirit) #11 Constipation. (ahem)  #16 Girly part issues (PMDD, just thought I'd see what she had to say about my yam cream and little blue pills) #17 menstruation. (what the hell is this brown sludge bleeding for a week, red bleeding for a week and brown spotting for several days crap) #36 skin cancer screening question. (what can I say...I'm guaca-moley and my mom had melanoma...best to be safe) and #52 breast check.  (it's always nice to be felt up I think, again...best to be safe)

She gets to #25.   I left it blank.  It confused me and by the look on her face my verbal response wasn't on her list of possible answers.
She looked at me like I was trying to get away with something.  Gave me a bit of the, you've got to be kidding me, look.  and then wrote something down in her notes.   I'm pretty sure it was in the psychological noteage area and mentioned my need for acknowledgement and genetically congenital liar. 
My answer :   I take care of 5 little kids all day every day.  
simple and sweet.  and hello-oh......I'm not kidding.
Doesn't she know that I would weigh like 120 lbs more with the way that I eat...with what I eat....if I didn't take care of these kids and this house.
I'm CONSTANTLY bending and lifting and pushing and pulling and wrestling and crawling under, crawling over, stretching up, down, running, running REALLY fast, using my lightening fast reflexes (again with the blind side example) Whether I'm pushing a kid out of the kitchen/bathroom or pushing the vacuum.....I'm working it.
What I wanted to know....was how the hell do I not have a finely tuned body like those olympic athletes ?
Oh right.  referring myself to the way that I eat and what I eat comment above :)

I honestly wanted to challenge her.   See if 12 hrs of doing what I do, didn't compare to her 30 minutes a day suggestion in a gym.
cha !

I mentioned a few of the things that I was concerned with.....I didn't take my panties off (always a good visit when you get to leave your drawers on)  I left with a referral for a dermatologist a sore friggin arm from my tetanus shot.  (holy shit those things pack a punch....and it's usually not for a day or 2 before you really notice how sore it is) adult conversation albeit medical, but still...and feeling bad about myself because I just sit on my lazy ass all day with my kids and I should be scootin it to the gym.  (sigh)    I do wish it were spring/summer/fall so that we could get out of this damn house and get a little more activity going on...but COME ON !
It's late.   I've got to go eat a graham cracker that someone took a bite out of and left on the counter.....I can't waste that...sheesh...and then I'm off to bed :)

Drama Queens ! Skits 1 and 2.

Last night Sydney bumped her knee on her brothers bed.    I don't doubt for a minute that it didn't hurt.
After tucking the boys into bed I walked into Syd's room to read and found her wrapping her knee with an ace bandage.
She is also the one that will fall and once up will limp as if her foot/leg/hip (pick an appendage) is broken.
God love her.

We went to the Tree House Museum.  It's this great local museum that is geared completely around imagination.   I love this place.   Any ways....they have a theater room and on certain days they do an impromptu play where they select characters out of the audience and while telling the story allow the cast to act it out. 
Friday was our first time experiencing the Castle Theater but Syd was excited and we quickly found our seats.     The director/story teller was so stinking funny and made it such a great experience.
The play they performed was, "Blanca Flor" which I believe (he said) translates to White Flower....which could also be skin as white as snow or Snow white.  Spanish version.
He picked characters first and called for volunteers.   Sydney's hand flew up.   I was a little amazed because although loud and normally not shy....once she's asked to stand up in front....she quickly becomes shy.  but she raised her hand for the lead role of the wicked step mother.    Her role was the only one he asked to be auditioned for.   Each girl had to stand up and throw a tantrum.   seeth.  scream.  act like a wicked step mother.
Syd was picked hands down.
After the casting was done he laid out the story.   While he was telling the story.....the rest of the cast was standing and listening.   Not my Syd.  She was expressing her hatred for the princess (when he got to that part) she was sticking her nose in the air and showing her vain overly proud side (each time he spoke of her character)  basically, she killed it.  (for a first timer in an impromtu play I mean :)
She spoke clearly and loud.   She stayed in character for the most part.  SHE. is a drama queen.  and a pretty good actress I must say.
My sister in law was with us and seemed bewildered that we were so surprised by this.  :) 
What ?  Next you'll ask me who she gets it from....right ?   ah fushup.

