Where the freak was the binky fairy mom ?

It's officially our biggest leap yet.    Losing bottles. piece of  cake !  Potty training. a SNAP !
but on April 15th 2012.  Ryan and Nathan threw away their binkies.  
We have been prepping them for the last 11 months and 12 days for this day.     Every night J would tell them that when they were ready they could go to the toy store...pick out a toy...and throw their binky in the garbage.
If they didn't make the choice to do it before their 4th birthday....the choice would be made for them.
(a threat we only use because of the dentist)

Nathan has been telling us for over a week.  "Mom, I want to throw my binky away.   I want to go to the store"
He'd even say it before bedtime.   He let J keep his binky 2 nights for the first 2 1/2 minutes of bedtime.   and then of course realized...hey, I'm no idiot...if you aren't taking me to the store...I want the damn binky,

Sunday Ryan approached J and he too was ready.
We were both super excited....but after going through 3 other binky whores, it's hard to walk into the fire knowing we're going to get burned.  We also know that there's only one way out and it's through the fire.

We headed to Toys R us.  
We tried leading them to some things we thought they might like and need.   ie.  Nathan needs a tricycle that fits him...his knees hit the handles on his other one.   Instead.   Ryan rode the big wheel around while Nathan picked up every weapon in the store claiming, "I want THIS one mom.   I want THIS one."

I want this sword and shield mom.

Ryan. tearing up toys r us on his cars 2 hot wheel trike..not giving a shit about picking a toy out.  
but look closely in the background.   You'll notice  mommy J holding a double headed war ax she had taken away from Nathan and was trying to direct him someplace else :) ha ha

I want this gun mom.  

Nope...this is it.  This is the gun I want

ooooh.  tools.

I found it.  It's a 3 pack...I get 2 guns and a sword and they ALL make noise.  (moms heads drop with  a discouraged shake)

Nathan had finally decided on his.   We doubled back over a few of the aisles and tried excitedly to entice Ryan with spider-man masks and action heroes.    Nothin.   and then.   we headed down an aisle and sitting on the shelf was WOODY...with a HAT !
You see.   Ryan got a woody doll in Disney land a few years ago.    He loved him.  and then he lost his hat.  (we think at a store) without the hat Woody was no good.   He tried to love him.   He tried to accept his cold hard hair.  but time took it's toll and soon Ryan was slamming him into walls and during his play time I'd hear him berating him about not having a hat.  :)   He threw him to the floor last week and one of his hands broke off.   It was over.
until now.
He picked the box up and kissed it and squealed and cheered and immediately announced to anyone who walked passed us and even those who didn't....that "this is my Woody doll.  I'm picking him"
He was absolutely smitten.   and I smiled and beamed and WOW how great that he is so in love with him.  and I turned to J and said, "it's a collectors item.  it's 50 bucks"
and she gasped and furrowed and then we looked at him licking the plastic window on the box and there was no way either one of us were going to take it away.
so...

He tried to work 2 toys...even going as far as telling Mommy J that he'll get woody...she can get the tools. :)  Smart kid.

After we checked out and had the sales clerk cut through the barbwire that held the toys in....it was time to throw away the binkies.   Let me rephrase that.  binky.   because Ryan had thrown his away as we walked in.  We didn't even realize he'd done it :)
Nathan said, "no...I want my binky"  so J followed up with, "ok Buddy, give me your toys...we have to give them back then"
Nathan dramatically sighed and walked over to the garbage can and said, "oh fine then"  and threw it in.

We were so happy.   Well we were happy on the outside.   We knew what we were in for.

Later that night -

Ryan was ok.   He cried about it.  but Nathan. ABSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL.
I felt so bad for him.    I rocked him and sang and then he told me to "STOP!"   so I stopped singing and told him it would be ok, I know it's hard...and he fell asleep.
and then he woke up even more mad and sweaty and panicky and thirsty and all he wanted was his "BINKY"  "I WANT MY BINKY"  and for 15 minutes he screamed and Ryan slept.  and out of sheer exhaustion he fell back to sleep.
and then he woke up again and was a little more defeated this time but still as sad and pissed...all he wanted was his binky and this time he woke Ryan up.  
(this is the part where I'm going to add that having twins is a LOT harder in situations like this.   Not only do you have 1 little person suffering through the loss of a soothing item...but 2.  and dealing with 1 is hard enough...twin pitty party...your table is ready)

They both cried for about 5-10 minutes and slept the rest of the night.

 They woke up right where they left off wanting their binkies, but as they only get them at night to sleep, the day was more or less just another day.
I thought for SURE they'd be better tonight.
and they were.  
Nathan cried and got mad and bitch slapped J twice.   I rocked Ryan who was super sad and then he laid down by J and fell fast asleep while I rocked Nathan who quieted down and then laid in his bed and fell asleep while I tucked his big brothers and sister in.
So far not a peep.

I think tomorrow will be even better and then we'll be done.
I do love those binkies.   I will miss and always appreciate the work that they saved me.  but holy sheeawz.  could it be that we won't have those damn binkies in our house again.

Syd asked me tonight a little confused and almost pissed...."where was the binky fairy mom ?"
umm, I suppose this is that consistency part of parenting you are warned about.  oops.

I'm here to testify people.  
As IN LOVE with their binkies as your kids might be....and my kids were in freaking love with them.    They can give them up.   It Can Be Done !  
A little faith hope and proof coming your way.
Good luck !

Oh and for those who feel like they need to stress about their childs love for a binky...fuhgetaboutit.   Let them have them.  who cares.  don't sweat it.   relax and enjoy that they can self sooth :)