sorry, camera phone quality photo

As to not leave the boys out...we performed another skit today.  Similar to the 3 stooges, only in this one there were 4 stooges.
Cast : Playing the part of the stooges in alphabetical order.   Cameron, Nathan, Ryan and Spencer.
Scene
I was playing trains on the floor with Cam.   The other 3 boys soon jumped in and wanted to play.   Things went downhill pretty quickly.
It went something like this; Nathan wanted Ryan's train piece.   Ryan wanted Ryan's train piece.   Nathan took Ryan's train piece.  Ryan threw a train directly at Nathan's head. (geo trax train.  I estimate it weighed nearly 10lbs, ok maybe not..but it would still hurt like hell to be hit with one)  with lightening fasts reflexes I deflected it with my hand, kind of like the car crash in the blind side....and it missed his face but hit his arm.  Nathan started crying.   Spencer who was behind Ryan watching it all happen then hit Ryan's back.  Ryan starts screaming at which point he turns around and sees Cameron sitting there....assuming it was he who hit him in the back....hits Cam.   Cameron looks up from his train, who up until now probably didn't know that anyone had hit anyone and he hits Ryan for hitting him.
All the while I'm saying, Ryan, don't thro...Spencer, no! why would you....Ryan, it wasn't even Cam who hit...Cameron, please....would everybody STOP HITTING !
And then I picked Ryan up, put him in my lap and started laughing hysterically.

If they don't thank their mother in their acceptance speeches, I'm kicking some ass.
   

This Moment Friday

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Praise or punishment

Cameron, in a fit of rage over a bowl of dry cereal (which he requested for lunch) vs. a peanut butter and jelly (which his brother Nathan requested for lunch) ended with his bowl full of honey bunches of oats aka honey and a whole bunch of small tiny little flakey pieces of oats that couldn't possibly be picked up with even the smallest pincer grasp, all over the floor.   
I told Cameron to clean it up.   He sat under the table and cried.  He put a couple of handfuls in the bowl.   I told him to get the vaccum cleaner and get it all up.     He cried harder.

Spencer jumped up, went down the hall and got the vaccuum, brought it to the kitchen, unraveled the cord and plugged it in.    At which point I was trying to decide if making Cameron clean up his own mess....the kid who NEVER cleans up after himself....Who when told to clean lets his siblings (including the babies) clean while he gets lost playing with whatever it was that he picked up to put away.   He is TERRIBLE.
Or, do I let Spencer do a kind deed.   He was serving his brother and trying to make him feel better.
What to do ?  What to do ?   Follow through with my original request letting Cameron know that I don't mess around and give in or let Spencer be a hero and set a good example of brotherly love and compassion and be praised for it.

It was a tough decision.  but in the end I let Spencer vaccuum because although the sweet gesture only slightly pursuaded me....it was the fight I would ultimately have with Cam following through that would have been super exhausting, that broke the tie.  :)
Hey.   When you see a window of opportunity.....don't pass that shit up.

and as you can see....Cam did use the tube thing to play clean.

OH and I just remembered.    Spencer also wanted a PB&J and was ALSO told that he had to finish his cereal that he too requested before getting one.   He ate it and was ready for a sandwhich.   I made him one.    Cameron who was super hungry, who's lunch had been sucked up and thrown away...was crying for a sandwhich.   I told him that I wouldn't make him a sandwhich unless he ate his cereal first and he chose to throw it on the floor.    
I did then say, "if Spencer wants to share his sandwhich with you Cam....that's up to him." 
and Spencer did.
And then I gave them both graham crackers, milk and a movie for quiet time/nap time....because I'm not a monster.

Resolute for a Better Birthday Suit

Who didn't think that one of my resolutions would be to eat better and get in shape raise your hand ? 
Bueller.  Bueller.

EVERY. STINKING. YEAR. IT'S THE SAME. THING.  and it seems to be the same resolution for like 95 % of the people out there, sooo I'm moving on.
No, no.  I really do want to work on getting in shape.   Not just fitting into my jeans...but looking better underneath them.  :-)

Resolutions
These are so hard for me to come up with, a virgo, someone who thrives to perfect that which I set forth and usually that which is unattainable.  but....here are a few "ideas" floating around in my head.

1-  I'd like to start utilizing the resources that are available to me in this city.   No not food stamps...because yes, technically as a single, unemployed mother of 5 I do qualify for them.  but I'll save those for when my boys begin eating a box of cereal each a day.  :)
I want to explore utah.   I need to take advantage of what we have here in this fine state.  (underneath the laws and some of the people who ruin write them)  
My kids haven't ever been to see the great salt lake. (it's very smelly) but 30 minutes away no less. 
J hasn't been to Lake Powell or Wendover for hell sakes.   This needs to change.
There are so many great mountains and lakes and trails and that 1 museum and hello....The dinosaur national monument is only a few hrs away.    Hell, there's a great kids dinosaur park just 45 minutes away.  
I'm hoping now that my baby boys are getting older, that I can trust myself to handle all of them and venture out.   That of course, if I shower that day.  and on to my next resolution.

2- shower.   Yes, if you've followed my blog....this, like weight loss, has been my resolution for the past several years.   Taking the first step in recognizing it people.    I'm 1/2 way to my goal, no ?

3- BE the example.    Kind of like, BE the ball.   Well, not exactly.   More like the burner on the stove being turned down......yes.....like that, I need to simma down.  

4- Understand.  Most of it is normal.

5- Realize.   Most of it, they'll grow out of.

6- Relax.  in knowing 4 and 5.

7- create a routine that includes......family night and chores.  one that will also includes the other 6 people in this family. 

8- follow through with number 7.

9- and numbers 1-6.   ok, for sure, for sure numbers 1 and 4.   for sure.  also Really hoping to follow through with 1.

10- Spend less, save more

I'm already starting my list for 2012.  My babies will be 4.  FOUR.  I will probably, actually, most likely be able to accomplish what I set out for in 2012.   yeah baby. yeah.
That is not to diminish or devalue what I've set forth before you today.  TOTALLY gonna try to do it.

Doing creative time !

When Sydney gets in trouble and sent to her room she mostly spends her time writing stories or coloring.   Writing signs and names on tape that she later sticks to the wall or backs of the person that matches the name.  She'll make "I'm sorry" cards for the one she's wronged. :-)  and sometimes she makes "just because cards".
Like this one for instance.  

Front

inside

back

Sweet right.    Rainbows and stars, great coloring and all of the little details.
Just a little background for those that might not know....BYU is Brigham Young University.   The U of U's or University of Utah's biggest rival.     We happen to be U of U fans. 
I like the way she carefully with a subtle touch, sticks it to J for putting her in time out :-)


It's been 8 days since Ryan has had anything to eat. Eight. He has licked a few items of food but won't eat them. He isn't dehydrated so that's a plus.
This kids lips would even make Angelina Jolie jealous. There are ulcers lining the inside of his lips, coating his cheeks and around his tongue. His gums bleed and are swollen up around his teeth. He has dried blood under his binky and all over my pillowcases and yesterday morning he woke up with a little blood in his nose. This kid is so sick.
2 more days. ugh. I hope this is one of those things his mind chooses to black out and erase. He has been in so much pain this last week. He watched me cut out sugar cookies for about 5 minutes without crying. he was very much on the brink a few times....I wanted to capture a great moment with all of my kids...and then I left to get the camera. Poor little thing.

***update***
He's talking. He started at 1am and today I can't shut him up. :)  He even slept for a 2hr slot last night.  WITHOUT WAKING UP AND SCREAMING OUT.
He isn't screaming and crying an hour and 1/2 before his meds are due...in fact...I've given him his meds without having him remind me with his behavior.  He still cries and fights me but is playing and smiling and OMG could it be ? cou-ou-ou-d it be ? hold a moment.(sounds of sobbing) I canNOT believe we made it out of this one.
Unbelievable.